Am I strange – Lee Hi

            WHAT a judgemental world we live in where someone can be sacked from his job and have his name and picture plastered across a popular paper for a single misdemeanour committed two decades ago, when he was at an age when many kids are still at school.

            In short, status and image of a person are two important facts that greatly affect the way people judge you. To be precise, it can be the permanent label of what kind of person you are. Since my parents were long gone and whatsoever relatives that do not exist, there is no status of mine that can be ‘judged’ from my blank family background. I could only work hard on my image to at least have a peaceful life.

 However, only until middle school, I realized that my effort was futile. I was already marked as ‘the girl that one should not befriended with’. This was due to the background of my guardian whom I look upon to with high gratitude. In fact, I could only understand the meaning of my label to the others recently as a sophomore in high school. Eventually, I gave up my efforts to build up the ‘good’ image that will never ever exist in the name of, Lee Ji Eun

            Ironic enough, instead of feeling frustrated that my past efforts were flushed down to the drain, I actually felt relieved and relaxed. No longer, I have to stand around on tiptoes to avoid stepping on the tails of those around me while carrying out unnecessary duties just to be on their good sides. Can’t believe that I only get to have the first taste of how a life should be in the eighteenth year of my lifespan.

 Back to my so called marking as ‘the girl that one should not befriend with’, it all began when those in the neighbourhood confirmed that I am indeed under the care of Red(my guardian) since like forever? Yes, she provided me shelter, food, fulfilling any of my needs, but she never acted as the parental figure nor I acknowledged her as one too She was just my guardian, no more no less. You can totally imagine the first word I ever spoke was Red, just like how she preferred me to address her.

            Red had always been in the ‘bad influence’ category in the mothers’ gossip columns. She was always seen to be around extraordinary beautiful people and showed up in the dangerous areas of the city that led to one stupid conclusion of theirs – Red providing service in a brothel or in charge of a den of iniquity. So, unsurprisingly, I am in fact an apprentice of Red or so I heard.

            Like I mentioned earlier, most human beings mainly judge a person with one’s status and image. Adding a few missing words: They tend to judge carelessly or rather how they wanted a person to be like when they are blinded by one ugly emotion, jealousy. What can I say, apparently Red was rather opulent in the aspect of finance. Of course, myself under her care, do get to enjoy this privilege.

 Red rarely came home, usually away for her ‘business’ that mostly took up weeks of time, even months too, so I was pretty much used to stay alone, though occasionally Red’s quiet and calm voice came from the phone but we never talked much so the conversation never lasted longer than five minutes. Not that we were awkward with each other, but rather we are not much of a talker and we are fine with that too.

 When I was in the self-pity mood since I was going to spend this summer holidays the same old boring way like before. However, I was immediately corrected by how Red suddenly barged into the huge entrance of our domicile, then to my bedroom in the wee hours. It had been..Weeks( I have lost count) since I last saw her. “Sorry for the short notice, but I’m going to have you stay at a summer house for the rest of the holidays and we are leaving now.”

 I was never much of a person that questions. In fact, I was too thrilled at the moment to not even bother throwing a random ‘why’ at Red. Just scrambling down from the bed and hastily grabbed my purse, of course, my guitar as well. Then I made a beeline towards the car that was waiting outside. I even missed the weariness on Red’s usual composed face.

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            Stirring awake from my nap in the car, I managed to take a glimpse of the passing road sign before focusing on the dashboard of the car that showed the time. 5:27. Only roughly 2 hours of driving and we are already reaching Uljin? That was fast.. I was about to open my mouth to say something to Red that had her eyes closed, but as the car drove our way up to the beautiful tree-lined hill, I couldn’t help but to decide delaying what I intended to say and simply enjoy the sight of the beautiful nature.

            I never liked the dull, suffocated and grey feelings in the urban city of Seoul. Hence, being in the midst of greens and brown, somehow comforted me as if this was where I truly belonged to. Though the sun had yet to rise, I was able to see dirt roads leading into the trees, houses poked through the forest here and there. Lovely

            Soon, I could no longer see other houses as if we were on a private road. Feeling the decreased speed of the car, I sat straighter in my seat to see the front as we were turning into a corner. The first thing I saw was the mirror-like surface of a lake that seemed to glitter as the area began to brighten up. “You like it?” Nodding my head at Red’s question, my eyes continue to travel from the lake to the square-shaped deck that was made out of stone. Undeniably luxurious yet heart warming house in the middle of the pine forest. Climbing out of the car as soon as it stopped, Red did the same shortly and stood behind me as I looked around, absorbing the scene in front.

            “I would like to stay and tour you around...But I suppose exploring a new place on your own is exciting as well.” Red squeezed my forearm slightly, as I turned around, beaming a grin at her. “I guess, so the things I need are all inside?” “Yes, even those you might not need are well-stocked too.” Red offered a small smile and suddenly I managed to see a flash of sadness and longing in her set of eyes, looking aged and tired despite the neat and attractive eye makeup. Red never told me how old was she, though on the exterior, she was a gorgeous lady in her thirties, but I had a feeling she was older than her appearance.

            The sudden intrude of sunlight blinded me for a moment, but as soon as my vision recovered, Red was back to her emotionless face. She hesitated as she brushed her fingers across my left cheek, but afterwards, she pulled me into a hug. Taken off guard by Red’s sudden show of affection, my hands hung awkwardly beside my hips and before I could even return her hug, she stepped away. Casting a side glance to me, Red climbed into the car, but a faint ‘Take care’ was heard and the car drove off, leaving dust on the dirt road to swirl up and settling down shortly.

            I really do wonder what kind of job Red did to afford such luxury even in the middle of nowhere as I continued to be mesmerized by the house in front. Tightening the strap of the guitar on my shoulder, I went along the stone pavements that lead to the entrance of the house. This summer sure is different.

 Definitely different.

So cute ><