Their last days at Seoul

Hyunsoo looked at his phone for the nth time. He scrolled and found Yiyun’s contact. He kept doubting whether to call her or not. He pushed the dial button but after two-three seconds, he disconnected it. He threw his phone on bed and scratched his head in frustration. It always happened every night. He really wanted to call her and talk to her like they used to but everything had changed.

The distance between them became larger and larger every day.  Last semester, she was the one who avoided him. She often acted like she was really busy and didn’t have any spare time to talk with him. Now at this semester, he was the one who did it and he couldn’t figure it out why he did that. What was wrong with him? He even didn’t recognize himself anymore. He kept avoiding her.

At class, he sat at the last row and when he saw her shadow or heard her voice, he fold his arms on table and buried his face, pretended sleeping. During the class, he secretly stole a glance to her but when she turned her head to him, he straightened his face and looked directly to the lecturer or looked down and pretended he wrote something on his note.

During lunch break, he barely saw her at cafeteria. Once he spotted her at library. He didn’t approach her. He pretended that he didn’t see her. He took the opposite direction and sat far away from her but it was clear enough to see her from that spot. He secretly observed her. He really wanted to walk there, sit beside her, and talk to her like they used to be in their old days. But he couldn’t do that anymore. It was so complicated to him. He didn’t know and wasn’t sure with his feeling toward her. She was his best friend but if he thought again about what happened between them, even a fool person alive in this world could tell that what he did to her wasn’t a thing that someone did to his friend. It was more than a friendship. It was so frustrating for him. He even couldn’t focus with his thesis paper when he saw her around. So he decided to do his paper at his apartment. He decided to finish it quickly so he could think about what he would do to her later.

For almost five months, they didn’t talk to each other. He barely saw her around campus. He only saw her once a week, at the only class they took together this semester. No word in this world that could describe perfectly how much he missed her.

Then that day came. The graduation day. At that day, for the first time they saw each other on their graduation ceremony. She looked so beautiful that day. She grew her hair a bit longer. It wasn’t short like boy’s hair anymore. It was still short but he found it cute. She talked to the girls and sometimes she laughed. He couldn’t help himself to not smile faintly. He was about to approach her but someone grabbed his arm. It was one of his boy friends, Youngjae. Youngjae dragged Hyunsoo into boys talk.

My heart skips a beat and it’s so hard to breath. Just one thing you do can make me smile, don’t you know why?

Few minutes later, Soojung appeared on the scene. Like their agreement, she acted like his girlfriend in front of all people. She linked her arm around Hyunsoo’s and blended naturally with the boys. Hyunsoo turned into Soojung and smiled to her. He mouthed thank you to Soojung secretly and she replied with a sweet smile. Then he looked at Yiyun direction and they had few seconds eye-contact. He startled a bit. Her expression had changed. She didn’t look cheerful like he saw few minutes ago. She pursed her lips and her eyes widened in shock. She gripped her dress and then turned away her face from him. She walked away. He was about to run to her but Soojung grabbed his arm tightly.

“Oppa, where are you going? The ceremony will start soon”, said her.

He blinked and looked at her. “Ah… that… I want to go to toilet.”

“Oh, okay.” Soojung released his arm. “Just back here soon.”

“Alright. Save a seat for me, okay?” said him before walked away.

Hyunsoo walked faster. He tried to chase Yiyun but she was like poof away in the air. He couldn’t find her. So he was just back and sat beside Soojung, enjoyed their long and bored graduation ceremony.

Farewell Party

5 PM. Hyunsoo stood in front of Soojung’s door and rang the bell. Few seconds later, she opened the door and smiled sweetly to him. He couldn’t help but smiled back to her.

“You look pretty today, Soojung”, praised her.

“Gomawo. You look handsome too, Oppa”, said her shyly.

“Shall we?” asked him while offered his hand.

She nodded and smiled while put her hand on his. “Sure.”

