"Mm...."LuHan stirred in his sleep.

Another nightmare. It looks like he's suffering....

"Mmnn."

He gave up the sleeping pill once, he started again after he saw my mother's photo that day.

Has he been suffering all this while because of what happened to her?

For 12 years...

LuHan gasp and open his eyes.

I retract my extended hand.

"Its you...."

"I'm sorry, I didnt mean to wake you up."

"Its alright," he says as he sat upright.

"I was in the office and heard a voice. It sounded like it was in pain."

"Oh yeah..."

"Are you okay. You were having a terrible dream...."

LuHan didnt answer. He stared at the wall in front.

"And..." I take his pill case in my hand.

"I thought you didnt need these anymore..."

Silence....

"Did something happen?"

Silence... 

"if something's bothering you, I want you to talk to me...."

"It has nothing to do with you!" He snapped.

"No....You're right," I said, hurt by his tone. "I'm sorry, I shouldnt have said anything."

Slam!

That didnt go well

My heart is still pounding. 

I might not have such chance again.

In my head, I know what's right but when I look at his face....

"Huh? Jiyoon."

"Good morning Kris."

"You're early... Were you on call?" 

Kris looks at the whiteboard, confused. 

"No, I wasnt. There's a patient I'm worried about, I came to check up on him."

Kris smiles. "Is that right? That's something Xiao Lu would do too."

"Please...I'm match for LuHan."

"Its nothing to be modest about."

Slam!

"Opps..Looks like we woke up the doctor."

Kris headed to the on call room and I took the opportunity to leave the office.

I sat down on  bench on the courtyard and take deep breath.

I take out the poison capsule from my pocket and stares at it.

I've come this far. Am I really hesitating now?

Can I really let my plan, 12 years in the making, to go down in vain?

Just because I am overtaken bu a temporary emotion?

I squeezed my hand tightly around the capsule.

I have to do it. The next chance I get.

He'll be on call again, ine week from now...

As long as I didnt make hi  suspicious of me.

I'm going to run out of chances if I keep making mistakes. He'll put his guard up.

I should think of a back up plan....

"Jiyoon."

My train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by Kris.

"I thought you disappeared but here you are."

"Sorry, do you need something?"

"Need is a strong word...Lately, you often seem lost in thoughts. I'm just worried 

"I'm sorry."

"Are things not going on well with Xiao Lu?"

"W-were fine."

"Oh really...," he said, unconvinced.."You understand what I'm getting at, right?"

"I...."

Kris knows about us....

"Lately Xiao Lu has been asking various things about you."

What?

"Xiao Lu never showed that kind of interest in a colleague before. It's amazing really."

You're wrong....He is only trying to figure out whether my mother is Kim Ok Bin.....

"I think you're misreading him..."

"Its fine. Whatever the reason is. Its great when Xiao Lu thinks highly of another human being."

"You say 'whatever the reason' but....I want him to acknowledge me as a doctor."

"Of coz, it's Xiao Lu that we are talking about. He would never be interested in someone just because she has a pretty face. He's attracted to you precisely because of your abilities as a doctor."

"..."

"I'm sure you can be confident of that."

Could Kris knowing about my relationship with LuHan be an advantage to me?

"Well! Look what we have here."

"Eunjung...that lipstick looks fantastic on you,"Kris remarked.

"Thank you. Thats just like you to notice it. Its a new color. I bought it yesterday. Its worth having a guy like this on hand," Eunjung said brightly.

"Don't you agree Jiyoon?"

"I'm a little clueless when it comes to fashion, so...."

"Come on, thats simply not true."

"So why were you here?" Kris asked.

"Oh right. Well...." 

Eunjung holds out a patient's chart.  

"This chart belongs to a patient who I checked out for LuHan. Could you pass it to him?"

"Of coz. Life leave it to me."

"THANK YOU! Well...see you later."

Kris passes it to me. "Could you do it?"

"Why me?"

Kris gave me a gentle smile.

"Like yourself, Xiao Lu also appears to be lost un thought these days. Please be nice and bring him back to his usual self."

