Ever since that kiss, I can't get Chen out of my mind. I want to speak to him, but every time our eyes meet, he turns away with a slight blush on his cheeks. It wasn't until lunch time when I confronted him. He's sitting alone at an empty table, eating his lunch peacefully, so I sit down next to him. "Chen," I start. How can I continue this? "I'm sorry." Maybe he's avoiding me because he didn't want me to kiss him.

  Chen remains silent and continues eating, but I can tell he's listening to me.

  "You probably think I'm an idiot right now for kissing you. I shouldn't have done that in the first place, but..." I pause. I need to listen to my yearning heart. "I think I've fallen in love with you."

  He scoffs which gets me surprised. "Are you really? Or you think you're falling in love with me because I've been so nice to you."

  Those words sting me in the heart, but his notion was reasonable. It really is too quick to fall in love so suddenly.

  He continues, "If you truly love me, then you'll be able to wait." A smile creeps up on his lips. "If you truly love me, then you wouldn't mind me saying we should start over, would you? I want to pretend that I never confessed to you last year and I want to take things a lot slower no matter how much I want this relationship." Chen chuckles.

  I'm confused by his words, but deep inside, I think I understand him. I know it's too early to become a couple and I feel like I'm forcing myself to love him sometimes. I smile back at him, but before I can answer him, I hear my name being called from behind me. I turn around to find Luhan standing there with a worried expression on his face. Once more, my heart skips a beat as a sharp pain comes right after. Why is he here all of a sudden?

  "Can I talk to you?" He says in a soft voice.

  I want to refuse, but I didn't want to be like him, ignoring me and pretending like I didn't exist. I nod my head and follow him out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. It's empty, so no one would be able to hear us. For a moment, we were quiet until Luhan says the first words.

  He bows low in front of me. "I'm sorry for treating you like a lately. I'm really, really sorry. I was such a coward."

  Even with that apology, I want to hit him. Anger boils inside of me as thoughts fill my mind. Now he wants to say sorry? After all the times I want to speak to him, he decides to talk to me now? I don't understand. I clench my fists tightly as I speak in a harsh tone, "Why now? Why are you asking for forgiveness now? Do you not understand how much pain I've been just watching you in the distance without even being able to speak to you? Do you not understand how much pain I've felt when you ignore me? Do you not understand my heart?" I can tell tears are slipping down my cheeks as my vision blurred. "You're a horrible person, you know that?"

  Luhan is unmoving, but he constantly murmurs, "I'm sorry."

  "I don't want to hear that now! Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I'm practically screaming at the top of my lungs.

  "Because I was a coward!" He shoots his head up at me and for the first time, I can see the pain in his face. Tears flow down his eyes as his cheeks flare red. His body trembles as his words shakes, "I was afraid to confront you. I was also hoping you would find someone better than me and you would forget me, so I kept my distance."

  But he didn't know how much it hurt me. I can't say anything as I begin to choke up.

  "I'm sorry," he repeats once more.

  "I just want to know why. I want to know why you broke up with me," I say in a flat tone.

  He flinches. "I'm moving back to China, and I didn't want you to wait for me. I'm not even sure if I would be able to come back, so that's why I broke up with you. And plus, I saw that Chen could give you happiness, and probably more than what I could. I noticed when you're around him, you're a lot happier than you are with me. I feel like you would be better off with him than me. I didn't mean to hurt you this way, but please accept my apology. I don't think I can bear with this burden."

  If you can't bear with it, then why did you do it? I want to continue yelling at him and making him feel bad, but that would be immature. I have to forgive and forget. Or maybe, I need to just forgive because forgetting about him and all the happy times being with him are too valuable for me to ignore. He managed to give me happiness even though it was a short time, so what's the whole point of getting mad at him forever? Reluctantly, I give in. I grab his hand and pull him close to my chest and feel that familiar warmth. "I forgive you," I whisper and close my eyes, not wanting to cry. I need to stop crying.

  "Thank you," I hear him whisper back.

  I let him go and once I do, from behind him, I find Chen staring at us. His eyes are wide as he's frozen on the spot.

  "Chen," I mutter loud enough for Luhan to hear.

  Luhan turns around and once he does, Chen comes back to life and shifts his gaze from me to Luhan to nothing before dashing pass us without a word.

  No. He shouldn't be running! He must've gotten the wrog idea! I didn't say anything to Luhan as my body begins to move on it's own. I run after Chen, hoping I would be able to catch up with him. I don't want to lose him now.