“Today is a special day so I borrow a car from my cousin”, said him while walked with her to his car and opened the door to her.

She was surprised a bit but she went with the flow. She got in and sat there quietly. He smiled, closed the door and got into the car. He put the seatbelt and drove the car to a restaurant where they would attend farewell party.

“Soojung ah…”, called him softly.

“Yes, Oppa?” replied her while looked at him.

He took a glance to her. “Gomawo for today and for everything.” He smiled.

“It’s okay, Oppa. You don’t need to thank to me.” She shook her head.

“But still… thanks cause you want to stay by my side till the end of this farewell party. Thank you for being my girlfriend till this night.”

She smiled. “Thanks for you too, Oppa, cause you want to be my boyfriend till this night so I won’t attend this party alone. Oppa, I’m sorry…”

“Nah, it’s okay, Soojung. It’s already a history. Don’t feel guilty anymore. I’m perfectly okay now and I guarantee that I will always be okay in the future.”

She nodded. “Okay, Oppa. I understand. Let past be a past and let think about the future.”

“Yeah, you’re right”, said him while parked the car. “Here we are.”

“Oh, we arrived?” asked her while took off her seatbelt and looked around.

“Soojung…”, called him while grabbed her hand.

“Yes, Oppa?” She looked at him.

“Be happy, today, tomorrow, and days after tomorrow.”

She smiled widely. “I will, Oppa. Don’t worry. You should be happy too.”

“Of course I will. Let’s go inside.” He took off his hand from her and got out from the car.

He opened the door for her and offered his arm. She smiled while got out from the car and linked her arm around his. They walked to the restaurant and acted so natural like a real couple. The restaurant already full with their friends. They smiled and greeted their friends. Hyunsoo looked around but he couldn’t Yiyun. Suddenly Jinri came and dragged Soojung from him.

“Oppa, tonight Soojung is mine, okay?” said Jinri while put her arm around Soojung’s shoulder.

“Yah! Choi Jinri!” shouted Soojung.

Hyunsoo chuckled. “Alright. Because I love you that’s why I will share her with you tonight”, said him jokingly to Jinri.

“I love you too, Oppa”, said Jinri brightly.

“Yah! Oppa! How could you share me with her?” protested Soojung while pouted a bit.

“Don’t worry, baby. She only can have you for a night but I can have you every night”, replied Hyunsoo while smirked.

“Yyyah! Oppa! Byuntae!” protested Soojung.

“Soojung ah~, don’t growing anymore, okay? Your current height is perfect for me to wrap my arm around your shoulder”, said Jinri while dragged her to the girls’ table.

“Wwwhat? Byuntae? Me?” Hyunsoo blinked in confused.

“Whoa! Man! Jinri stole your date too?” asked Youngjae while offered a glass of beer to Hyunsoo.

“What do you mean with ‘stole your date too’?” asked Hyunsoo while took the glass. “Thanks.”

“Because Yiyun also stole my Jieun for herself”, said Youngjae before sipped his beer.

“Huh?” Hyunsoo looked at him.

“Heol! I can’t believe it. In my own graduation and farewell party, my girlfriend ditches me and goes with Yiyun.” Youngjae drank his beer again.

Hyunsoo chuckled. “Well, wanna me to accompany you tonight?”

“Yah! What do you mean with that?! I’m straight!” protested Youngjae.

“Aish! Who said you’re not?” Hyunsoo sipped his beer.

“Oppa!” shouted Soojung while waved at Hyunsoo, signaling him to come to her table.

“Well, Man, my date is calling me. See you around.” Hyunsoo bumped lightly his glass to Youngjae’s and then walked to Soojung.

“Tsk!” grunted Youngjae.

Hyunsoo sat beside Soojung and started small random talk with the girls. The already tipsy Jinri interrogated them with various questions that made Soojung confused. She didn’t know how to reply those questions because in the fact, she and Hyunsoo were not dating anymore. Hyunsoo took Soojung’s hand and held it tightly. He answered all questions with diplomatic answers. Soojung looked at him and smiled in relieve. Hyunsoo smiled back to her. The girls kept teasing them and that made Soojung blushed madly.

