To Dara:
Where are you?
9:24 PM
To Dara:
Please text me as soon as you’re free, I want to see you.
9:32 PM
To Dara:
I’m at YG’s rooftop, meet me here?
9:33 PM
To Dara:
Text me
9:50 PM
From Dara:
How much time do you have?
10:01 PM
To Dara:
The whole night. Can we meet?
10:02 PM
From Dara:
Wait half an hour
10:02 PM
To Dara:
See you soon
10:02 PM
Scary right? Jiyong couldn't beleive the two has come to this point in their relationship. Since the two were busy, he didn't expect a situation like this to appear. He didn't expect their busy schedule would consume them, no him, to this point.
Jiyong held onto the rails until his knuckles turned white as he took the scenary surround him. Soeul looked so at ease to him. The citizens walking or driving to their destination didn't know how Jiyong felt. They didn't feel the tension and gnawing of his heart he felt. Even his jam packed schedule couldn't ease his pain.
A few days ago...
"No. You're not." Yongbae growled, "When was the last time you checked your phone? When was the last time we saw Dara? When was the last time you've spent some time with her alone? Do you even remember who Dara is?!"
"Of course I know who Dara is!" Jiyong hissed. This is his girlfriend! How would he just forget?!
"Are you sure about that?! Sure she's the girl that's labeled you're secret girlfriend." Yongbae scoffed,"Tell me, what's her favorite color? What's her favorite song in Big Bang? What her favorite food? Hell, when is her birthday Jiyong?!"
"Her-" Jiyong froze. He...didn't know. . Jiyong looked away from Yongbae and clenched his fists. . He really didn't know. They haven't spent that much time with each other to get to know each other's likes and dislikes.
Yongbae let out a mocking laugh,"So you don't know, huh? Tell me, when was the last time you two talked to each other? Hm? An acutal conversation-not that two minutes bull excuse of a comversation. Four months ago? Five?"
"What are you trying to get at Bae?" Jiyong glared. Yongbae isn't like this. He has a reason for this.
Yongbae exhaled harshly, never breaking eye contact from his best friend. He didn't like acting this way, but Jiyong really needed to open his eyes before he lost her. Yongbae swallowed.
"Ji, you need to realize...how lucky you are you have her. If you keep ignoring her, keep accepting and not giving, you're done. I really like her..." Jiyong froze "...for you that is." Yongbae grinned at Jiyong's panick state.
"YAH, That's not funny!" Jiyong bellowed. He had so many thoughts in his head when those words left Yongbae's lips.
"I don't like her that way Ji," Yongbae shook his head at him, "Just think about what I said okay? If you like her to this point...just think about it Ji."
Yongbae patted his shoulder. He left, leaving Jiyong alone to consider his best friend's words.
He hasn't been talking to Dara. He hasn't been giving her attention that he's suppose to be giving her. What is her favorite color? Food? Hobby? What pisses her off? Calms her down? What about her family? She never said anything about herself. Only 2ne1 this, Big Bang that. What's her birthday??
Yongbae was right. Anger blazed within him. He didn't know his girlfriend. He didn't know who Dara was. Jiyong clenched his fist. He didn't like it one bit.
He had all the chances to ask her and all the chances to meet up with her, despite his schedule. If he truly commited himself to their relationship, he would've made him for her, but he didn't. He just worked, worked, and worked. She must have felt neglected. He thought back of all the variety shows he appeared on, describing his ideal girl that was completely different from Dara.
Jiyong raised his fist and slammed it at the closest object near him, the wall. He was furious. Furious at himself.
"How am I so stupid?!" Jiyong pounded against the wall. Jiyong growled.
I messed up.
~
He's covered in cold sweat. His hands were clammy and sweaty.
As promised, Dara arrived at the rooftop half an hour later; however, Jiyong was not where to be found.
"Jiyong...?" Dara called for him hesitantly. Some part of her needed to see him here. She couldn't handle another disappointment from Jiyong. At the corner of her eye, Dara noticed a movement. Looking at it, Dara's worries dissipated. Jiyong was there, sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, asleep. His head bobbled back and forth, his eyes drooped but widen a fraction at the motion, like he's trying staying awake but failing horribly. A part of her died when she saw his zombie like stature.
But, they needed to talk. If he wanted to met up, this was her only chance to tell him her part.
Her heart dropped at thoughts she's been having lately. Dara began to feel suffocated. They were out on the rooftop alone, yet she felt as if she was trapped in a closet. Dara let out a shaky breathe. It's for the best.
"Jiyong." Dara called him.
Dara watched him jump a bit, awaken by her call. He blinked a few minutes before he noticed her.
"Dara" Jiyong stood up. Dara felt a pant at her heart. Dara. Not babe, not baby, not baby girl. Just Dara.
