CH.10 Confusing feelings
Love Footprints
GuiGui just couldn't stop the tears that were flowing down to her face, the pain was too much for her to handle. She thought that what he was showing her was the real him but she was totally wrong, she just deceived her with his kindness and sweetness. All those actions, events and gestures that he did for her were just lies, they weren't real and they served to attract more viewers for the tv show.
She didn't exactly hear every single word of their conversation but what she witnessed was enough to confirm that the two were indeed a couple.
Her heart ached more after reminiscing their kissing scene, she somehow pity herself for being so stupid to slightly hope that Taecyeon and her had something special. Probably she was the only one between them who thought about that possibility.
"It's okay" Hyun Joong gently whispered those two simple words while caressing her hair
But instead of cheering her up, those words made her cry even more. She hated herself for being so weak and for letting someone see how frail she is.
"GuiGui.." Taecyeon's voice re-echoed in the silent night, seeing her in that state was tearing his heart apart, how can he go back to few hours ago and avoid that misunderstanding?
After hearing his voice, GuiGui's tear ducts suddenly closed. She lifted her eyes and saw Taecyeon standing up at the end of the stairs. She fastly released herself from Hyun Joong's tight embrace and wiped away the tears from her face, she was so ashamed of herself to let him see her crying and showing him that she's really affected by what just happened.
Taecyeon walked towards GuiGui and stopped right in front of her, he wanted to grab her hand and drag into a place where there are only the two of them to explain her clearly that she misunderstood everything, but he wasn't sure if she will listen to him, not after seeing how much she cried.
"Listen.." he initially said, releasing a sigh of frustration "It's not what you think,really"
"It's okay" she shaked her head, not wanting to hear his excuses. It wasn't the right time to face him "You don't need to explain yourself"
"GuiGui" he knew that there was a big possibility to lose her after what just happened and that feeling was what he's afraid of "You need to listen my version, you misunderstood what you saw"
She frowned upon hearing his words, how can he say that seeing them kissing was a misunderstanding? The pain that she was feeling a second ago changed into anger, how can he easily lie after she witnessed with her eyes that scene?
"You were right back then. Trust is like an eraser if you keep using it, it goes away" she said using the same words he used before in the black room interview "What I saw had nothing to do with me" she lastly added and turned her back on him, walking away from the person she thought would genlty handle her heart.
As soon as she turned her back on him, her eyes started to get teary once again.
"I love him" that was what her heart and mind shouting in sync. For the first time after months she finally admitted to herself and named the feeling she denied and fighted to, but unfortunately love can also be cruel, it doesn't always have a happy ending like what fairy tails makes you believe.
"Are you okay?" Hyun Joong followed her footsteps, he wanted to show her that he'll be always there for her
"Can you please take me to the hotel?" she asked, instead of answering his question, with a tone of voice that lacks of emotion. She needed time to figure out everything and heal her wounds, time for herself where no one can see nor pity her.
Luckily for the whole journey Hyun Joong didn't ask her anything, it felt like he silently understood that it wasn't the right time to talk about what just happened neither insist to know what happened between her and Taecyeon. She was thankful to him for being by her side in that unpleasant moment, lending his shoulder to cry on without complaining. If it weren't for him she wouldn't have know what would she have done, in that moment he was like her saviour.
He silently drove her to her hotel and asked once again if she was okay, instead of answering his question she forced herself to smile. Not talking was the best way to avoid the pain that she was experiencing in those hours.
She stepped outside his car and walked towards the entrance of the hotel, her footsteps looked heavy as if she was carrying the whole world upon her shoulders, once again she was betrayed by a person she cherished.
When she arrived to her room she threw herself on the bed and stared at the white ceiling, few seconds later tears started to flow once gain down from her eyes wetting her face. The empty room and the white cold walls were the only one who can see her tears and listen to her silent cry..
