“You’ll love this place son,” the warden patted Junhong on the shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Junhong stared at the warden emotionlessly, his face as stiff as a plank. He couldn’t smile. He couldn’t even talk. He felt empty. Something was missing. “The kids here are bright and friendly. I’m sure you’ll make friends soon.”

Junhong could only nod as he entered his room.

When he was sure that the warden had walked away, he settled his luggage down on the floor and gazed at the lone window in the room blankly. He didn’t even know how he ended up at the orphanage. The place was so unwelcoming that he felt it hard to breathe. He didn’t like the unsettling feeling that was burbling inside him.

“Hey there!” an awkward voice greeted him.

Junhong turned around to find a boy who was a bit shorter than him staring at him with a bright smile on his face.

“So you’re my new roommate? Cool! I’m Youngjae by the way.” the boy extended his hand towards Junhong and waited for the latter to shake it. When Youngjae realized that Junhong wasn’t going to shake it, he merely shrugged and entered the room. “Make yourself comfortable. Come by at the garden and join us to play soccer, kay?”

Junhong didn’t respond. Instead, he dropped his gaze to the floor and bit his lower lip which was already bleeding.

“Dude, you’re hurting yourself! Why would you do that?” Youngjae approached him and stared at his bruised lips. “Well…I heard about your brother’s death and-”

Junhong shoved him away before he could say anything else. Youngjae tried chasing after him but Junhong had run outside of the orphanage way before Youngjae could get up from the floor.

♦

Junhong kept on running, ignoring every stare that was directed to him. He ran and ran and ran until he felt like his lungs would explode into smithereens. He only stopped when he reached a telephone booth. The sky was upset again that day. It would rain soon, the eighteen-year-old boy thought.

Gasping for air, Junhong stepped into the telephone booth and dialed a number which he’d carved deeply into his heart.

The moment he’d finished dialing the number, he pressed the receiver closer to his mouth.

“Yongguk hyung, it’s me, Jello.” Junhong chuckled, still breathing hard. He could listen to his own heartbeat. It was pounding rapidly against his chest. Somehow, it made him feel a bit calm. But to him, talking through the phone with the one he loved was way better to make him feel calmer. “Yongguk hyung, where are you? When will you pick me up? I’ll wait for you at the orphanage. I’ll wait…”

Junhong stopped for a while to catch his breath. Then he let out a mirthless laugh and continued to talk despite the long beep coming from the phone.  

“I’ll wait even if it takes you a long time to find me. I promise hyung. I’ll wait even if I have to wait forever…” Junhong held a hand over his mouth and closed his eyes. “Yongguk hyung, where are you? I really wanna meet you now. I need you, hyung. Please come back. I need you…”

Junhong returned the receiver back to its rightful place and squatted on the floor, burying his face against his trembling knees. It had started raining. Everyone was scurrying for shelter so the street was nearly empty.

Junhong lifted his head and stared at the carless road blankly. He felt empty. Always empty since the day his brother left him. Something was missing and it pained him just to think about it.    

His fingers were numb from the cold temperature. But he didn’t want to go back to the orphanage. He didn’t want to live there. He wanted to live with his brother, Yongguk.

Yongguk hyung will come for me.

As Junhong repeated the words silently, he stared at a small white car that was parked at the sidewalk right in front of a convenience store. A young man with brown hair stepped out of the car.

Junhong squinted his eyes; trying to get a better look at the owner of the car.

Rubbing his eyes, the teenage boy got out of the booth and almost ran towards the white car. When he was a few steps away from the car, he eyed the young man who had his back to him. The young man was struggling with his see-through umbrella. Junhong stood still and kept on staring.

The young man was familiar—freaking familiar to Junhong.

Junhong had seen him before-

As realization struck him right into his head, Junhong gawped at the person he’d been watching.

He knew who he was.

He recognized those eyes as they stared back at him.

“Hey, there kid,” the young man greeted him as he creased his forehead. “Why are you standing there? It’s raining.”

Junhong didn’t respond. Instead, he walked away from the young man.

Then he quickened his pace.

And the next thing he knew, he was running.