This florist is located near where my mother is buried.

What...this date...

"Sorry."

Somebody took rhe receipt away from me. Startled, I look up.

"LuHan, that...."

He smiles as me, and then leaves, like nothing happened.

The poppies that have been placed on my mother's grave on every of her death anniversary.

They were from LuHan....

I thought to myself as I am walking back to the office.

He's trying to atone for his sins...

I recalled the image of my mother's grave, bright withnthe beautiful poppies.

How selfish...

If he thinks he did wrong, if he's going to go as far as paying hos respect to her every year, why wouldn't he admit to what he did at that time?

Why cover it up like a coward...?

I squeezed my white coat tightly.

Does he think that wipes his conscience clear?

If his regret is so superficial, I'd rather he just play innocent.

"Dr Jeon, do you have a moment?"

"Yes.."

Nurse Jihyun shows me someone's medical chart.

"Its about this patient. her feber isn't going down."

"I see. Let's try this new prescription."

I jotted it down on the chart and hands it back to her.

"Um.." Jihyun utter after reading it. "I believe this patient has an allergy to certain drugs...."

"What?" I look over the chart again...

She'a right. I even said it myself that she has an allergy so we need to be careful.

"I'm sorry, I completely forgot."

"That's okay. I'm glad I remember it."

I jotted down a new prescription .

"Alright, I'll take this to the pharmacy."

"Thank you."

 My eyes meet those of Nurse Oh. She looks worried.

I look away as if nothing happened, and then leave.

I've got to get it together....

At this rate,it look like I'll be the next one to make a mistake and kill a patient...

"Jiyoon, good timing."

"What's up," I asked.

Kris was trying to help Lay lifting a large box onto LuHan's desk.

"What's this?"

"A sample of the product that LuHan's looking into,"Lay answered.

"I"m sorry,"Kris said again. "Could you move the computer to the corner?"

"Like this?"

"Yes, perfect. Thank you."

Bang!

*rustle,rustle,rustle*

Lay accidentally knocked down a small box on LuHan's dsk and its content scatter everywhere.

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

Lay rushes over to pick up the mess and I crouched down to help him.

"What are these...."I whispered.

Letters written to LuHan....?

"Thank you letters from patients," Kris said with a proud smile.

"All of them?"

"Just a small portion of them actually. XiaoLu had saved more lives than this over these past 10 years."

The lives LuHan's saved....

I zoned out as I stare at all the letters covering the floor.

Lives that are connected to my mother's'....

If LuHan had admitted to what he had done back then, these people might have not been saved..

All these people are....

Taking LuHan's life means taking taking the lives of the many people who might have been saved by him in the future.

Is getting revenge worth all that?

But using the life of one person as a springboard for saving the lives of others?

Its inexcusable.

I collasped onto a bench, at my wits end.

Ugh...I cant take it anymore....The more I think about it, the more confused I get....

"Dr Jeon,"

"Nurse Oh..."

"May I?"

I nod in answer.

"What's the matter? You look upset."

I didnt reply.

"You seems tired lately."

"Yeah.. I guess I am. ."

"You haven't been sleeping much, have you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Your eyes are getting darker by the day. I've been worried about you."

"I'm sorry. Its really nothing to be worried d about."

" Well, I'm glad to hear that."

Nurse Oh takes ouf her lunch.

Looking at it, my stomach lets out an involuntary rumble.

"Oh Dr,!"

I shrug it off embarrassingly  "I didnt have time for lunch today."

She smiles kindly at me.

"You know, you cant skip meals if you want to be at your best. Since you're not sleeping properly, its no time to skimp on your eating. Here, have some."

She offers me a kimpbab.

"That's...I'm okay. I'll have something later."

"You dont have to stand on formality with me. Please take it. It's better for me too. I lik having somone to eat with. Plus, you never know when an emergency patient will be brought in. You gotta eat when you can."

"Okay, you convinced me."

Its been so long since I've had something homemade.

I look at the food with this thought and take a bite.

"Its good..."

Before I realize it...I was smiling.