Taecyeon opened the door of their dorm exhausted. GuiGui didn't even listened to his explanation, she just refuses to hear him and choose to just run away. He knew how much he unintentionally hurted her, in a short instant she wasn't anymore the same girl he knew before and that was entirely his fault.
For making her cry until her eyes were all red and swollen, for hurting her pure heart and for being so powerless to let her go just like that made him feel worthless.
"Where's GuiGui?" Wooyoung pouted his lips while looking at him, clueless about what just happened
"She won't come.." he whispered, even talking was hard for him
"Eh? Why?" Chansung frowned his brows "Just when I thought I will finally meet her"
"She left this" he handed to Nickhun a paper bag "I think it's for you guys" he said, giving the bag that GuiGui dropped on the corridor.
s started to take out one by one the named presents that GuiGui bought for them. They looked astonished when they tear apart the gift-wraps, not expecting those simple gifts from a girl they barely know.
"She left this and then ran away?" Jun K stared at the trendy cap that GuiGui gifted him "If she was feeling shy to enter our dorm, you should have forced her. What should we do now? We're really grateful about these gifts" at his last sentence the other four members nodded simultaneously. They were expecting for his reply, instead Taecyeon looked lost and in pain.
"Taecyeon-ah are you okay?" Jun Ho stared at him with a perplexed expression printed on his face
"She hates me now" he stared at the floor, not being able to lift his eyes and look at his friends. Pronouncing those four words made his heart ache, making hard for him to breathe normally "I'm such an idiot"
"What happened?" Nickhun frowned his brows, somehow seeing his friend in that state makes him think that something terrible just happened
He released a sigh of frustration and tell to s the whole story, starting from what happened with Jessica and ended with how GuiGui reacted to the situation. When he finished, an awkward silence surrounded the living room, he was expecting his friends' reaction over what he just told but the five guys just looked at him as if they were trying to choose gently the words to say. In the end Wooyoung finally cut the silence by telling his own opinion.
"It's not entirely your fault. I mean this story with Jessica is old, you didn't expect that she will suddenly kiss you neither GuiGui witnessing that scene" he paused,trying to put his shoes onto Taecyeon's situation "On the other hand I understand GuiGui's side because she was shocked and hurt. She obviously feels something for you if she reacted in that way"
"Just by watching you two, it was clearly visible that you have feelings for each other but try your best to fight and suppress those emotions" Nickhun said while looking at Taecyeon who was feeling uneasy "You're biggest fault is you let her go just like that"
"And also letting Hyun Joong take her away from you" Chansung shaked his head
"How can I not let her go if she doesn't even believe me?" he frowned and closed his eyes, trying to control the mixed feelings
"You know what's the main problem? If you really like her then say it out loud" Jun K was starting to feel annoyed by Taecyeon's behaviour "What are you waiting? Seriously, I don't know why you're so slow at making any progress. Look what just happened? Instead of getting closer you both are drifting apart"
"You don't know guys what's GuiGui's past so for you it's easy to talk like that. How can I regain her trust if she thinks everything I did were all lies.."
"Aren't you the smartest among us? I'm sure you'll find a way" Nickhun patted his back, sure that his friend will definitely win GuiGui back.
"GuiGui open the door, it's me Mei" few seconds later the white door slowly opened, appearing an exhausted GuiGui in front of her eyes "Remind me that you're still the cheerful friend I used to know" she paused, hoping to make her atleast smile but nothing "Me and Chen are really worried for you, it's been two weeks already that you refuse to film for GWGM, Chen is having a hard time to find excuses to postpone the schedule. The PD is starting to suspect that you're avoiding your own responsibility" she sighed, feeling frustrated about the whole situation
"I think I might end to film for GWGM" she whispered, she still hasn't fully recovered from what happened between Taecyeon and Jessica, her wounds were still fresh.
