Another day at the beach house with just the seven of us (yes, I finally added Tao in here). Today we’ve decided to walk around despite the fact it’s super-hot outside! Lay was the one who suggested it since he was bored staying in the house for long.

  “We can either go into town or just walk around the beach.”

  “I want to go hiking,” I say. I’ve been wanting since the first day we got here. It’s just no one was in the mood until now.

  “Yeah, and get lost in that woody area! No way!” Sehun exclaims while crossing his arms over his chest. It seems like he’s not much of an outdoor person.

 “There’s a path, so don’t worry. You won’t get lost unless you step off.” Luhan explains.

  Everyone’s on the couch, listening to his explanations and what we will see along the way. The only one who doesn’t seem interested was Sehun. He simply closes his eyes and dozes off. As for the rest, they were quite excited, even Chen. I couldn’t hear a word that Luhan was saying because I was still confused about yesterday. How does he do it? How is he able to hide his emotions so easily? What exactly is he thinking?

  “So, we’re going then?” Luhan asks.

  “Yeah!” Chen exclaims while fist pumping the air.

  Kris smiles for a moment before turning to his usual self. “It sounds fun.”

  Tao chuckles to himself.

  Lay stares out in space.

  Sehun is still ignoring even if we made a decision. “Ah, whatever. I’ll probably leave early and head back here. I really don’t see the whole point in hiking if all we’re doing is walking around and seeing trees and animals. It sounds quite boring. Plus, there’s going to be a lot of bugs biting me. And adding to that, I have a sun burn!”

  “If you don’t want to go, then just don’t go,” Chen states simply while giving him a look.

  “I’ll get the waters.” Kris stands up and heads to the kitchen with Luhan following behind.

~*~

  So, in the end, Sehun comes, grumbling and muttering nonsense to himself at the back.

  “Ah, stop being so cranky and catch up!” Chen shouts from the middle of our line. He really loves to get onto Sehun’s nerves.

  Our line was like this: Luhan, me, Lay, Chen, Tao, Kris, and Sehun. We didn’t have an exact reason why, but that’s how we ended up.

  As we walk in the woods, I constantly hear Sehun complaining. No one says anything because he’ll continue complaining no matter what we tell him. We already sprayed bug spray, so he shouldn’t be worrying too much about those things.

  I’m not sure how long we hiked, but soon we ended up at a cliff, looking out into the beach. It takes a while for us to find where our beach house was, but Luhan knew where it was. “I’ve been here a lot,” he said when he points it out.

  “It feels good here,” Lay compliments while sitting down.

  It sure did. After that long walk, it’s good to sit down and relax with this breeze.

  Everyone plops down near him except for Sehun. He didn’t want to sit on grass because it made him itchy.

  “So, I’m thinking tonight we can light up some sparklers. This is a private beach house, so there’s nothing to be afraid of. We just can’t shoot off those big ones. I have some in the storage.” Luhan looks at the group, anticipating their answer.

  “Sure. Sparklers sounds fun,” Lay says indifferently.

  “Uhm, do you really want to do it, Lay because it doesn’t seem like you want to,” Kris confronts while forcing a laugh.

  “Yeah.” He brings his two thumbs up and half smiles, showing his dimple.

  While I’m sitting a bit away from everyone, I see Sehun coming up to me and asks, “Why aren’t you with your little boyfriend? Did something happen last night?” He smirks while letting out a small chuckle.

 I blush remembering us kissing, but soon I frown as Chen’s conversation with me appears in my head. “What do you want, Sehun?” I don’t understand why he always wants to give me a hard time.

  “I just have something to tell you. First, Luhan and I used to date.”

  “I know that.” I roll my eyes. Nothing that Sehun says will affect me.

  He continues as he leans close to my ear. His hot breath tickles me as he says, “And our parents want us to get married, so they’ve set up an arranged marriage for us after high school. That’s why we were late because his parents and mine were explaining it to us in person.”

  I push him away. Lies! Those were all lies! “Will you stop trying to destroy our relationship? We’re perfectly happy together and I don’t need problems like you getting in the way! Will you please just leave us alone?”

  Everyone was listening. I just know it.

  I turn to the group and certainly see everyone staring, but their reaction surprises me. I thought Luhan would be angered, but in fact, he was hurt. His eyes are to the ground as he avoids my gaze. Chen was in shocked with his eyes wide and motionless. Kris stares b               lankly at me. And as for Tao and Lay, they were quite confused.

  Sehun immediately turns to Luhan and then back to me with that same playful smirk. He speaks quietly, “Don’t you see? He’s not even looking at you.”

  “Shut up!” I raise a fist. Oh, how I wanted to punch his pretty little face right now. My blood was boiling and my eyes dilated, and I know in just a matter of seconds, I would definitely take a swing at him. “I’m going to-”

  “Stop it, Xiumin!” Chen exclaims from among the crowd.

