It is not the best way to wake up in the morning because of my phone ringing. A week after the board exams means I should be getting more sleep because all my worries are finally over and the only thing I should be fussing over is the results. With my face still buried on the pillow, I reached out and fumbled for my phone on the bedside table.

No matter who you are, regardless of how important you are to me, if you wake me up at eight in the morning, I will ki— "Did I wake you up?" Jihyuk's voice sounded even before I could press the phone against my ear.

Struggling to get up, "No, not really," I said.

And she laughed. "You're a terrible liar. Anyway, open your door because I've been waiting in the living room for, like, half an hour."

I hung up and opened the door. True enough, she was standing outside with the usual attire. Did she sleep in those clothes? Doesn't she have any other clothes besides shirts and jeans and skirts and long-sleeved polos? These were the questions I've had lingering on my tongue for weeks. But nonetheless, she invited herself in while I climbed back up the bed and lay down — not trying to be suggestive or anything. Just sleepy.

"We have to talk," she started, sitting by the foot of the bed and watching me.

A feeling of fear spiraled up inside me and I lifted my head up to stare at her. She had a grave yet stern expression, leading me to think that this was it. I was too boring and she grew bored and now she's slipping. Who was he? Was he a teacher in the same school as her? Where did they meet? When?

"I-I'm sorry," Jihyuk said, raking a hand through her hair. "I don't know how to make this easier. It's just—" She cut herself off to scoot closer to me. Before she opened to speak once more, Jihyuk eyed me closely before leaning down to kiss me. It was supposed to be just a simple peck, but I held her face in between my hands to prolong it. And I kissed her desperately, a call to surrender. 

After a while, she pushed herself up and pulled away. Her eyes were bright and keen for a moment, but returned to the previous dullness. Jihyuk looked down and fidgeted nervously. "Here goes nothing," she muttered and took a deep breath. Softly, almost a whisper and with the same apologetic expression, "You passed the board exams," she said.

And I swear at that moment I was most grateful for lying down on my bed or else I would have fallen flat on the floor from my unnecessary panicking. I pulled her into bed and embraced the living daylights out of her. "And I thought you were going to break up with me," I said, sighing in relief.

"Ya!" she exclaimed almost angrily. She left my side and sat upright in front of me. "I just said you passed the board exams," she repeated.

Still awashed in the delight of her not leaving me, "It's okay. I could take the exams again next year. I mean, my brother would kill me if he knew that I failed, but that would come la— Wait did you just say that I passed?" I blabbered out all at once. Now with a wide grin plastered across her face, she was back to the Jihyuk I knew.

"The results were on the newspaper, you babo. I'm surprised Siwon hasn't told you yet, but at least now you know. It nearly got me blind to look for your name out of all the Lee's. And besides, you're the top 14th passer so you should buy me food," she informed.

"You know quite well that if you haven't disturbed me that day in the library when we first met I could have been the 10th, right?" I said jokingly. "And why did you announce the news that way? So stern and so serious. I almost died of a heart attack, if you only knew."

She laughed and laid down right next to me. Looking up at the ceiling, "What happens now?" she asked softly.

I sighed. What will happen next? "I'm going to work soon where Donghwa is." Turning to her, "Me and you. A doctor and a teacher — doesn't that sound good?" I suggested.

She closed her eyes and smiled. "It does." And it seems like she has fallen asleep just after a few minutes. When Jihyuk opened her eyes, I knew right then what was about to happen. "Oppa."

Laughing, "Whatever it is that you want, I'm sure it involves me buying you food or me doing something ridiculous. Right now, I'm telling you no," I declared.

She sat up, crossing her arms over her chest. "I am definitely not THAT predictable," Jihyuk defended, her lower lip jutting in defeat.

"Yes, you ARE." Following suit, I sat up and faced her. "The last time you went 'Oppa~' was when we were at your house. It just turned out that you found Sunmi's makeup kit and wanted to try it on my face," I said, recalling how I came to visit her just a few days back. It was a Saturday, I remembered, and Sunmi had left to hang out with friends or whatever. I had taken a seat on the couch and made myself comfortable while Jihyuk got up to get me a glass of water.

She wasn't the same when she returned. There was this one little thing about her that was so obvious yet so hidden and she has this certain oddness that I couldn't find anywhere else even if I tried. The way she blinks and the way she walks, how she holds the pitcher and how she pours water into a glass — everything gives her away. It was all these and more but still less because she was different and different is beautiful. Different is beautiful and Jihyuk was different and so she's beautiful and she hands me the glass with a smile on her face. "Oppa~" she calls out.

I froze, might have even turned to ice. Her smile grew wider. "You know..." she started, looking down at my hand and drawing imaginary shapes with her forefinger.”Sunmi left this on the kitchen counter and I really really want to try using it."

"What is it exactly?" I asked, barely breathing.

