Chen's lips were lightly pressing against mine, sending all kinds of emotions throughout my body. I can feel myself burning up as I stay frozen on the spot, doing nothing but standing there. My mind was going blank as his lips just remain there. This is a dream, right?

  Wait a minute. I don't remember going home and sleeping yet. So that means... Chen... Is kissing me? What is going on? Wait! Chen is kissing me! This is for real! I push him away as I get back to my senses. I put a hand to my lips and wave the other around frantically while yelling, "You! You just kissed me!"

  Chen's head was down so I couldn't see his expression at first, but when he raises it, I feel sorry for him. I can clearly see his eyes glistening as the sun was on the side of us.

  I turn my head away too embarrassed to face. Who knew this cheerful kid would actually like me. I mean, I never thought about him liking me out of all the people in the world. I actually thought he liked Lay or someone along those lines. After all, what's so special about me?

  "I'm sorry, Xiumin."

  Wait, he's sorry? Shouldn't I be the one to be saying that since I can't return his feelings? "Uhm..."

  "I know you like Luhan."

  I freeze. Is it really obvious that I like Luhan? Even Sehun tells me that.

  "I can tell the moment we met. I saw the way you were looking at him before he introduced me. I guess it was love at first sight for you, huh? Well for me, I didn't really think too much about it until I saw how fun and caring you could be. Even though you may seem passive to other, I can see you open up to the people you trust. I like that about you along with your smile and cute expressions. I just can't stand it sometimes! You seem so perfect."

  What is he saying? That's not me. That can't be me because I'm this normal guy that can't seem to find love or admirers. I think he's confusing me with Luhan. That's definitely not me. "I-I don't understand Chen. Are you sure you like me? Me? Kim Minseok or also known as Xiumin?" I point at myself while getting close to him. Is he positive that I'm the one he likes?

  Chen simply nods his head. "I like you, Xiumin, but I'll be fine if you don't accept my feelings. I mean, let's just forget all about this." He laughs nervously while ruffling his hair. "I'll see you later, 'kay?" He turns to leave, but I stop him.

  "Wait!" It's so weird to see him so calm. He's usually thus happy-go-lucky guy who could be annoying and quite a ert sometimes. "I'm sorry Chen, but I can't change my feelings for Luhan. I think it'll be best if you let me go."

  He smiles lightly and shakes his head. "I'm not going to give up. I'll wait no matter how long it'll take. I'll wait for you and I'll always be there for you if you're in trouble. I'm doing this because I like you Xiumin." With those words, he leaves me stupefied.

  I truly can't return his feelings. I like Luhan and no one else. I'm sure he's the one that'll make me happy. However, by hearing Chen's confession and me turning him down hurts me. I can feel my heart aching since I know the feeling of being heart broken. I'm sorry, Chen, but I can't fall that easily.

  I wait a while before heading home. My heart feels heavy, but I manage to carry it all the way to my room. I sit on my desk, doing my homework. I'm unable to concentrate as I think about the kiss. It just doesn't make sense. I didn't realize Chen had feelings for me or is it because I'm too dense to notice him? Maybe I was too worried about Luhan not liking me that I didn't think about others. I bang my head on the desk and regret it. "Ouch." I rub my forehead and slap my cheeks. "Okay, concentrate Xiumin. Pretend nothing happened just like what Chen said. Nothing happened..." I stare at this one question for a long time while tapping my pencil on the desk. "Ah! I can't concentrate!" Again, I bang my head on the desk, but keep it there. I really can't keep my mind off of the kiss. It was my first kiss other than from my parents. I was hoping to save these lips for Luhan, but I can't take back a first kiss.

  "Ah! Get out of my head!" I screech and hit my head a couple of times. "Okay! It's time to study some English words!" I take the book in my hand, but I keep seeing the words 'love' and 'kiss' everywhere. "Are those the only words I know?"

  I take out my History book, but I end up seeing the same thing. "I give up..." I groan and head downstairs. Maybe after dinner, I'll be fine.

