The next day Sina froze in front of her front door when she saw Niel standing there waiting for her. She quickly checked her phone to see if he sent a message, but he didn’t. She didn’t expect this. She thought it would be Yoomi and Yuri who picked her up since their message last night. She hadn’t prepared her heart for this. She thought of running away, but it would be really awkward if she did that. So she breathed in to calm her racing heart and opened the door.

She was quickly greeted with Niel’s smile. She smiled back, tried to be as casual as possible. If Niel could act normally, why couldn’t she? So she endured her throbbing heart and talked casually.

“I thought Yoomi will be the one who pick me,” she said.

“Yoomi noona… she’s with Minsoo hyung,” Niel replied.

He didn’t lie. She really was with Minsoo and the others, watching them from afar. Yesterday they planned this and another strategies to help Niel.

They walked together to school, feeling awkward more than ever. Sina kept flinching whenever their hands accidentally brushed against each other. She felt more desperate. Her heart, she had to calm her heart. Never once since last night she stopped thinking about the kiss. Why did he do that? Didn’t he say he like someone in his class? But why did he keep doing sweet things to her?

This hurt her heart, but she couldn’t be the one who threw tantrum at him. It wasn’t his fault for being nice to her—and to everyone. She should be the one who knew her position and reminded herself to make a line. It wasn’t easy. She had to be reminded over and over not to fall deeper.

This condition went on for days. Every morning Niel would pick her up from her house and walked together to school. Although feeling a bit uncomfortable, as Sina felt Niel was just playing with her heart, she said nothing. She wanted to tell her friends, but as final exam approaching, she couldn’t bother them with such trivial thing. She couldn’t tell Byunghun or Chanhee either, who would guarantee her story won’t be directed to Niel?  

They still spent their lunch break and after school together, but it seemed Niel tried to always stay by her side. Changhyun and Jonghyun didn’t stick with her as much as they would. This made her happy, but she felt pain as well. She always remembered that Niel liked somebody else, and might only think of her as a sister and because he felt bad for the bullying which happened to her.

The bullying didn’t actually stop. Sometimes, she still found notes in her locker—which she simply ignored. But it didn’t happen as much as it used to be. Maybe because the story of her punching someone had spread at school. The result? Some judged her of being so violent, some thought she did the right thing. Whatever people said, she was satisfied with what she did. Sometimes, some juniors would approach her, telling her to stay away from Niel. She simply just scoffed and left them. She’s hurt enough without adding her pain with dealing such problems as these.

Going for days, Sina finally felt really uncomfortable with Niel’s attitude. She’s trying to forget her love, but how could she did that if Niel kept pushing himself towards her. Not to mention her friends’ attitude who deliberately left them alone when they gathered.

And Niel always sent messages to her, simply greeting her, reminding her to take care and eat properly. If she wasn’t in the position ‘loving-someone-who-always-text-you-but-he-love-somebody-else’ she would be happy receiving these messages. Since she was in that ‘condition’, how else she should react except feeling more desperate??

That day was the last of the exam day and they agreed on gathering in a café near their school. The girls headed there first and found the café was full of their schoolmates. The boys would catch up later as they had something else to do.

As they took off their coat, Yoomi, Yuri, and Sina sat down one table, asking the waiter to line one more table for the boys. Sina asked Yuri to sit beside her, but she chose a seat in front of Sina. See? Her friends acted weird too. After ordering three servings of parfait, Sina bent forward, wishing to talk.

“Don’t you think Niel is acting weird these days?” Sina said.

Yoomi and Yuri looked at each other but bent forward as well. They knew Sina didn’t want to be heard by others in the café.

“What do you mean weird?” asked Yoomi. She gave idea of everything Niel should do, and thought of those actions as sweet, not weird.

“He… picked me up every morning, texted me every day, always talked to me, and so on and so on. That’s weird right?”

“Isn’t that supposed to be sweet?” exclaimed Yuri, not understanding Sina’s mindset. “It would be great if Byunghun did the same thing to me.”

Sina rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sweet. If only Niel wasn’t in love with somebody else.”

Yoomi and Yuri couldn’t contain their surprise. This was the first time they heard about this. Niel never mentioned this before. “He did?!” she shrieked.

Sina grabbed Yoomi’s hand to hush her. “Not so loud!”

