a/n: why is luhan not in the official fic poster, you ask? 

he looks exactly like sehun, so why bother /bricked/ just kidding! just kidding! dont kill meh T____T

Life is about making choices.

Whether to be a singer, a professor, a single father, or...to choose one child over the other, you make a choice.

How do you know that you’ve made the right one?

///

Sometimes it’s the spotlight.

Sometimes it’s the thrill of the chase, the urge to see your name in the sea of screaming fans, the desire to hear your name among strangers as they turn around to get a glimpse of a celebrity.

“Park Chan Yeol! Park Chan Yeol! Uri Happi Biruseu Park Chan Yeol!”

Chanyeol saw his name on LED boards, flickering in the crowd. Butterflies in his stomach, he was dreaded to think of a day when he was not performing anymore. Where would the thrill be if he was not made to dance and rap at this KBS studio, the spotlight on him as he took center stage.

They all came to see you. They’d be disappointed if you stopped.

Chanyeola, you sure you want to do this...

Chanyeol stepped out, playing with his guitar pick in one hand and holding the neck of his white guitar in the other. He could almost hear Baekhyun, his best friend extraordinaire, wishing him good luck from backstage. This was his solo stage. This was his time to shine.

“Hello everyone. I would like to thank you for always being with us. But sometimes, life does not go the way we want and...I am so sorry for letting you down after what you’ve done for me...”

Tonight he would choose his fate. This privilege of deciding his dream, Chanyeol would give it to himself and no one else. Not manager hyungs. Not those fans.. And especially not SM.

“So I have decided to say my goodbye, to you all, here. This will be the last time.”

Gasps were heard in the throng of screaming fans. Then everything fell silent. No one muttered a word at Chanyeol’s revelation.

Then his trainee days flashed before his eyes.

“Sehun, this song is for you.”

///

“I...I have bloodtype B...” Junmyun muttered to himself as the hope diminished, slipping through his fingers like specks of yellow sand in the high wind. Dried tears couldn’t even fall.

“No can do, sir. It has to be O Rh-. Even O Rh+ won’t do. Does he has any other relatives, then?” The nurse was the demanding, feet tapping on the floor while waiting for a response kind of person. She didn’t help Junmyun feel any less anxious about the fact that Sehun is dying in there at all.

I can’t lose you again, Sehun-ah...

Junmyun sank into a sobbing mess in front of the OR, trying to shake negative thoughts out of his head. He had every God given right to break down right there in public because he was dead tired. Junmyun was tired of running and he hadn’t slept at all for the past two days and the throbbing pain in his chest hadn’t subsided since Yifan kissed him, just hours ago, without his consent.

The floor felt cold against his bare feet.

If you die, I have no reason to live anymore...

Junmyun shivered in the flimsy shirt and leather pants, with Sehun’s smile playing in his head vividly like a movie. That angel was sent from heaven above for Junmyun to watch, yet he messed up and put Sehun in jeopardy. If he were to be punished by the immortals, Junmyun deserved himself a thousand years in hell. He looked back and forth between Luhan and the door to the OR, and tears started to build up in the corners of his eyes again.

”Mine is O. Please, take my blood.” Luhan suddenly said, his eyes shining with faith.

Junmyun had lost faith seventeen years ago.

“No!” He stood up and gave his long lost son a look of horror. Luhan can’t know the truth. He doesn’t need to. If he were to donate blood to Sehun, the doctors would find out they are twins. They will tell him, and...and I don’t know what I would do if that happened...

“Sir, we have no time. The patient is in grave danger!” The nurse urged, her voice was frantic. Junmyun noticed how her scrub outfit was dirtied with specks of dried blood - Sehun’s blood - and tried to hold down the nausea from coming back.

“Suho-hyung. Let me do this. Please.” Luhan pleaded. Junmyun saw the reflection of  Sehun in those eyes.

“I-I can’t let you do this, Luhan! Excuse me, are you sure you ran out of supplies? There has to be a donor out there!” Junmyun was shaking the hands of the nurse as the helpless look on her face brought back memories of the night his parents were rushed to the OR. It hit him with all sorts of misery, reminding him why the hospital was the saddest place on earth.

“Suho-hyung! This is my mistake. Sehun is in there because of me. You can hit me, slap me or do anything you want with me when Sehun wakes up, but please, let me fix this.” Luhan pulled Junmyun into a tight embrace. The older’s tears soaking his white shirt, Luhan pulled out his handkerchief and stuffed it in the man’s hands before leaving with the nurse. Junmyun didn’t have the strength to follow him.