  I'm not fine whatsoever! During dinner, I ate in silence, but my mind was so busy, I never noticed that I was stuffing myself till I was bloated! Now my stomach hurts.

  I sit at my study desk and continue on with my homework. This time I'm able to finish since it was nearly nine o'clock when I finished dinner and I still had to finish all my classes' homework. Ah, the pain of being in high school.

  When I finally finished my homework, I lie flat on my back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. What is wrong with me? I have never been so troubled over a guy before. I guess it's because this was actually my first confession. I thought I'm not good enough, but I guess there are others who would settle for people like me.

  I close my eyes and let my mind drift before falling asleep.

~*~

  I'm walking towards school, half dead. I didn't get enough sleep last night because I kept waking up every so often. Ugh... I probably look like a zombie to everyone.

  "Good morning, Xiu- Whoa. What happened to you?"

  I look straight ahead of me, seeing that I'm in front of the school building with Luhan by the entrance.

  I rub my eyes. "I didn't get enough sleep, that's all. I'll be fine."

  "Do you want me to walk with you?"

  "No, I'm okay." I head inside and freeze as I find Chen heading up the stairs towards our classroom. I look behind me and see Luhan just centimeters away. I jump back and he does the same with his eyes widening and confused expression.

  "What happened?" he asks.

  "A-ah n-nothing. I didn't realize you were behind me, that's all." I laugh nervously. My heart is beating so quickly under my chest and I feel hot right now. We were so close to kissing.

  "Okay. Are you sure you don't want me to walk with you? We're going the same direction."

  That’s true. We are going the same way, so why not? "Alright."

  He grins and walks beside me.

  As we're walking up the stairs, I can't help, but admire his features. His doe-like eyes are so captivating and his small head makes him adorable. Sometimes I want to take him into my arms and never let him go.

  We reach the classroom and I head straight towards my desk. Luhan follows me but stops when he hears his name being called by Kris. I thought I could ignore him, but I can’t help but take a quick glance before he leaves the classroom. With a deep sigh, I sit at my desk, staring out the window and remembering the first time I saw Luhan and Chen. I wonder if they were friends before Chen was being bullied so that’s why Luhan saved him, but I don’t know. I just remember watching them through a window. Now that we’re older, our relationships are deeper.

  “Hey, hey did you hear what happened yesterday after school between Chen and Xiumin?” I girl says to her three friends. They were a couple of seats in front of me but because I have a good sense of hearing, I can hear everything they’re saying.

  “What happened?” Girl One asks.

  “Oh! I know, was it about the kiss?” Girl Two replies.

  I freeze. How do they know? Was someone watching us the whole time?
  “Yeah, that!” The girl who started the conversation states, “And I also heard that Xiumin turned him down. Poor guy, but it was expected. After all, I don’t really see Xiumin liking someone. He’s pretty cold towards people you know.”

  They know nothing about me! Just because I have these cold glares, doesn’t mean I’m cold to people! That’s just my natural look…

  “Well, as long as Luhan is free, I’m fine,” Girl One states.

  “He won’t like you! I heard he likes cute people and you’re nowhere near cute!” Girl Two exclaims.

  I try listening some more since now they’re talking about Luhan. He likes cute people? I guess I don’t have a chance now… I’m not cute at all.

  “Yo!” A voice shouts while slamming his hands on my desk.

  I jump and find Chen standing beside me with a huge smile on his face. I take a glance at the girls and they’re staring at us. They whisper something to each other before going back to their own conversation.

  “Ah, hi, Chen,” I greet nervously. How can he act so carefree after what happened last night?

  “So did you ask your parents if you could go with us to the beach house?”

  I nod my head. Why is it so hard to look at him in the eye?

  He claps his hands while his smile grows wider. “Great! It’s going to be fun! The more the merrier, right? We can tell ghost stories, sit by a bon fire…” He leans in close with a playful smirk on his lips and whispers, “And if Luhan invites some girls, we’ll be able to see them in their swim suits, if you know what I mean.” Chen wiggles his eyebrows.