"But, but ....I"

"XiaoLu is a popular guy but he is not good at these things. Why dont you just think of it for the sake of your work. And please, be gentle..."

"......"

We parted ways in front of the Director's office before I return to our office.

LuHan had already began working at his desk.

"LuHan,"I calls out.

"Yeah," he said without looking up at me.

I put th chart on his table. 

"This is from Eunjung, from Internal Medicine."

"Ah, thanks."

He took the chart away and continues reading.

Its just the two of us but he's all business..He's acting strange.

He finally look up at me. "Is there something else?"

"No, but....Its just that you look a little pale."

 "You think so?"

"You haven't been sleeping much,haven't you?"

"......"

"Did you have breakfast yet?"

"Not yet."

"Why dont we go together?"

"No....its okay."

"But you might feel better if you eat something..."

"I already told you, I dont need anything!"

I was surprise at the unexpected harness in his voice.

"Sorry," he said, looking regret.

"No...I'm sorry."

Its uncomfortable. I try to leave."

"Jiyoon," he calls out.

I stopped in my tracks.

"Could you tell me something? Why did you cry that day?"

I remembered the night when we went to the park on the hill.

I turn around and faced him.

"I was so happy....that it scares me."

"Oh..."

"You never felt that way?"

"....."

"Tears are funny. They're there when you're happy and when you're sad..."

"...."

Its because you're so nice...

You're my enemy, I should hate you. But....I just can't.

I thought LuHan would ask about my mother. I suppose he wouldnt ask me did directly though, wouldnt he?

"Good morning, Dr Jeon," Jihyun greets me.

"Morning. Its still a little early but shall we get started on our rounds?"

"Let's go. I'll get everything ready."

Suddenly, Gayoon came to us, panting hard.

"Dr Jeon! Nurse Jihyun!"

"Whats wrong?"

"Do you know where Dr Lu is?"

"He's on call last night. Probably still sleeping?" Jihyun answered.

"He's not anywhere. I tried calling him too...?"

Whats going on with him?

"He's scheduled for examinations this morning. What are we gonna do....?" Gayoon said helplessly.

"He must have forgotten and went home..?" Jihyun guessed.

"We're talking about LuHan here. I dont think he would do that..."

"Me neither," Gayoon agrees.

Could he be....?

"I'll take a look around." 

Creak....

I look up at the emergency stairwell, like I always do.

But he's not there.

I was sure he would be here....

Where could he have gone to?

Lastly, I went to the Director's office.

Click..

I saw him leaving his father's office.

"LuHan." I rush over to him.

He looks surprised and holds the file in his hand, behind his back.

"We were looking for you. The nurses couldn't reach you. I was wondering what happened."

LuHan fumbles around his pockets.

"Sorry, I left something on the desk."

Something is up.....

"Did they need me somewhere?"

"You have examinations to perform but werent around. Everyone's looking for you."

He seems to recall now.

"The outpatients...that's right."

He looks at this watch and starts walking faster.

"So it happens to you too,huh? Forgetting about work?" I teased. 

He didnt reply.

"I tried looking for you in your usual spot."

"I'm sorry."

"Thats okay... Being you. I'm sure you were thinking about some difficult surgery."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Is that whats the file for?"

"Huh?"

There was a stern look on his face.

"I just.... I thought you might have some documents about a new operation.....

"No, this is different."

"I'm going to see the patients now. Please tell that to everyone in Surgery."

"Okay."

LuHan is sure not to make eye contact with me as he leaves.

He ran away..

I watch sadly as LuHan grows more distant.

I thought it hurt when he was nice to me, but it hurts to when he's cold too...

"And we're all finished! Thank you, Doctor."

"Thank you for your hard work Nurse Jihyun."

Gayoon went up to us. 

"Thanks for helping to find Dr Lu earlier."

"I'm just glad that the patients didn't have to wait too long."

"So where was he?"Jihyun asked curiously.

"He was leaving the Director's office. I guess the Director called him in."

"What? But the Director is in Jeju..."Gayoon provided.

"Oh well, maybe he was called in by Kris."

"Cant be,"Jihyun said. "He left a long time ago for a lecture at a university."

Then what was LuHan doing there by himself?