"Yes, thats the smile the patients have been waiting for."

"The patients?"

" They've been talking about it too. They've been asking about you whether you're feeling all right."

"....."

"They say that lately you always have this worried look on your face. That even your smile looks worried."

"Patients say that?"

"They have. Its like you know who's the doctor and who's the patient right?"

She looks at my face while putting her chopstick down. "Dr Jeon, the patients watch us carefully. They're fighting for their lives day in and out. And they're desperate for information. Even if they can only get it from a change in expression on their doctor's face. The patients will get uneasy when their doctor's face reads doom and gloom. It could be something personal but you can't let them see it. They'll misunderstood."

"You're right..."

Nurse Oh expression changes.

"A patient can experience both heaven and hell just from one look at their doctor's face. You should be more conscious of that,"she said sternly.

 "I'm sorry."

Tears begin to form in my eyes.

Nurse Oh was surprised.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it as an attack. I just...."

"It's okay. It's something else,"I assured her.

"You reminded me of my mother,thats all..."

"Dr...."

"It's just that there isnt anybody else to warn me something like that. Or who would give me a homemade kimpbab for that matter..."

"Oh please... If you don't mind having something simple like this. I can bring some in any day of the week."

"Thank you."

"So..." She puts a gentle hand on my shoulder, reminding me of when I was a little kid. "You don't see your mother often then?"

"No, my mother.... She's too far away."

"She must be worried about you."

"I don't know."

"Of course she is. I am this close to my boy and he gets me worried all the time."

"....? What do you mean close...?"

"Oh my, you don't know? I thought I told you. Oh Sehun in Internal Medicine. He's my son."

I was totally taken aback.

Of course, they're both 'Oh'. Why hadn't I realized that earlier?" 

" Surprised?"

"Yes, I am."

She looks away in sadness. "I was always leaving him alone, even when he was little. I was never home to be with him. So I was sure he would never want a career in Medicine. And yet..."

"He wanted to be a doctor?"

 "Yes but I didn't think he was suited to it and I told him before to stop thinking about it. He would listen. Since he wanted it that badly, as a parent, I wanted to do whatever I could to help make it happen."

"I see..."

"So why did you become a doctor?"

"Because...my mother... She was sick....."

"Oh...." Nurse Oh covered with one hand.

"I thought if I were a doctor, I'd be able to help her. That's the way a child thinks."

Nurse Oh smiled. "But I don't think its childish. Feelings like this are the most valuable. Your mother must be happy to have such a devoted daughter. And how is your mother doing?"

"Before I became a doctor, another doctor...."

"Ah...."

"In the end, my devotion doesn't mean anything," I whispered.

"What are you talking about? Nothing can make a parent happier than seeing their own child happy. If you think you want to make something for her, you need to let to of your inhibitions and make yourself happy. As a doctor and as a woman. I'm sure your mother wants that for you."

"....."

I was back in the office.

Revenge...

"For 12 years, that's what I thought would show the greatest devotion to my mother.... Could what I'm doing now be making my mother sad..?"

"Hmmm, what was that?"

I'm startled as Kris happens to be passing by and overhears me.

"Nothing..Oh,I almost forgot...Here's the material for tomorrow's conference."

Kris smiles as he took it from me. "You're the best Jiyoon, always a step ahead. Thanks. By the way...The other night you were with XiaoLu weren't you?"

"Um...yes..You saw us huh?"

"No,"he said sheepishly.

"No? Were you just trying to get a confession out of me ?"

"No,no. XiaoLu made an appearance just as I was about to go home."

Meaning he went back to the restaurant?

"For some reason he was given an already open wine bottle.

"Huh?"

An already opened bottle....

"And you know, I put two and two together. Well? Pretty good detective work, wouldnt you say?"

Kris looks at me with a proud look in his eyes.

"Right. But why would LuHan drinks old wine?"

"Beats me...He even went to the trouble of asking whether anyone else touched the stuff. He looked quite serious."

"Strange.."I shrug it off.

So he did realize.

He must have thought the wine had been poisoned and comes back to check.

