Hyukjae’s POV

The baby had fallen asleep in Amber’s arms and seemed to take comfort in the woman. I looked up to see Donghae’s perplexed expression as he stared down at the baby.

Suddenly he looked at me and I looked away. Did he see me staring? Hyukjae, you need to be more careful.

“We need to go shopping” I looked back at him eyebrows raised.

The baby needs a proper place to sleep. Of course the baby, his baby. What a caring father he made.  Nodding I stood up.

“Leave the baby with me, I’ll look after him till you guys get back.” I smiled at Amber in response and followed Donghae out.

“Will she be okay?” I asked once we stepped out of the apartment.

“Yeah, Amber loves kids, she’s always taking care of our brothers kids.” I nodded, it was odd, it usually tool me forever to trust anyone but here I was trusting two almost strangers with something as precious as a baby.

“Tell me about yourself”

What? What did he want to know? What do I say?

“Well... what do you want to know?”

“ I dunno, random stuff, job? Family? Girlfriend?...” he trailed off.

“Uh, well, I’m a dancer.” Donghae looked at me shocked. “As in Ballet and stuff?”

I shook my head. “Not exactly, I’m a choreographer, studied performing arts at university and got scouted in my last year. My main styles are hip hop and Latin. I know they’re both so different. But they’re my favourite.”

Donghae looked impressed, “Do you know traditional Korean dancing?”

Feeling impulsive I began swaying my arm and threw my head back.  Donghae burst out laughing “You look like Mrs. Kim in the ending scene of Mother! You know when she’s in the field!”

Ahhh~ how embarrassing. I pushed his arm, trying to stop him from laughing. Big mistake. Donghae was only wearing a shirt and I could feel the muscles on his arm and how they tensed at my touch. Crap! Donghae was possibly homophobic. I quickly dropped my hand and continued walking.

After a moment of silence I spoke “Mum raised us by herself after Dad left. Me and Jessica. Jess is older than me by only 1 year and we practically raised each other. After Dad left mum tried to replace him. She kind of forgot us and tried to go back to the days where she was the hottest person in the room. She brought home the creepiest guys. Jess and I used to lock our bedroom door and place a chair in front of it. Every night. Every time a guy got sick of my mother and left she blamed us. We were the reason no one stuck around. She told us no one wanted us not even our own father. She told us she was all we had and she was the only person who would ever love us. And I believed her, I did for such a long time.

I left.

 As soon as I possibly could. When the opportunity arrived I grabbed it. I received a scholarship to study at Seoul National University and I took it. Without a backward glance. I left home, I left mum but I also left Jessica.  She wasn’t the smartest cookie at school so she dropped out to work. We kept in contact but we were hardly as close as we used to be. I thought she was fine because I thought she was happy. Little did I know she was still trapped under mums assessments of us. She felt the need to prove to the world that she was loved. First she just had many boyfriends but then she began sleeping around. I took a totally different approach to our mothers criticism. I felt as though no one would ever love me. It was something I had come to accept, if my own mother had said it then who was I to question the truth of it?”

I glanced over at Donghae and he looked at me with sad eyes.

I chuckled “So clearly I’m not too close with my family.”

He nodded, “You’re a dancer, you’re not on great terms with your family, any one special in your life?”

 Siwon I thought.

But was he really? I’d told Donghae more about myself than I’d ever told Siwon. Why did Donghae has this effect on me?

I looked at Donghae, should I tell him I’m gay? Would that make him uncomfortable? I’d rather get it out of the way if it did.

“Donghae” I began, “I don’t want know if this will creep you out or not but I think you should know.”

He shifted his head to the side “What is it?”

“I’m gay.”