I'm facing LuHan.

We were enjoying the dinner on a cruise ship.

"Its delicious,"I gushed after tasting the steak.

"It is,"he replied, smiling.

"Arghh!"

Suddenly LuHan puts his hands over his throat. He's in pain.

"LuHan..."

Whats wrong?. I haven't done anything....

"Jiyoon,"he calls out, his voice cracking up.

Really...I ... I really didnt do this...

"You...?"

I panicked. "No, it wasnt me.. It wasnt..."

LuHan still in agony, takes hold of my hand.

"No, let go...."

"Let go!"

"Jiyoon,"

I heard his voice calling out my name.

I open my eyes and was greeted by his handsome face.

He is gripping my hands tightly.

A dream.....

It felt so real....

"Are you alright?"

I gave a small nod.

Did I say something in my sleep.....

My eyes wandered around. "Where are we?"

I have been sleeping in a sofa.

"We're still on the boat."

Thats right... Suddenly everything went dark, and ....

"I fainted, didnt I?"

"You did. How do you feel?"

"I'm fine."

I start to get up but he stops me.

"You should rest till we reach the port."

"I'm sorry. I really wanted us to go on this date," I said sadly.

"Dont worry about it. You're tired."

Now thay he mentions it. I guess I havent been sleeping well.

Eversince I found out that it was LuHan's mistake

I wanted to stay strong but it looks like reality is really doing on a number on me.

"Why dont I get you some water?"

I held onto his hand. "Please, stay here...I want you to hold my hand, just a little longer."

"okay.."

I tighten my hold and close my eyes.

LuHan's hand...its so warm...

If its possible,.I wouldnt ever let go of this hand. But...I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

How can I give uo avenging my mother because of these selfish emotions...

I can feel myself losing consciousness again.

I know that tears are streaming down on my cheeks because I feel them.

LuHan gently wipes them away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

What..? Why are you crying?

Because of what you've done 12 years ago?

Or is this another dream?

We get off the ship. 

LuHan is holding me in a way thats almost an embrace.

"You"re not cold?"

"No, the breeze is refreshing,"I assure him.

"That's good."

"I'm really sorry for tonight. I made you come all the way here only to have you to nurse me until we could leave."

"That's okay, I'm glad I was with you when it happened."

We stopped walking along the pier.

"Or...do you wish that I wasn't here?"

"Of course not...I wanna be with you. I want another minute or even just another second."

He remain stoic.

"You don't feel that way? Do you wish that you and I hadn't started this?"

A shade of confusion appears on his eyes.

"No..."

"If I've become a nuisance to you, you should tell me. I'm not blind,you know. You're different lately. You seem to be avoiding me. Your expression will suddenly becomes dark. If my presence is making you uncomfortable. I want you to be honest and tell me."

"What....does that mean?"

"What do you mean, 'What does that mean?' "

"Nevermind..."

"But you said it yourself, that your judgement has been compromised. I dont want to do that to you. If I am interrupting your life like that, I should bite the bullet and disappear from your life..."

'Dont say things like that!"

LuHan wraps his arms around me.

"I want to be with you. If you could forgive me..."

I feel a strength filling LuHan's arms.

"LuHan..."

I want to hate you...

I bury my face in his chest.

If I dont hate him, I guess there's nothing I can do about it.
 
I can only hate the fate that brought us here....

The fate that will lead me to killing you....

We get off the ship. LuHan is holding me in a way that is almost an embrace and we walk slowly .

"You're not cold?"

"No," I answered. "The breeze is refreshing."

"That's good..."

"I'm really sorry about tonight. I made you came all the way out here , only to have you nurse me till we could leave.."

"That's okay...I'm glad I could be with you when it happened."

"LuHan..."

"Or I.."

"Hmm?"

"Do you wish I wasnt here?"

I stopped walking. 

"Of coz not...I want to be with you too. I want another minute, or even just another second.." I tilt my head up and look at his face.
"You dont feel that way?"
 
Silent mode again.

"Do you wish that you and I hadnt started this?"

A shade of confusion appears in his eyes. "No.."

"If I've become a nuisance to you, you should tell me. I'm not blind, you know. You're different lately... You seem to be avoiding me. Your expression will suddenly become dark. If my presence is making you suffer. I want you to be honest and tell me."

The next day, I give Lay a call.

"Yoonie! Sorry, I'm late."

"That's okay, I'm the one who called you out of the blue."I said as I sipped the iced coffee.

"What are you talking about? You can always call."

"Thanks. You're wearing a suit, were you working today?"Noticing at his choice of clothes.