He knows that I tried to poison him.

He knows everything.

Looking at the night sky at the rooftop while sitting down on a bench.

I told myself that there's no turning back.

There's no place now for me to be thinking about personal happiness and all that.

I laugh, mocking myself and look up at the brilliant night view above me.

I'm sorry,Mom.....

Even if it cause you pain, I don't have a choice anymore.

Please watch over me. Help me to finalize my wish...

A star shoots across the sky as if in answer to my prayers.

"Ah..."

"What did you wish for?"

I turn my head around in surprise. "LuHan...when did you?"

"I didn't mean to surprise you. I was going to say something buy the way you were looking up at the sky... You looked so serious."

"You saw it? The shooting star."

He nods."Thanks to you of course."

I keep smiling as I stand up to leave.

"Would you come over tonight?"

"What?"

He knows that I want to kill him and he invites me to his house?

Maybe...its some kind of a trap.

Even if it was a trap.I have to take my chances.

"Would that be alright? I don't wanna intrude.."

"As long as you're okay with it.."

" Of course I am..we are a couple, aren't we?"

"We are."

"Let me just finish a few things. Then I will head over."

He smiles happily. "OK,I will be waiting."

I looks up at the high-rise building soaring above me.

I'm sure he knows everything by now.

Which means everything will end here, be it success or failure...

"You were quick," he said when he opens the door for me. LuHan leads me to the living room where he had started to put out food and drinks.

"I invited you here but it turns out that I have nothing to offer you so I ordered out from a place nearby. I don't know if its any good..."

"I'll take care of that," I offered.

I began unwrapping the hours d'oeuvres and place them on the table.

LuHan uncorks a bottle of wine.

Wait a second.

Whatever happens to that bottle from the restaurant?

I casually glance around the room but I don't see anything resembling that bottle.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I was just thinking what a lovely place you have..."

"There's nothing here except liquor."

LuHan smiles slightly, then hands me a wine glass.

"Let's make a toast."

"A toast? To what?"

"Good point..."

"To our meeting then?"

He nodded.

To our ironic meeting....

We clink our glasses and take a sip. There's an awkward silence.

"Why did you ask me here...?"

"Are you annoyed?"

"Of course not!"

"Good."

"I thought there might be something you wanted it to talk about...."

He looks away for a brief second. "No. I just thought it might be nice to see each other like this from time to time..."

"Yeah right...from time to time."

Without much to say to each other, we down a bottle of wine in no time.

LuHan's already starting on the second.

"Um, are you okay?"

"What?"

"You're drinking pretty quickly.."

He laughs. "I feel like I'very been told that before, by you..."

"You were. In that bar down the side street."

"You were always showing concern for me..."

I look at him when he said that. What does he mean?

"Concern....for someone like me........"

Silence.

Did he just fall asleep?

I quietly peer into his face.

"LuHan..."

I called his name but there's no response.

I stand up softly.

Entered the kitchen. A large knife is sitting out and I take it with a shaking hand.

Get a hold of yourself, Jiyoon!

This is probably my last chance. If I screw it up , I'll be found out and most likely run out of the hospital.

Any chance at revenge or LuHan's love would be lost forever.

If the only option is to lose both, then if I can at least have this.

My face is reflected on the blade. It looks distorted and ugly.

I guess this is what the face of a killer looks like...

I returned to the living room. He is still sleeping.

I'm holding the knife behind my back as I walk towards him.

This is for my mother......

Resolutely, I raised the knife high up on the air.

I didn't move. Its as though my body is frozen.

I can't....

I can't do it!!!!!

He opens up his eyes and looks up at me. "What's wrong?"

I was shocked that he caught me in the act.

He looks directly at me. "Why don't you do it?"

I was dumbfounded.

"If you just swing your arm down, it'll be all over."

"Why? Why don't you run away?"

Tear began running down my cheeks. "You're not going to do anything? You'll just let me kill you?"

"If that's what you want."

"I....I....."

"I'm prepared to take all the blame. "

"!"

So he intended to die from the start and invited me here?