An hour later, Luhan was still in a daze.

He had a bad feeling ever since he woke up with a nosebleed this morning. It felt like everything that was happening was meant to happen. Had he not received a call from his personal detective, everything would have been different. Had he not sped up at that moment, Sehun wouldn’t have been here, caught in the middle of life and death.

Luhan felt a wave of nausea hit him, sending a hell lot of dizziness into his head. Screwing his eyes shut, Luhan paled as blood dripped out of his veins. He had always been afraid of blood.

Guess I’m not cut out for being a vampire, then, Luhan joked to himself dryly so as to

“Hey, um...Song Quian? Can you do a DNA test for me and that patient, Oh Se Hun?” Luhan winked at the blushing nurse as she took the last packet of his blood.  Luhan was surprised when he asked it himself. Were it to happen, it would be a one in a million chance. But knowing his father who sleeps around with any he can get his hands on, Luhan has the slightest hunch that Sehun could be one of those illegitimate sons of Wu Yi Fan.

“What, thinking that he might be your long lost brother or something?” Song Quian cocked an eyebrow, her smile was brighter than the hospital lights.

“Just a feeling,” Luhan shrugged, and as if on cue, Song Quian looked flustered.

“Okay, but just because you’re cute,” she winked before running out to do her work, leaving Luhan to deal with the pounding headache by himself. He didn’t know why he particularly requested it, but he did anyway. It might have been that preconscious part of his mind that thought of the possibility that maybe, just maybe, Sehun might share the same blood as him.

Looking at his own reflection in the mirror nearby, Luhan swore he thought he saw a ghost.

His phone rang. It was Sungkyu, one of his many underlings.

“Lu-ge, we found the information you requested.”

“Carry on.”

Something didn’t feel right. Luhan could tell by the way the man hesitated on the other line. Whatever it was that he was supposed to hear, Luhan knew that it wouldn’t be pleasant.

Indeed it wasn’t.

“Our lead is a man by the name of Kim Jun Myun. Now I know it sounds crazy, but we are 99% sure that he is your mother. We went to every hospital in Guangzhou, and traced back to where you were born. The data matched. There were only two babies born that night. It’s you and...”

Luhan was taken aback, but didn’t let the curiosity get to him. Not once did he think of his mother figure as a man before. These things were new to him. His heart was a jumble of confusion, disappointment and grief. This feeling was something foreign to the young man.

“And...?” Luhan tried not to let the anger overcome him. His hands shaking, the blonde-haired boy bit his lips in anticipation until they bled crimson blood,

“And your twin brother.”

“You’re...you’re saying that I have a twin brother that  I don’t know of? Where is he?” Luhan almost screamed on top of his voice. He was confused. Hurt. Angry. He didn’t know what to do, how to react.

“We don’t know. We think he’s living with your birth mother, but we’re not so sure. What we do know is that Kim Jun Myun moved to Korea a year after you were born. He used a fake Korean passport with the name Oh Su Ho.”

And it was the last straw. Luhan came bursting out of the door, ignoring the pain in his head. The walls were spinning around him, his world growing dark, but Luhan couldn’t stop running through the corridors of the white-washed hospital. Everything was a blur. He almost collapsed twice and knocked over a nurse’s gurney. People were yelling at him. The thought he was crazy for bolting through the hospital like that. But he couldn’t hear them. He couldn’t hear them over the imagined sirens screaming into his ears.

“Hello? Lu-ge? Are you listening to me?”

Luhan dropped the phone. It smashed into a million pieces into the floor, interspersed between the bad memories. The nightmares. The sleepless nights curled up into the corner of the room, hoping that the monster under his bed would go away. The dreams of the vaguely sketched version of his mother, long hair and beautiful voice...the most beautiful voice he had ever heard in his entire life...

///

So this is how it feels like.

The adrenaline rushing through your blood...

///

Luhan stood dumbfounded before the pair. His legs felt weak.

He watched as Junmyun sobbed into his father’s shirt, staining it with the salty liquid from his eyes.

And his father, the person he despised all his life, was caressing the face of his guardian angel, tracing his filthy fingers on the other’s milky skin.

They were sitting on the floor, hugging each other for dear life while Oh Se Hun was sleeping in the OR with the surgeon stitching up his head. Luhan felt sick watching the scene unfolded before him.

