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Girlfriend? I stared at him with doe eyes. 

"Jongin, I don't want to hurt you. I respect you too much to put you through that." For some reason, after splashing around in the water, it feels like I've finally started to see it all clearly. His bright eyes turn dim as he starts to look away from me. "Jongin." I caress his cheek with my hand. "I don't want to put a label on us. Not yet at least. The next time you ask me, I want to say yes because I like you that way; not because I feel like it's the right thing to do." This time, I'm the one that leans forward to plant a soft kiss on his forehead. In the middle of our moment, I hear a voice call out for me. 

"Aerin-ah." I turn around and see Baekhyun standing there with his head hung low. 

"No, Baek." The mere sight of him is enough to get my emotions riling up. I leave Jongin in the water as I hop out on the other end. 

"Aerin, please." Baekhyun runs after me. I make my way towards the side entrance of the building. "Aerin." A hand grabs onto my wrist with a stern voice calling out to me. I couldn't turn around to look at him. If I look, I'll fall back into his arms. 

"No, Baek. We can't keep doing this. I've been too selfish. I kept my feelings to myself until I couldn't stand it seeing you with another person. I've held onto you this whole time which has led to you doing things you would've never done if it weren't for me. You're Hanna's boyfriend. Not mine. She deserves all the love and attention from you, not me. I ruined her birthday today by following through with what you planned. By being selfish and doing what I want, I've hurt others on the way." My voice starts to crack at the sound of my revelation out loud. "I've even hurt Jongin. He doesn't deserve that. And most of all, I've hurt you. And I don't think I can forgive myself for that so easily." At this point, I have tears coming out of both my eyes. I'm struggling to catch my breath and I'm using every muscle in my body to fight against the urge to turn around and jump into his arms. 

"Aerin-ah." Baek's voice was soft and quiet now. I've rendered him speechless for once. 

"I don't hate you, Baek. I never will. But it's time for both of us to heal, and go our separate ways for now. I'm going home now. I don't want to act like we're enemies but I don't think we can go back to what we were. It'll hurt us both too much. I know it feels like I'm not giving you much of a choice right now. But I really do think, I- no- we, need this. Let this be my last selfish deed." I feel his grip around my wrist slowly let go. 

"So, no more walking together to school in the morning? What happens when I see you at school?" There's nothing but hurt in his voice. I feel my heart drop to my stomach. I feel the guilt slowly build but I'm already so tired. 

"You have a girlfriend to walk with. And if we see each other at school, let's say hi. But let's not dwell. I need time to heal. And I hope you'll give me the space to." With his light grip around my wrist, I take this moment to take my hand back and walk away from this interaction. I found myself walking all the way home. I'm too out of it that the one-hour walk went by quickly. I forgot my keys and belongings at the party. Plus, I think mom is asleep for work. I walk over to the side of my room and look at the wall that Baek climbs in the morning to get onto my balcony. I climb up and was able to get in. My body drops onto the bed. I've used up all my energy today. As I stare blankly at the ceiling, my eyes begin to close and I slowly fall asleep. 

Knock, knock! I sit up from the noise confused by the constant knocking. Who is knocking on my door at this time? I scratched my head and noticed I was still in the dress from the night before. I crawl out of bed and hazily make my way to the door. 

"Who is it?" I clear my throat. 

"Aerin-ah." It was Jongin. I swing the door open and find him standing there. He was in his school uniform and holding two smoothies. "Can I come in?" Unable to fully wake up yet, I nod my head and make room for him to enter. I feel a little tense, especially after last night. I turned him down and just left him in the water. 

"Morning." Jongin sets the smoothies down before he turns around to laugh at me. "What?" He walks over and pats my head. Jongin, on the other hand, doesn't seem too bothered by the events that occurred the night before. Did he forget about last night?

"You look so cute. Come on, let's get you ready for school." He turns me around and starts to push me in the direction of my room. Before I could bring it up, he gets me moving. 

"Ugh, Jongin, I'm so lazy." I drag my feet up the stairs and soon we're back in my room. He sits me down at my desk and grabs the makeup remover wipes. 

"Close your eyes." I do as I'm told and sit still with my eyes closed. "I was looking for you last night. I didn't know you left the place." I feel Jongin delicately wipe the eyeliner off my eyes. 

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. After my conversation with Baek, I couldn't be there anymore. I left everything behind." 

"I know. I have your belongings in my bag. I didn't want to chase after you two because I thought you both needed to have a mo