"I-" Jiyong took a step towards her only to have her take a step back. He halted. There was a large gap between them yet it felt like miles were between them.
It was their first time in months seeing each other. This isn't how it should be. There shouldn't be a gap. There shouldn't be a eerie silence between them. No. This isn't right. In his eyes, Dara looked so tired. She's was clad in practice attire but that's not why she looked tired. No. It was her eyes. The usual gleam was gone, now dull. Now, it only expressed weariness and pain, something Jiyong doesn't want to see. Ever.
"Did you call me here to stare at me Jiyong? Because if you did, you don't have time to do that. Go rest. You have a really early schedule tomorrow." Dara said exasperatedly.
Without waiting for his reply, Dara headed towards the door.
"No, we need to talk Dara." Jiyong caught her wrist before she could leave the rooftop. Dara stopped. Lightly she took Jiyong's hand off her wrist.
"Talk." Dara leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.
"I'm sorry." Jiyong blurted out,"I'm sorry I haven't given you the proper attention I should be giving you. I've been a pathetic boyfriend for the last few months. I just realized it a few days ago, that I've been ignoring you unconsciously," Jiyong winced at his choice of words,"And I wanted to apologize to you before anything worse would come up between us. I-"
"Jiyong." Jiyong froze. The way she said his name. No...
"It's... Not working out Jiyong." No
"Why don't we just go back to being just YG producers?" No
"Our schedules clashes, you're obviously too busy to make time for me. Let's just-"
"No." Jiyong whispered.
"Why not?" Dara whispered back,"Do you think I like how this relationship has been for the past few months?"
Her voice rose,"Do you think I like it when I see you flirting with other celebrities on variety shows? But yet I have to" Dara chuckled bitterly "after all, that's the only time i get to see you. I mean, whenever I do see you, you're asleep."
"And even if I have the heart to forget that," Dara swallowed, "You seem to be fine without a relationship, Jiyong. I mean, you don't care about us. It's December, Ji. We've been together for seven months yet I barely saw you for a full two months. Hell, you forgot my birthday Jiyong. Or wait." Dara paused bitterly,"you don't know my birthday huh?"
Dara was raging now. She had let so many things that bothered her slip by just because he was busy. No, that didn't work on her now.
"Dara-"
"Don't Dara me. Why didn't you respond to my texts or calls?!" Dara hissed, "Not knowing my birthday, I get it. We didn't talk much. But not responding at all?! Why keep this pathetic excuse of a relationship Kwon Jiyong?!" Dara cried.
"I'm tired of this Jiyong! I can't handle it anymore. I told you I'll give you a chance! And this is what I get?" Dara exhaled.
"I can't, I just. Jiyong, you didn't hold up your part of the bargain.
"Dara please, let me explain." Jiyong pleaded.
"Fine." Dara bit out,"explain. What more can you explain, hm? You've basically told me everything. You forgot about me and us. You were too into your work and music. What else Jiyong?" Dara knew she was acting like a but...she couldn't help it. He brought out the worse of her.
"I'm sorry," Jiyong swallowed,"and I know a small sorry wont suffice. I'm a jerk for ignoring you. I'm an idiot for taking your for granted. I'm stupid for not responding to you. I'm horrible for not keeping up my part of the relationship. But"
Jiyong stared deep into her eyes "I'm not crazy to let this go. I'm not letting us go that easily."
Jiyong took her hand into his. At his touch, Dara immediately wanted him away from her and wiggled his hold on her. However, his grip on her was too strong. Dara bit her lip nervously.
"Dara-ah, it still there. I know you feel it too. That connection we have. It's still there." Dara looked away, unable to meet his eyes. Oh she knew it of course. She felt it the second she saw him. The relief and spark that he was still there? Definitely still there.
"We both know its there and still strong. I'm not crazy enough to let that go. I'm not letting you go. Ever. Unless you tell me it's gone. I don't want to lose it, Babe" Jiyong said firmly. It's Babe now, Dara noticed her nickname was out now.
"I don't want to let this go, I don't want to lose you, Babe..." Jiyong whispered. Dara didn't know how it happened but Jiyong was inches away from her. Their eyes met and it was all Jiyong needed. He can see it in her eyes. She felt the same way. She didn't want to end it, but her mind was telling her to. Her heart brought her here, her brains was what she needed to get her out.
"Do you love me?" Jiyong held her cheek. Her eyes widen at his question and looked away.
"You don't right?" Dara didn't respond to him,"Good. Because I don't either." Dara froze. It was a stab at her heart.
"It's not love yet, but it's something strong. Right?" Dara closed her eyes and exhaled. He was being honest for the both of them.
"You're right. I don't love you." Dara watched him flinch at her statement,"it's not there yet. So why shouldn't I end this before it gets there? The pain wouldn't be as painful compared to later." Jiyong's eyes narrowed.