"Yeah. My schedule is at the mercy of the doctors. Holidays arent part of the equation."

"I see. Sounds tough."

The waitress came with a cup of cappucino for Lay.

"Meh, its nothing compared to what you do. With people's lives in your hands. My job is a piece of cake. So, what's up?"

"Hmm, oh right..."

"I mean, not that you need a reason to call me."

'I saw LuHan yesterday." I said seriously.

"Dr Lu?"

"In the poppy field."

"Oh." Lay shift his face downwards in embarrassment.

"You told him about it right?"

"Sorry."

"Its okay, I'm not angry. I was wondering how you got to talking about it?"

"Well..somehow, we got on the topic about you. And...."

"What else did you talk about?"

"I dont know... Listen.."

"Yes?"

"What do you think of Dr Lu?"

"Why do you ask that?"

'This is just a guess but I'm thinking he like you. And that's why he asked me...'

"Come on.."

"But look, normally, would he really ask personal questions about boring stuffs like that?"

"I said DROP IT!"

Lay looks at me with surprise.

"Sorry..."

"No, I'm sorry.."

"No, I was being insensitive. I'm really sorry."

"From now on, could you say that you dont know anything?"

'What do you mean?"

"Not just to LuHan but to anyone else who ask about me."

"Yoonie...?"

"I'm not the same old me. i've changed from Kim Jiyoon to Jeon Jiyoon. I've decided to throw everything away and start over.

Lay looks at my face.

"I dont want to be pulled back into the past anymore than I've already been."

"Okay..."

"Maybe I shouldnt say something like that ..."

"No, its okay. I understand."

"I'm truly happy to see you again . But...."

"All right already."

Lay smiles but he looks more like he's on the verge of crying.

'That's all I had to hear. I get it."

"Lay...."

Lay looks at his watch with an exaggerated gesture.

"Sorry, I actually have another appointment after this."

"Oh."

"Dr Jeon."

"?"

"I expect to be seeing you again sometime at the hospital. Until then"

"Alright."

"See ya."

Lay takes the check and stands up.

"Hey, leave that here."

"That's okay. I had a meeting with a doctor. My company will cover my tab."

"A meeting.."

"Its okay..I will keep my promise. As an old friend, and as a businessman."

"Lay..."

"So, I'll expect you'll keep your promise to me too."

"What promise?"

"Wow, you already forgot.."

"About when Dr Lu brings in the new equipment."

"Oh...our celebration. You got it. You have my word."

"Alright then."

Lay leaves, with a forced smile on his face.

I watched his back mocve away from me. It seems to be filled with loneliness.

I wanted him to keep quiet but I said really horrible things....

My path for revenge has casualities. This wasnt part of the plan.

Revenge....

My feet brings me to the statue of the Director.

I wish I only have him to hate.

"So, its the Director you're after..."

"What?"

Surprised, I turn around to see SeHun standing there.

"So that's how it is. I totally though you liked LuHan Hyung. But your heart is actually set on the father."

"Umm...what led you to that conclusion?"

Just now, you were looking at that thing with a melancholy look on your face. I never saw somebody look like that."

"I told you, you're mistaken. You think too much."

"Is that so? But I've pretty much never seen anyone pay attention to this statue. 
You're the first. I have no doubt about that."

SeHun nod to himself repeatedly.

"If I were to stand in front of Ronald Mcdonald statue, you must have think I cant live without McDonalds."

He wink at me.

"Is there anything I can to help you out with?"

"Sadly, no."

I leave SeHun there and started walking.

"Hey, wait a second."

He catches up to me. "Are you even supposed to work today?"

"No, actually. I happened to be in the area so I'd check in on some patients before going home."

"Passionate as ever.'

"Now that you mention it, arent you off today as well?"

"I'm on call, got the weekend shift."

"Then shouldnt you be getting back to work soon?"

'Yeay, yeah...The lady doctor here are all so strict."

What a weirdo. SeHun. Now, there's a worry-free man.

After making my rounds, I return to the office and LuHan was there.

"LuHan.."

LuHan looks surprised to see me and stuffs the file he was looking at in a desk drawer..

Wait, that file...

I'm sure its the same one he took from the Director's office..

"You came in today."

"I did. And you too, on a holiday."

"I relax best when I'm here."

"That sound like you."

"Scuuuuse me. What's this? LuHan Hyung, you too?"

"Yeah."

"Uh oh..."

"What is it?" LuHan asked.

"Ah, I was just coming to apologise to Jiyoon. I made her mad." Sehun holds out a small box in his hand. "I brought these little cakes. A patient gave them to me. But there's only two."

"I'm going home. You two enjoy."