He did have a file in his hand...maybe he was there looking for it.

"I wonder whats going on with him?"Gayoon said. "Lately, I often catch him staring off into space."

"I know, me too!…I was talking to him about a patient and it was like he wasn't even listening. Totally unlike him."

Gayoon turns to me. "You too Dr Jeon. Lately..."

"I'm sorry..."

"I didnt mean it like that. I just think that everyone's tired. I'm worried that you're all working too hard."

"Thanks. I'll be alright though."

"Oh hey, I'm giving you this,so go!"

She takes out two tickets from her pocket and hands them to me."

"Dinner cruise tickets...?"

 "A patient just gave it to me because they'll expire soon."

"Oh..I know that one! Its really popular, hard to get tickets," Jihyun gushed.

"Why dont you two go?" I suggest.

"Its sad for two girls to go on a dinner cruise together,"Gayoon laments.

 "It is...."Jihyun agrees. 

"So take a boyfriend along?"

"If I had one, I wouldnt be giving you the tickets. So here."

"But...its not as though I have anyone to invite...."

"Then ask Dr Lu," Jihyun suggested.

"What?"

"That's right. If it would cheer you two up. There could be nothing better for this department."

I dont know if he'll accept if I did invite him.

But if I just did nothing, I'm sure our relationship will become even more of a mess.

I clearly have to do something, but....

I went back to the office. 

My timing is good. LuHan is the only one there.

I have a long weekend starting tomorrow. I suppose I'll give it a shot.

I decided to talk to him about it and walk toward his desk.

His mobile rang.

"Yes, okay."

LuHan hangs up and stands, when he seems to finally realize I'm there."

"What..?"

"Oh, its nothing...."

"Okay,"

He leaves.

I'm trying to do something that's a very couples thing to do.

Even though all I have to do is relax and invite him.

When I wonder what he's thinking, I freeze.

The first dat of the long weekend.

I decided to visit a field of flowers that my mother liked.

The last time I came, was a few months before she was hospitalized ...

I sit down, surrounded by flowers.

And I remembered what my mother was like then, looking happy.

She picked up so many poppies that she couldn't even hold them with both hands.

We took a picture as a souvenir... Which I accidentally let him see.

Its after that, that everything becomes awkward...

Surrounded by the flower's scent, I can feel the stress slowly leaving my body.

Maybe I've been too impatient.

Even if he knows the truth, he cant know that I know the truth about what truly happened.

But then why would he be so nervous?

 Feeling refreshed, I stand up. 

And I see somebody unexpected standing in the field.

"LuHan...?"

"This is a surprise," he said softly.

"Likewise."

Never in my wildest dream that I would find him here.

"What are you doing here...?"

"I asked Mr Zhao some things. He told me about this place, that you like it."

So thats why Lay seems like he was hiding something that day.

"Why did you ask him about something like that?"

"I wanted you and I to come together," he said shyly. "To this place."

I rest my head on his chest. 

"I thought you started to hate me..."

"I don't hate you. But you..."

"Don't say it...."

"Jiyoon..."

"I dont care ...Just as long as you like me. So...."

He gently puts an arm around my shoulder.

But somehow...the feeling is awkward.

That night, we went to the dinner cruise.

"Wow...its beautiful,"I said happily.

"You look happy," he commented.

"Well, I've never done something so classicallg couple-like before."

"I know what you mean."

"We should have fun here. So buck up and look happy!"

"Yeah, okay...."

"Look, we are close to the Rainbow bridge!"

I act exceptionally cheerful.

But wait, am I actually enjoying this?

No,no. I just dont want him ro become suspicious. i cant let him see what I'm really here for.

I need him to think that I just happened to be transferred to Seoul General Hospital.

That I just happened to fall for him.

Then even if he realizes that I'm the daughter of a patient that he lost due to his error, I can recover the situation....

I keep trying to persuade myself of this. Its making me dizzy.

Whats wrong with me? I feel strange..."

"Sorry, I have to go to the ladies."

I stood up from my seat and my vision instantly goes blurry.

LuHan, surprised, reaches out his hand.

A second later, all I can see.is darkness.......