"No. Give me time. I won't do this again. I'll prove to you that we can work this out. I'll pull up my part of the bargain. Don't do this, Babe." Jiyong pleaded. His grip on her tightened, as if his hold could confirm her stay by him.
"Please, Dara. Please."
She needed to think. Jiyong was begging her. He was too close. No. Dara tugged on him, attempting to bring some space between them but he still wouldn't budge.
"No Dara, don't do this." He cannot let this happen. He won't let her slip away from him. The panic of losing her swelled up within him. No. Don't leave me.
"Give me some time and space Jiyong." Dara struggled in his hold.
"I can't...think properly with you so close right now." She continued to wiggle out of his grip.
"Don't think then. Do what you want, what you feel Babe." Jiyong brought his hand to her cheek and caressed it
"You're brain, wisdom, mind is my enemy right now" Jiyong said half seriously, half jokingly,"I need you to believe in yourself, and what you feel. And to trust that part of yourself. That's my only chance right now." Jiyong softly pleaded. He continued to caresses her cheek and hold her other arm. As much as he would like to hold her at this point, he needed to respect her by giving her the space to decide.
On the other hand, Dara was overwhelmed. His words struck her deeply. She can feel herself believing his advice and following them but she was never the one to let her emotions roam free. Dara is very honest wit herself. She knows what her heart wants and what her mind wants. Jiyong is a man of his words. Promises are meant to be broken. It's still there for him. It's still going to be him even if we break up. What's the point of hurting both of you then? Dara has made her decision.
Jiyong anxiously waited for her as he continue to hold her. He was sweating buckets waiting for her reply. Thousands of ideas scenarios flashed in his mind of how the next five minutes would play out. Jiyong felt his heart skip a beat when Dara sighed after a long pause. Is the sigh a good sigh? Or a bad sigh?
With the arm that wasn't in Jiyong's possession, Dara whipped out her phone.
"One month Jiyong" Adrenaline streamed his veins at her words. Dara lit up her phone.
"One month Jiyong," she repeated," I'm giving you one month to convince me otherwise." Dara glared at him.
"Within this month, you are to do whatever the hell you think can win over my brain, wisdom, and mind side of me. On-" Dara checked her phone"-January 3, a month away from today, at 11:00, you will meet me here on this rooftop for my decision." Dara stared seriously into his eyes.
"If you have a schedule then, then I'm afraid you have to decide which is more important to you. I usually don't make you choose between work and me but" Dara placed her hand over his hand that was on her cheek.
"I need to know if I'm important to you at all Ji." Dara lightly lifted his hand off her cheek.
"If you're not here at 11:00, then my decision will be...something you wouldn't like. However, if you do come here on time, it does not exempt you from that painful decision. Do you understand?" Dara told him seriously.
Dara watched the information sink in. Seconds later, Dara yelped unexpectedly. Jiyong lifted her off the floor and swung her around.
"Jiyong!" Dara screamed yet she held onto him tightly.
Jiyong only laughed at her response,"Crystal, Babe! Crystal!"
He had a chance! Thank the lord! Relief washed over him the second she finished and was replaced by pure happiness. She, at some point, is still his. It was a bit shady but within a month, Jiyong knew he was going to work his off to get her back. But he didn't care at this point. He was estatic to have her back! Well, she's not technically his but who cares about technicals?! Yes! He gently brought her back onto her feet but didn't let her go.
"You're not going to regret this, Babe." Jiyong whispered into her ear,"Not one bit. Prepared to be pampered within the next month." Jiyong kissed her nose tenderly. He held her against him. He wanted to remember this moment, where he barely escaped losing this girl him his arms. He wanted to remember this to never let it happen again.
Dara snuggled herself against him. Her heart was beating so fast, just like he was, and she loved it. She loved how compatible they were and how connected they were. They really just clicked. Dara fluttered her eyes shut and enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms.
"Good luck, my wise side really hates me for giving you a chance. Prepared for being ignored by me for a very long time." Dara mumbled against his shirt.
Dara felt him tighten his hold on her.
"Don't worry, I'll break through it somehow." Jiyong breathed into her ear.
"Once I leave this building, I'm ignoring you" Dara added bluntly.
"Can't wait," Jiyong chuckled,"My chase starts soon."
"Mmm." Dara dug her face deeper into his shirt. I don't want to leave this position, Dara inwardly groaned.
The couple stood there, in each other's arms, for what seem like seconds to them were actually thirteen minutes. The wise side of Dara decided it was enough and it was time to leave. Reluctantly, Dara released him and stepped away from him.
Slowly, all that she suffered the past five months resurfaces. Dara pulled a sour face. She gave him a smug look as she walked off the rooftop.
"Let the chase begin, Kwon Jiyong."
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