"Really?"SeHun asked, a little surprise. "That doesnt seems right..."

But he shrugs it off. "Oh well, so Yoonie. Shall we?"

"I was just leaving too, actually."

"What?" SeHun look crestfallen.

He removes my coat like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Something falls out of my pocket.

"Huh? Its..."

SeHun picks up a sleeping pill. "This is...."

LuHan looks at SeHun's hand.

I hastily grab back the medicine.

"Its nothing,"I said. 

"There is something weird going on with you two,"SeHun says as he looked at us. "But this is LuHan Hyung's medicine right? Its the same one he's taking."

"W-What are you....you can get this pill anywhere,"I stutter.

"That's true but..."

"Are you having trouble sleeping?" LuHan asked with a sour face.

"Yes, recently."

SeHun sighs loudly."Okay guys...what is going on in Surgery? You're making me say this but as a physician, I'm very worried. Arent you all working too hard?"

I looked away.

"Physician, heal thyself? Under these circumstances, I'm not comfortable entrusting the lives of patients to you."

'You're right," LuHan agrees.

SeHun winks at us. "So, lets have the cake later and take a breather. Drinks?"

"Drinks?"I asked.

This guy.....

"Why not? Why not?" You two already said you were leaving right?"

"Yes, well,"LuHan said reluctantly.

"But you're on a call, arent..."

"Until six."

i looked at the clock on the wall and it just turned six.

"Okay, everybody needs to go and get changed."

"SeHun...." Eunjung calls out as she enters the office.

"Oh no!"

"So this is where you were. I take my eyes off you for a second and you're gone." Eunjung crosses her arms and stare daggers at him.

"But its six..."

"So, when did you start acting like this at work? Mr Kim Heechul's been screaming for his son."

"Well, I'm not his son."

"Like that matters. He thinks you're his son."

"What am I gonna do,"SeHun complains.

Eunjung smiles at us. Pulling his white coat with death grip, "I'll be taking this one away."

She's a force to be reckoned with...

"See you later,"I waved at them.

'Arent you going home too?" LuHan asked.

"I am, but..."

"I'll take you home then."

"In that case, do you want to stop somewhere for drinks? We might sleep better after that."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry, I shouldnt have suggested this,"I said when we arrived at the the posh restaurant.

"No, its fine."

Our wine were brought to us.

And we gently clincked our glasses together.

LuHan's mobile rang.

He excuses himself and left the table.

In front of me, remains the glass he's been drinking from.

I can put on the poison in this glass.

I draw the glass closer and take out the pill from my bag.

My fingers shake as I open the capsule.

"It is you!!"

Startled, the capsule tumbles onto the table.

White powder is scattered everywhere.

"Are you okay?"

The person peering in my face is Kris.

I hurry to copver the powder with my hands.

"Kris, what are you doing here?" I asked nervously.

He smiles, "Just meeting a friend. What a coincidence huh? Meeting like this."

"S-Sure is..."

Why at a time like this...go away please....

Well, I should make my disappearance before your date returns.."

"Right, see you later."

Yikes...But it seems like he didnt see anything. Thank goodness.

I use my hand to gather the powder.

I reach for the capsule when yet another hand grabs my own.

LuHan....

"What is this?"

I was speechless.

He touches a hand to the powder on the table and then look at the glass that's now unnaturally close to me.

Does ghe know....?

"Why were you doing something so dangerous?'he asked angrily. "You cant take sleeping pills with alcohol!"

Phew.... OMG, my heart nearly stops at being caught in the act.

"Y-yeah, you're right."

"Sorry but I have to go back to the hospital. You should go home and rest."

"Yeah, I will.."

The morning after the long weekend.

'Did you sleep?" LuHan asked when we saw each other down the hallway.

"Yeah."

"With medicine?"

"I just ran out."

LuHan takes an unopened bottle of pills from his pocket. "Then use this. But you have to follow the recommended usage and amounts."

"Okay,"

I figured his guard would be up after yesterday but I guess not...

Giving me these pills, its as if he's telling me to poison him...

Waiting in line in the cafeteria, I take out the medicine given to me by LuHan.

He wouldnt have given me this if he understood what I was doing then.....

A piece of paper falls to the ground as somebody ahead of me in line takes out cash out of his wallet.

"Umm, excuse me."

Without thinking, I pick it up.

Its just a receipt....

Hey, 0852...its Busan zip code.

I look at it more carefully and see the words "Hana Flowers,"

This florist is near where my mother is buried.....

"Sorry..."

Somebody takes thereceipt from me. Startled, I look up..

In front of me is LuHan.....