Na-eun woke up with tears flowing on her cheeks. She was breathless and wet from her own perspiration. The nightmares which hunt her for years is becoming more often. A knock that came from her door made her wipe her tears and act like nothing happened. Her unnie, Eunji, peek through the door with a worried expression.

“Na-eun, are you ok?”

“Yes Unnie, I'm ok.”

“The same nightmare again? You can tell me if you want.”

“I’m really ok unnie. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m use to it.”

“Not because you’re use to it, it doesn’t mean you’re ok. But if you’re not ready to tell me, I understand. Go back to sleep. It’s still early.”

She glanced at the clock and lay down on her bed.  As she closed her eyes, the memories flashed in her mind. She let those memories engulf her for the first time in how many years.

FLASHBACK

I was sitting on the bench waiting for Lee Taemin, my childhood friend, best friend, and first love. I want to confess to him today and tell him that on the 16 years that we’ve known each other, I fell in love with him, that my heart only beats for him.

“Na-eun~, I wanted to meet you as well. It’s a good thing you called me.”

“Oh is that so? Why did you want to meet me anyway?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frHErpfKBGQ

“I have something important to tell you. I feel guilty hiding this to you but I realized that you have the right to know cause you are my best friend.”

“I also want to tell you something but you go first.”

“No, you go first.”

“You first please?”

“Fine, here it goes. Sulliimycurrentgirlfriend.”

“What?”

“I said Sulli is my current girlfriend.”

My mind went blank and I was speechless. Sulli has been my best friend for 5 years. We’ve been together since I was 11 but why her?

“Aren’t you happy for me? Yah, Na-eun. Is there something wrong?”

“No, that’s not it. I’m happy for you I was just shock to hear it. I didn’t know you courted her.”

I tried my best to fake a smile. My vision started to get blurred but I push my tears away. I didn’t want him to see me like this.I don't want to ruin our friendship.

“Sorry, I thought you might tell her that I have feelings for her so I didn’t tell you and i didn't want you to feel awkward around me and Sulli."

“No, it’s ok. Ahmm, I have to go Taemin. Eomma is waiting for me. See you around, chi.”

As I turned back, my tears fell from my eyes and my heart felt so crashed.

“Take care on your way home.”

He shouted and I just raise my hand to bid him goodbye. I run as fast to go home because I wan't eomma to hug me and say that everything is alright. I wanted her to smile at me and tickle me until I'll forget about what Taemin told me but when I arrived home, another scene welcomed me. Eomma was crying while pulling her suit case and appa was trying to stop her from going. Eomma stopped as soon as she saw me. I saw Eunji unnie crying behind appa.

“Eomma, where are you going?I have something to tell you.”

“Eomma doesn't have time today Naeun. Listen to me Princess. I wish you won’t hate you’re eomma. I love you so much my princess but  eomma wants to be free.”

“What do you mean? Appa, what is happening?”

“You’re already 16 years old. One day you’ll understand everything.”

Eomma pulled her suit case and rode an unfamiliar car. I saw a glimpse of a man on the driver’s seat that held my eomma’s hand.

“Eomma! Eomma!”

I ran after the car. The thought of my eomma leaving still hasn't sink in in me. Appa pulled me to him and hugged me.

“Enough Na-eun, you’re eomma doesn’t love me anymore that’s why she left.”

“Na-eun, unnie’s here. Stop crying please. I won’t stop crying unless you stop. Do you want unnie to continue crying?”

I let go of appa and hugged her and we both cried harder. I saw my appa crying. He looks devastated. I know what he feels because the person that I love also turned his back from me but what he’s feeling right now seems worse than what I’m feeling. This day I started to believe that happy ever after does not exist.

End of flashback

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