Hyunsoo kept smiling and scanned around the room. Finally he found her. Yiyun sat in the corner with Jieun with few bottles of soju on their table. They talked and it seemed serious. But their table was far enough from him. He couldn’t eavesdrop their conversation. Jieun only drank few glasses but Yiyun made him worried. She drank a lot. Mostly the empty bottles there were from Yiyun.

He kept look at her, prayed silently that she would look at him. Few minutes later, heaven granted his pray. Yiyun looked at him with her half-opened eyes. She was already drunk. They had eye-contact for few minutes. Hyunsoo smiled at her but she seemed like she didn’t see it. She turned away her face and grabbed another bottle.

In the end of the party, Yiyun was drunk. She even couldn’t walk straightly. She even collapsed on Jieun’s arms. They tried to call her home but none answered the phone. Soojung asked Hyunsoo to send her home and he agreed. The boys carried Yiyun and laid her inside Hyunsoo’s car.

Hyunsoo sent Soojung to her home first and then drove his car to Yiyun’s home. Once he arrived to her home, he quickly ran to the front door. He literally abused their bell but none opened the door for him. He knocked the door desperately while called her family for few minutes. The result was still same. None opened the door for him. He ran back to his car and tried to wake up Yiyun. She was half conscious when he shook her and asked her where were her family. She said that nobody was home in husky voice before passed out again. He sighed and slammed the door. He drove his car to his apartment.

Unconscious Confession

Minutes later, he parked his car and carried her out from car. They entered a small dark room. He laid her down on a comfortable bed.

“Okay!” He breathed heavily. “Here we are! You better not threw up on my bed!”

He took off her shoes. He also took off her jacket and her glasses, and put them somewhere.

“Let’s drink more soju!” She yelled while rolled on bed.

He chuckled. “Not now, my Josephine!” He sat beside her.

“Why!?” She shouted.

“You’re drunk!”

“I’m not!” She tried to get up but ended up fall back on bed.

“Yes, you are. Now, sleep!”

“Dun wanna~!” She tackled him so he felt on bed.

“Yyah!”  He yelled. “What are you doing?”

She cupped his face and looked at him.”Oppa! Saranghae! Why you can’t see me? Why you can’t feel my love? I love you, you know! Why you choose her over me?” She shouted and started crying.

He widened his eyes. Suddenly he wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her into his hug. She dropped her hands on his chest, gripped tightly his shirt. She cried till drenched his shirt. He was confused. What was wrong with her? He caressed her back softly while kissed her head few times and whispered ‘it’s okay’ to her. He made sure that she was okay, both physically and mentally.

“Oppa! Saranghae!” She cried.

He startled a bit. A lot of questions appeared in his mind. Did she really lover him? Or, she mistook him as someone else? And, why he felt a slightly pain in his chest when he thought that she mistook him as someone else?

“Shhh… Josephine…” He hugged her tight. “Just sleep, my Josephine. Just sleep. I’m here. Don’t worry. It’s okay. Gwenchana.”

“Stay with me… Don’t leave me alone with me… I’m afraid…”

“I will… Just sleep, baby… Just sleep…”

She closed her eyes and sobbed. He pecked her face many times and sometimes patted her back lightly. Her eyes became so heavy to lift up. She slowly fell asleep.

“Josephine…”, whispered him softly. “What I am to you? What you are to me? I don’t even know myself anymore.” He looked at her and brushes his hand on her cheek. “I’m confused. Help me to figure it out. I can’t find the answer alone.” He pulled her closer and rested his head on hers. He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes. “Help me…”

Last Breakfast

In the next morning, everything became more confusing for him once he opened his eyes. She already awoke and stared at him, waiting a long explanation from him. She asked this and that. He answered all questions and told her every single detail about what happened last night and how she ended up in his place again. Well, it had been a while since the last time she slept over on his apartment.

