“Jello, don’t come out of the room okay? I’ll just have a talk with mom.” Yongguk told the twelve-year-old kid one night.

Junhong nodded slowly, eyeing his brother with wide eyes as he sat himself in the corner, his arms wrapped around his scrawny legs.

That night their mother had shouted at Yongguk, telling him about how useless he was. Being the curious kid he was, Junhong had eavesdropped their conversation.

“You’re just like your father! Useless fool! You can’t even get a proper job! I can’t be the only one who works in this family; I have a son to feed!”

“Mom, you’re drunk. Please go to sleep or Junhong would hear you.” Yongguk’s voice was as soft as the summer breeze.

“Don’t touch me you useless fool! You’re not my son!”

Junhong grew mad at the remark. He stormed out of the room and screamed at his mother for hurting Yongguk’s feelings.

“Jello, it’s okay.” Yongguk smiled at him and that was when he asked him to stay in his room.

Junhong shut his eyes, covering his ears as his mother started yelling again. Her voice was inhumanly loud. Junhong could feel his ears ringing. He didn’t like his mother’s harsh voice. She was supposed to talk in a gentle voice, just like the way she used to do when they were a happy family, before his father left them to marry someone else.

“I’m leaving.”

Junhong opened his eyes that instant.

“But, mom.” Yongguk tried reasoning. “You can’t leave. Junhong needs you.”

“I don’t care about any of you anymore. I’m leaving and that’s that.”

“Mom!”

When Junhong stepped out of his room, he saw Yongguk sitting on the couch, his face buried in his palms. Junhong placed his hand on Yongguk’s and stared at his brother silently. Then Yongguk looked up at him and smiled, his eyes b with tears. They looked like glass. Junhong thought that they would break into million pieces if tears came out of them.

“Mom’s not coming back, Jello. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…I can’t stop her this time.”

Junhong didn’t say anything. Instead, he gave his brother a tight hug.

Their mom left them. They had trusted her. But she betrayed them.

♦

“Junhong, you need to be adopted.” The warden said to him one Saturday morning.

Junhong looked up to meet the old man’s eyes. There were bags under his eyes, wrinkles at the corners. He always looked tired to him. Junhong wondered whether he got to sleep peacefully at night. The kids at the orphanage were hard to look after. They often caused trouble and the warden would always be there to make everything alright.

He was a great man but Junhong couldn’t let himself open up to him. Not that he hated him. Junhong was just being careful around adults.

“You need to be adopted,” the warden repeated once their eyes met. “Your performance in school is not that good. You’re almost 18. Soon you’ll finish high school. You know what that means. You’ll have to leave the orphanage. But without scholarships…I’m not really happy about releasing you to the outside world alone.”

Junhong stared down at his hands and chewed on his lower lip. He knew exactly what the old man was telling him.

He didn’t want to be adopted. He felt like he would be a burden to his foster parents. He’d been adopted twice before and he had a hard time warming up with his foster family. He felt like an outcast. He didn’t like it.

 Yongguk might also be the reason why he didn’t like to be adopted when he was little. Since the day their mother left them, Yongguk had to work day and night to support both of them. Once in a while, an officer would come to their house, observing Junhong’s condition.

Junhong had been taken away from Yongguk twice.

But he returned home when his foster family realized that he didn’t want to be with them.

Life was tough for both of them but Junhong was happy because he knew Yongguk was. As long as they lived together only then they would be able to enjoy life.

But then misfortune befell them, mostly on Yongguk.

He left Junhong. He passed away, killed by Himchan.

Junhong hated his life since then.

“I’ll help you to find a good family. I’m sure there are lots of them out there,” the warden tried to smile but his tired face wouldn’t let him. He ended up frowning all the time. With a sad sigh, he placed a hand on Junhong’s shoulder. “It’s really rare for people to adopt an eighteen year old though. But it’s okay, I’ll help you in any way I can.” 

Junhong didn’t say anything to him as he left the hall. Junhong stayed seated on the bench, staring out the window that overlooked the garden.

He could hear the kids screaming out in joy as they ran around the garden. They sounded happy although their families were no longer with them.

What made them happy? Why couldn’t Junhong be happy living there?

Junhong shook the thoughts away and made his way out of the orphanage—without anyone knowing, of course. He’d been sneaking out since his first day.

When he reached the gate, he saw someone familiar entering the orphanage. He strained his eyes to look at the person.

“Ah, Mr. Kim!” the warden greeted the person.

Junhong’s eyes widened.

It was Himchan. He wasn’t alone though. There was a little boy standing beside him. The boy looked sad, lips pouting and hands curled into fists. His eyes were red rimmed. He’d been crying.

The three went into the building.

Curious, Junhong decided to put aside his plan to sneak out and instead, followed the three into the building.

“I don’t wanna live here!” the boy shouted as soon as they entered the building.

“Chungsik, it’s okay.” Himchan bent down to meet the boy’s eyes, placing his hands on his shoulders. “The kids are nice. You’ll like it here.”

“No!” the boy screamed, tears rolling down his chubby cheeks. “I want to go home! I want to be with my mom!”

“She can’t take care of you, Chungsik.” Himchan smiled apologetically. “She’s not healthy. She has to receive treatment first. When she’s stable, she’ll come back to get you, okay?”

“I want my mom…” Chungsik cried, his shoulders sagging.

Himchan didn’t say anything else after that. He only gave the boy a hug and patted his head.

Junhong was about to walk away when Himchan spotted him. Their eyes met for a brief moment. Junhong avoided them quickly and left.

“Junhong, wait.” Himchan called out when Junhong was outside, heading towards the garden.

Junhong stopped. He didn’t know why but he did it anyway. He turned around and stared at Himchan.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you for a long time.” Himchan smiled, slowly walking towards Junhong. “How are you? Are you doing fine at school?”

Junhong looked at the nametag that was dangling around Himchan’s neck.

Kim Himchan.

“You must be wondering why I came here.” Himchan broke the silence, knowing that the possibility for Junhong to speak was slim. “I’m here to do my job. I’m a social service officer. To put it in a simple way, I help children to live comfortably. If their guardian failed to take care of them—like providing food and clothes—I would take them to a better place.”

Junhong stared at the ground for a while, trying to digest Himchan’s words completely.

So Himchan was one of those people who liked taking away little kids from their beloved ones. Just like the officer who took Junhong away from Yongguk years ago.

Junhong decided to resent Himchan more the moment he found out what his job was.

“You’re eighteen, am I right?” Himchan questioned him but when the younger one didn’t respond, he decided to continue. “Are you doing well in your school? Do you think you can go to the university? I hope you’re doing okay because soon you would leave the orphanage…and you won’t have a place to stay. Have you ever thought about living with foster family?”

Junhong blinked and glared at Himchan.

What was he trying to do? Was he attempting to make him live with a bunch of strangers?

Junhong hated the idea of living with a foster family.

Without answering his questions, Junhong his heels and walked away.

He didn’t want to see him but he kept appearing out of nowhere.

What was fate trying to do?

He didn’t like being tied up with the murderer.

He loathed him and that wouldn’t change for as long as Junhong lived.

All Junhong wanted to do was wait for Yongguk

And he would do that for the rest of his life.