“This is the first time I heard this. I thought…”

Yuri kicked Yoomi’s feet and glared at her. “We thought he’s still that innocent little boy,” she quickly added.

“Well… you guys remember that day I got into a fight?” Yoomi and Yuri nodded. “That day, I asked Niel why he avoided me. And he said… we should… keep some distance because he didn’t want someone in his class misunderstand our position. But now this? All this? I don’t understand him.”

Yuri glanced at Yoomi. She didn’t know what to say. Niel said nothing about this to them. How should they respond?

“Maybe you misunderstand his sentence? He… uhh… how to put it…”

“What about you, Sina? Do you still like him?” Yoomi interrupted, seeing no point of continuing what they didn’t know.

Sina blushed, but she put up sour expression. “I don’t know. I tried to… forget him. But he… did this…. I don’t know.”

“Why should you forget him?”

Sina looked at her friends in disbelief. “You guys think I can keep loving someone who will never look at me?”

Yoomi quickly answered, matter-of-factly. “Yuri could.”

Yuri elbowed her friend. “Ya!”

“But you did, eonni,” Sina said, adding ‘eonni’ with annoying tone of voice.

Their friends started to annoy here, before she started yelling, she said, “Ya! Stop talking about me! We’re currently talking about Sina and Niel right now.”

Remembering her main task, Yoomi turned to Sina, “So, what will you do?”

“What will I do? I don’t know. Can you guys say something to Niel to stop doing this…?”

“Why should we do that? You can say that directly to him,” Yuri cut off her words, still feeling offended with Sina’s sentence before.

Sina thought of Niel’s eyes if she said it directly to him. He would look at her with that hurtful look. Those eyes would lose its sparkle. He wouldn’t smile at her again. No. No. She couldn’t do that. It’s better to swallow all the pain for his attention rather than losing that smile and eye. No.

Yoomi and Yuri looked at each other. They felt lost. They didn’t understand the condition they were facing right now. Niel liked someone else? Then why did he… they clearly lost. But they knew one thing, Sina still kept her love for Niel. That was for sure. They could see her eyes whenever she looked at Niel. They could see she diverted her attention off Niel to keep herself from pain. They sighed.

“Park Yoomi,” suddenly someone called.

Yoomi, Yuri, and Sina looked up. A young man—wearing the same uniform as them—standing next to their table, smiled brightly at them with flushed cheeks. Yoomi looked at him wonderingly.

“Oh? Kang Jaewon ah. What are you doing here?” she said. He’s her classmate.

“I’m with my friends there. Do you guys want to join us?” he said, pointing at his friends who waved their hands happily. Yuri and Sina nodded awkwardly at them.

Yoomi waved. “No, thank you. Our friends will be here in a minute. Thank you for offering, anyway.”

He looked a bit disappointed. “Oh, okay then.” He turned.

The girls were about to have their secret conversation before he turned his back again.

“Umm…. Can I have a talk with your friend?” he asked.

Yoomi rounded her eyes, while Yuri and Sina looked at each other. “Of course, go ahead. You don’t need my permission to do that.”

Jaewon looked at Sina with a smile. “Moon Sina ssi, can we talk in private?”

Sina pointed at herself, a bit taken aback. “Oh? Me?” She looked at her friends with puzzling look. Yoomi and Yuri shrugged, not knowing what happened. She didn’t want to be rude, so she stood up and nodded. “Alright, I guess.”

Jaewon brought her to an empty table not far from their table. Sina sat there, waiting for him to say something while raising her eyebrow. What’s this all about? Did he have something to do with the girls the other day?

“Moon Sina ssi, can we speak informally?” he said, looking straight at Sina’s eyes.

“Of course. It doesn’t matter,” Sina replied casually.

“This is maybe a bit weird for you, but… I’ve been… watching.” He paused, touching his neck nervously. “You might not know about me, but I think I like you. Do you want to go out with me?”

Sina had to force herself not to move her seat backward as it really surprised her. She blinked couple of times, not sure of how to react. Jaewon’s question echoed in her mind, but she couldn’t seem to grasp what it meant.

Yoomi and Yuri—who sat not far from them—also heard this. Both rounded their eyes and looked at each other in horror. They didn’t expect this coming. And they didn’t know what would Sina answer to Jaewon.

They remembered, I want to forget Niel, so as Sina said.