She looked so miserable while deal with terrible hangover in that morning but it served her right. That was her fault because she drank those soju like crazy last night. Her hair was in a mess. Her eyes were still half-opened. She kept rubbing her head. He quickly made a cup of warm Earl Grey Tea and gave it to her. That bergamot scent made her felt a bit better. He sighed in relieve. Then it was his turn to ask her something that bothered his mind since last night.

“Hey, Josephine, can I ask you something?”

She nodded. “Sure. What is it?”

“Who is him?”

“Him? Who?”

“Your oppa.” He looked at her. “You talked about him last night.”

She widened her eyes and suddenly gripped her empty cup tightly. “Wwwhat… what did I tell you?” She held her breath. She was so nervous. She was afraid that her big secret already revealed last night.

“Nothing much. You just said Oppa, saranghae.” He tilted his head and rubbed his chin. “Then you mumbled something while sobbing. I can’t hear it clearly.”

“O… only that?” She asked him with shaking voice. He nodded. “Are you sure?” She asked him again.

“Perfectly sure.” She sighed in relief. “But…” He pursed his lips and took a deep breath.

“But?” She looked at him.

“You mistook me as him.” He laughed faintly and that laugh sounded so weird.

“What!?” The cup slipped from her hands.

“Josephine?” He startled. “Are you okay?” He looked so worry about her.

She gripped his arms. “Did I say any name?”

He shook his head. “Nope. You kept calling oppa, oppa, and oppa but you didn’t mention any name.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. 100% sure.” He nodded.

“So, I mistook you…” She dropped down her hands and looked down. “…as him, huh?”

“Yeah. Short of. It was hard to make you calm down, honestly.”

He was still curious about that man. Who was that? He wanted to ask her about it but he held it back. It was her privacy. He didn’t want to force her if she didn’t want to tell him about that man.

She smiled bitterly. “Mianhe…”

“Eh? For what?”

“For bothering you last night.” She said softly.

“Nah. It’s okay. That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Friend? Yeah.” She looked at him and smiled.

Her smile was looked like a sad one and somehow it made him felt slightly sad. She walked to bathroom and he prepared warm porridge for her. He was done with everything but she was still inside the bathroom. He walked into middle room and grabbed his guitar. It had been a while since the last time he played it. He sat on floor and tuned his beloved guitar. During tuning his guitar, a song suddenly appeared in his mind. G-Dragon’s Butterfly. Then he started playing that song.

When he was about to reach the refrain part, someone gave him a back hug. He surprised for few seconds and stopped playing, but then he felt so comfortable. He felt a strange warm feeling appeared inside his heart. He looked back and saw her rested her head on his back. He bluntly asked her why she did that but she lazily ordered him to continue playing that song till the last cord.

That strange feeling inside his heart became stronger and made him confused. He didn’t know what he should say and what he should do. It would be so awkward for them and for their friendship. If he thought again and flashbacked, did a relationship between them was just friendship? If he remembered again about what they already did in the past, did all of them were normally had been done by two friends? What was it? Questions appeared inside his mind one by one and none of them he could answer surely. She suddenly said that she was hungry. It made him back to reality. He smiled and asked her to follow him to dining table.

“Hyun, I got a scholarship. I’ll go study aboard.” She told him once we sat on dinning table.

“WHAT!?” shouted him.

She smiled faintly. “I’ll go to U.K. and stay there for two years.”

“Why so sudden?”

She chuckled. “It’s not so sudden like what you think. I already had this plan since the last winter break.”

“So when you’ll go there?”

“Next week.” He was about to open his mouth when she said this to him. “Don’t me.”

“But…”

“Just don’t show up in airport before my departure time.”

“Why?”

“Cause I want to…” She ate her porridge slowly.

“Josephine, I’ll miss…”

“Don’t say a word that you really not mean it, Hyun. Don’t miss me.” She flashed