  That brings me back to my senses. I drop my fist and lie flat on my back, taking deep breaths of air. Do relationships do this to you? Do you really go this crazy?

  “Okay guys, let’s all take a deep breath,” Kris suggests, “We’re on vacation. Let’s not make this a stressful vacation. We’re here to relax, so let us release all these emotions and calm down.”

  “Hmph!” Sehun crosses his arms over his chest and remains silent.

  I lay there and cover my eyes with my forearm to block out the sun. I feel like I’m going crazy. What is with my feelings? What is with Sehun? What is with all the people in this world? They confuse me, but the one person who I’m confused about the most is myself. I don’t understand why my emotions. Sometimes I want people to leave me alone while other times, I want them near me. And sometimes I hate one person for a minute and the next, I love them.

  Why? Why does life get so complicated?

  I lie there, taking a short nap while everyone else did their own thing.

~*~

  We decide to head back to the beach house after quite some time. I walk in the back as I'm distracted by my thoughts. Is it true that Luhan has to marry Sehun? I hope not, but the way Luhan was looking at me worries me. My mind drifts as I don't hear or see anything. I didn't even notice my pace until I look up to see no one around.

  "Crap!" I exclaim and run ahead. I'm only a couple of steps away, right?

  Wrong.

  The longer I walk, the more I realize how lost I am. I didn't stop, hoping someone notices my absence, but I end up at a fork in the path. Was it left or right?

  "Oh my god! I'm lost!" I shout. Too bad phones don't work in this area.

  I think while pacing back and forth on my path. Should I turn left or right? Ugh, I don’t remember where we came from! Which way is it? I don’t want to get lost even further! What if I never make it back? What will my parents say if they find out I’m dead! No I can’t think that way! I have to be smart, so I decide to head back to the cliff. I'd rather be stuck in one place than get lost even more.

  Sitting by the cliff, I watch the waters as waves rise and fall. I think of it as my emotions and feelings towards everyone around me. Sometimes I feel lifted while other times, I feel so helpless.

  I pull my knees to my chest and bury my head. Why? Why are there so many complications in a relationship? Why does it make your heart feel so vulnerable? Why can't your heart beat for only one person?

  I let out a shaky breath as tears force their way out of my eyes. I'm so confused. I love Luhan, but there are so many complications in this relationship. And then there's Chen whose love makes me feel like I'm the bad guy. I hate this. I hate myself. Why does life have to be unfair?

  More tears come as I think about one more thing: why isn't Luhan looking for me?

  "Xiumin."

  I shoot up and turn around. My heart leaps, but as I see Chen standing there, I can't help but break down. Where's Luhan? "C-Chen," I stutter as the tears wouldn't stop.

  "Why did you stop? Everyone's wondering where you went." He steps up to me.

  I bow my head. "Where's Luhan?" Why isn’t it Luhan who’s here? Why is Chen the one standing in front of me, looking for me here?

  He puts on a smile. "He's checking out the other path, but I can tell him to come here if you'd like." He pulls out a walkie talkie and clicks in. "Hey, Luhan, I found Xiumin. We can head back now if you’d like or do you want to meet up somewhere?”

  There was static before, "Alright, I'll meet you two back home."

  "Alright." He turns to me, “I guess he didn’t hear me. The signal is bad here anyways.” Chen laughs nervously and  holds out a hand. "Let's go."

  How? How can he smile so brightly after all these bitter times? What does he think about when I mention Luhan? And most of all, how long will he wait for me?

  "Let's go, Xiumin. Everyone is waiting for you. We're going to have fireworks tonight," he says softly and steps closer to me.

  I flinch from his words. Why is he always so calm? I can't stand it sometimes.

  Suddenly, I feel a warm, tight embrace, calming me down. Then there was humming; the type of humming you would hear from a mother to calm her child down. Chen rubs my back and as his comfort continues. I can't help but cry even more. What did I do to deserve this type of attention?

  I want him to give up on me. I want him to find someone who deserves him because I know I don't. I want him to stop caring for me so much while I just hurt him in the end.

  By the end of his tune, he lets me go and smiles. "Do you feel better now?"

  I nod my head and wipe my tears away. I do a bit, but not exactly. My mind is still being complex at this moment.

  "Good because you sure look ugly right now!" He laughs hysterically while patting my back. "You better clean up before your boyfriend sees you like this!"

  My lips tremble as I force a smile. He never fails to make me smile no matter what happens, and I'm glad. He’s one of the few friends who don’t give up. "Okay. I'm ready." I continue to wipe my face with my sleeves.

  Chen chuckles and takes my arm before leading me back to Luhan's beach house.