  Same old Chen. Like I said, he can be a bit of a ert sometimes. “Yeah.”

  His eyes turn sad, probably thinking about what happened yesterday. I don’t want to act like this, but I can’t stop thinking about the kiss. It constantly repeats in my mind when I don’t want it to. Why is that?

  He pats my back. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” He spins on his heels and spots Luhan coming in once more. “Luhan! Good morning even though I already saw you earlier!” With a chuckle, he goes to his desk.

  I notice Luhan’s expression changed for earlier. What could Kris have told him? Wait. No, it couldn’t be about the kiss! Now I really do lose my chance of winning Luhan’s heart! What am I going to do?

  Luhan’s eyes meet for a moment and in that moment, pain was clearly shown in his eyes. He drops his gaze to the ground while he sits at his desk.

  A pain shoots in my heart. I don’t want this to happen. I wanted to be with Luhan. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea, but then, why is he affected? Could it be he liked Chen? Sometimes I get the feeling he does since he’s always with him. They spend so much time together and even walk to and from school together. I really am jealous.

  When the bell rings to start school, I force myself to listen to the teacher as he explains our classwork assignment. I didn’t want to pay attention to anything or anybody right now except for the teacher. I want to get away from the ever spreading rumors that were actually true. If only I could have a chance to tell Luhan how I feel, but I can never bring myself to say it when the time comes.

  Throughout the class period, I pretend that no one’s around and continue on with my work. I did that until lunch came. I’m thinking of eating by myself, but the moment I stand up with my lunch in my hands, I hear Luhan calling for me.

  “Xiumin can we talk?”

  I didn’t want to look at him, but if I avoid him, things could get worse. I guess he’s going to tell me that he likes Chen and I should back off. But then again, he’s not that type of person. Maybe he wants to tell me that he does like Chen, so even though Chen does like me, he’s not going to give up on him. This love will end up being a circle and it seems that Sehun doesn’t fit in anywhere.

  “I’m kind of hungry. Do you want to talk after school?” I suggest. I don’t want to hear all this right now.

  Luhan shakes his head. “I want to talk to you now. Follow me.”

  I really don’t want Luhan to get involve but it’s too late for that. I take a deep sigh and follow behind him. Right when I leave the room, we pass by Chen. He looks at me and then to Luhan. With a small smile, he waves at us and says, “I’ll see you guys at the usual spot, okay?”

  Luhan nods. “Mhm! We’ll be back in a moment.”

  I didn’t say a word.

  When we finally reach Luhan’s destination which was the rooftop, Luhan whips his head side to side before staring straight into my eyes. His expression was serious while his eyes were firm. “I heard about the rumors about Chen and you kissing. Is it true?”

  He didn’t need to be so upfront about it. It’s not fair! Chen was the one who kissed me without warning! If he had told me he liked me before he attempted to kiss me, then all this wouldn’t have happened! I don’t want Luhan to get the wrong idea. However, there’s no turning back. I nod my head while biting my lip.

  “And is it also true you told him off?”

  I shoot my head up. “It’s not like that! I didn’t really say anything! I don’t think of Chen that way, so don’t worry!” The last words I mutter, “But there’s still a chance.”

  “It’s not fair!” He suddenly exclaims.

  “What?” What’s not fair? Does he like Chen this much? He’s hurting me right now, deep in the chest.

  “I wanted to have your first kiss, Xiumin! It’s not fair that Chen took it away from me! I didn’t even think he liked you! It’s not fair! It’s not fair! It’s not fair!” Luhan pouts and crosses his arms over his chest like a child throwing a tantrum. This was the first time I see Luhan acting this way and I don’t know how to react.

  “Wh-What do you mean?”

  “How can you be so dense? You’re so mean! What I’m saying is I like you Xiumin! I really, really like you! I wanted to take your first kiss, but it seems that Chen already has! It’s not fair!” He whimpers and takes a deep breath. “I like you Xiumin and no one else!”