"What?" the tone of Mei's voice reached a higher pitch "GuiGui.." she called her friend's name, placing her hand on GuiGui's shoulder "Listen to me.. I know that what you saw is hurting you so much to the point that you refuse to step outside this gloomy house of yours. After you finish working you don't hang around anymore, instead you just lock yourself inside this apartment and do nothing" she sighed once again, seeing her friend in that state deeply hurts her heart "But you know what? Based on the story that you told me you didn't even listen to Taecyeon's explanation and please.." she paused and intimate her to don't complain "I'm not on his side, I'm just telling you what I think about what happened between you and him. You both look so good on screen and also off-screen. So good that people around the world are begging to watch a second season of you two and now that the request of those people finally came true and real you are destroying everything. I'm not forcing you to step outside and face him, just give him a chance to atleast explain what happened"
"My eyes already witnessed what happened, what's the use of hearing his excuses?" bitterness was mixed with the words that she just said, it was difficult for her to move on and act like nothing happened
"It's not an excuse. How can you be so sure when you didn't hear every single word they talked about? I mean, what if that girl kissed him without his consent? Did you ever think of that?" she stared at her friend's eyes "I repeat, I'm not on his side. I just think you're being too hard on yourself and also on him"
"I..I don't know anymore" she uttered in confusion those words, feeling insecure about her feelings
"I know you better than anyone else, I know what you have been through and how you tried to be strong after all but GuiGui don't mislabel every person you meet as a liar when they commit a mistake because people are not perfect. Listen to him, give him a chance to explain" she lastly said trying to reassure her with a smile.
When Mei left her she looked around the empty house and felt more lonely. Her friend was right, she was being hard on herself and also on Taecyeon who was trying to tell her his side but pain, anger and betrayal were poisoning her mind and heart,making hard for her to listen to others. Luckily she had a friend who's always patiently helping her to return to the right path, not leaving for an instant her side.
She stared at the screen of her mobile phone, in the past two weeks he has been calling and texting her non-stop but she never replied to any of them. Now she was starting to feel guilty for completetly ignoring his efforts to contact her, besides that day she didn't receive any text nor call from him, probably he got tired to chase after her.
"Eotteoke?" she asked to herself feeling lost as what can she do "Should I call him?"
She abruptly stood up from the chair and walked back and fourth in the kitchen, leaving her mobile phone on the table.
"What should I do? What should I do?" she kept on repeating the same question to herself over and over again. Few minutes later, after tormenting herself she sat again on the chair and grabbed the phone scrolling down to her contact infos and search for Taecyeon's name.
Just when she was going to dial his number the phone suddenly started to vibrate and ring,making her startle.
"Oh my.." she put her right hand on her chest, surprised to receive that sudden call just when she was about to call Taecyeon. The number that was appearing on the screen wasn't registered on her phonebook, she frowned because it was from a taiwanese carrier "Wei?" she said, answering the call in taiwanese language "Wei?" she repeated once again when no one was talking on the other line.
Her cellphone vibrated again while she was still on the phone, confused about what was happening she opened the message and the content of it sent shivers through her back.
"Look outside the window.." it was from the same number on the line
"W-Who are you?" she asked to the caller. She was starting to get frightened by the situation plus receiving that creepy message scared her even more "You can't scary me that easily " she gulped, trying to swallow the fear that she was feeling in that moment "You want me to look outside? Fine!" she fastly walked the distance between the kitchen to the living room, heading towards the window. With her heart beating crazily and loud she put aside the colored cream curtains "I told you I'm not afraid of..." she couldn't even finished what she was saying, from the third floor of her apartment she recognized the man who was standing all alone in the street in the middle of the night.
"Finally you answered the phone" Taecyeon looked above him and watched GuiGui from the window of her apartment "Finally I can see you" he said, shortly smiling at the girl who was surprised to see him there..
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Finally I finished writing this chapter!!! I cut it there because it was getting really long, I've written six pages also because there will be a surprise in the next chapter!! :D
I'm updating it again tomorrow, the next chapter will be soooooooo sweet, please do anticipate it!
Comments are always appreciated please do tell me what do you think about this chapter ^_^
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