“W-W-What if he d-dies. Oh God...My child...my...my...poor child,” Junmyun was sniffing. His words were incoherent, barely intelligible.

Luhan clenched his fists.

When he broke his arm in third grade and ended up at home for three months, his father never once showed up to pat him on the head and say that you are going to be okay, I will buy you new toys.

Not. once.

And later that night, Luhan would see the new pair of high heels at the front door again, 5 inches of adultery ready to interfere with his father’s life...

“He’s going to be okay.” Yifan reassured Junmyun, unaware of the presence of a fuming Luhan.

Lines blurred.

Lines crossed.

Luhan came charging at his father, and hands clenched into fists, threw a punch at his face. Yifan staggered backwards as Luhan seethed in anger. Tension was high between the trio. Everyone stopped and stared. TIme was running in slow motion.

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE?” Luhan screamed when he turned back to face Junmyun, who was avoiding his eyes. “I’M ASKING YOU, KIM JUN MYUN. WHY. DID. YOU. LEAVE. US?”

“Han ah...I just want the best for y-”

“The best for me? Do you know how much I have suffered in that house?” Luhan pushed Junmyun into the wall, leaving the other with no way out. His voice was shaky. Luhan held in a breath. “Everytime I win at a soccer match, I just want someone to congratulate me. With sincere words, not...not like those fake people who only flatter me into being their friends. Every time he brings a different woman home, I just wish I have a mother to hug me and sing me to sleep...just to sing me to sleep...Just a lullaby. Is that too much to ask? , they are loud! Sometimes I even wonder how daddy could keep his drive that active, considering that he goes on all, night, long...” Luhan chuckled sardonically, eyes blood red, on the verge of tears.  “...Yet you think it would be best for me?”

“I... I didn’t know, Han...”

“What should I call you now, Suho-hyung? Omma? Mama? Omoni?” Luhan laughed out loud. But the pain was eating into his skin, hurting like acid.

“I...I don’t expect you to...”

The words were stuck in Junmyun’s throat. Every word that he wanted to say, vanished when Luhan broke down in front of him. He sent Yifan a pleading look, but the older was helpless.

“Why him? Why not me?” Luhan wailed as he sent weak punches into Junmyun’s chest, but it felt like his heart was failing, not pumping enough blood.

“Sehun he’s...”

“Tell me! Why!”

“Please don’t hate him, Han. Please, he’s your twin brother!” Junmyun begged as he dropped down onto his knees before Luhan.

“My twin brother? Since when? Just because we share the same blood, doesn’t mean that I accept him as my brother!” Luhan shook the other’s hands off his legs. Junmyun fell backwards at the force.

So this is what it feels like to die a million deaths...over and over again until destiny deems it enough.

“They said we were going to lose you both because you were premature and so...so small and delicate.” Junmyun gulped, staring into the distance, not meeting his son’s brown eyes. His life flashed before him as he went back to the day, so many years ago, that he lied on that operating table and out his life in the hands of people he hardly knew.

“You have always been the stronger one. You came out first and...I was so...so proud that you made it. But Sehun...  His neck was caught on the birth cord...His heartbeat was barely there. He didn’t cry until a long while after they took him out. He had a bad lung and a bad heart. He needed to be in special care nursery for weeks...I thought...I thought he wouldn’t survive. But he did and it was the most miraculous thing that ever happened to me.”  

Luhan was silent for a while, but the anger in his eyes were still there. Void of sympathy. Void of love.

“So? I gave him 3 packets of my blood. Isn’t that enough?”

Junmyun closed his eyes as he tried to suppress the painful memory. He couldn’t let Luhan see his tears. He couldn’t tell Luhan that, You took most of the life force, and...and when it was his turn to come out, it was too late to fix what’s been done.

“I wanted to take you with me, too, but...They were chasing us and I almost dropped you. I knew I couldn’t afford to raise you, and decided that I don’t want you to suffer the way I did...The Wu would be best for you...please, don’t hate him. All he’s ever wanted is to be a normal, healthy boy.”

Luhan laughed for a good while until Yifan grabbed his shirt and slapped him hard across his cheek.

Luhan widened his eyes.

It was the first time his father ever cared.

a/n: i would say that this is the last , ever, in this story, and that from next chapter on there would only be either fluff, , or somewhere in between. But dont trust me

not sorry tho :v but krisho is warming up to each other again, so thats a good thing right? 

don't give up on hunhan, sekai and chanhun yet~ this is only the BEGINNING *CRIES*