Then she presented to me a small pink pouch bulging at different spots. "Makeup."

I shuddered at the sudden flashback. "Oh come on! You liked having stuff on your face!" Jihyuk defended.

"I don't!"

"You do!" she shouted. "You agreed to me playing with your face and you liked me putting powder on your cheeks..." I covered my ears and pretended not to hear anything. "...and when it was all done you wanted me to take a picture of you. I still have the photo on my phone and I can show it to you—"

I cut her off and sighed. "Okay, what is it that you want now?"

She grinned for a moment, savoring yet another victory. Still smiling widely, "I want you to meet my parents," Jihyuk said.

And I froze. Just as I had back then. The only difference was that I had snapped up way too quickly this time, standing up and rushing to the bathroom to lock myself in. She might have been dumbstruck and shocked, but I locked myself in. I locked myself in the bathroom and sat on the floor with my back against the door. I locked myself in because I didn't know what to feel.

"Ya, you bastard!" she shouted from the outside while pounding on the door. Jihyuk sounded angry. "Did I say something? Stop acting like a little girl and talk to me, idiot!" she said.

Not having much guts to face her, I rested my back against the bathroom door just until the knocks had died out. "You're a real bastard, you know," she muttered one last time before I heard her feet shuffling against the carpeted floor and my bedroom door slamming shut. She was mad. No, not just mad. She was furious.

And I was furious at myself too. Because I didn't know how to respond. Because Jihyuk doesn't say 'I love you' like any normal person would. Instead, she laughs or smacks my head or playfully punches my arm and then tells me I'm a bastard. But not the lucky bastard she would take home to meet her parents. Because no, I did not deserve her.

—

"Ya, have you suddenly grown deaf that you can't hear me anymore?" Jihyuk walked past Hyukjae and stood in front of me. But I only made my way around her and continued walking. From behind, "Have I died last night and became a ghost today?" she muttered to herself.

Hearing this, Hyukjae laughed and encircled his arm around her shoulder. "You're not dead." And he dragged her along with him as he walked.

"Why doesn't he look at me?" she asked him, almost pleading. And to me she said, "You bastard, it's just one dinner. Can't you spare just one dinner for me?"

"I can't. I'm sorry," I told her.

In a second, she was back to tugging on my arm. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to. Why would you even want to introduce me to your parents?" I asked finally, coming to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk.

With knitted eyebrows and creased forehead in confusion and a hint of anger, Jihyuk tucked her hair behind her ear and looked as beautiful as ever. After a few seconds of pondering, she finally responded. "You have to meet them especially if..."

"If what?" Hyukjae chided in.

"...if we're going to get married..." she continued softly, glancing at me nervously to see if that was enough to convince me.

Laughing, "Married? You don't even call me by my first name — and I doubt if you remember what my name is — and you're already thinking of us getting married?" I exclaimed in amusement, starting to pace once again.

She, however, didn't look the least bit entertained. While trailing closely beside Hyukjae and behind me, "Of course. You said you loved me. Can you live without me?"

Without even turning to face her, "Of course I can. It's not like you're my oxygen. If we live together, do we die together too? Of course not. You live and you die alone. That's life. And I've gone through twenty six years of my life without you. Now that you're here, it's not going to change any—" I was cut off with Hyukjae grabbing my arm and spinning me around. I have ranted on and on while walking and so I hadn't realized she had already stopped following me.

While I slowly advanced towards her, she turned away, rubbing her eyes. "Aish, you're a crybaby, aren't you?" I tried with a forced laugh, but got no response. "I'm sorry, it's just..." I started but trailed off, my hand reaching up to my nape awkwardly. As we walked in silence, I pushed my luck in holding her hand, but she shied away from my grip every time.

Looking around me, I spotted a nearby McDonalds as if luck was on my side. "Are you hungry?" I asked, since buying breakfast was my original plan with Hyukjae before Jihyuk appeared out of nowhere. Still not getting a response, I pulled her by the wrists and we entered the fast food chain. "What do you want? Pick anything you like. I'll pay for it," I said as we fell in line.

Normally, I didn't even have to say that. I didn't even need to drag her inside for heavens' sake. Because the normal, happy Jihyuk would've dragged me here myself and then order a whole lot of food and then ask me to pay for it. But at the moment, she was anything but happy. Instead of pointing to everything on the menu, Jihyuk shook her head and said nothing. In the end, I still bought food for the two of us with the expectation that she would change her mind at the sight of food in front of her.

It turns out I was wrong. And I lost my appetite when she didn't do so much as stare out the window and sniffle every once in a while. Sighing in defeat, "What do you want me to do?" I asked.

This time, Jihyuk turned to look at me. She looks beautiful even when crying. "What's wrong with wanting you to meet my parents?"

And I asked myself the same. What was so wrong and difficult in agreeing to meet her parents? Maybe they were as loud and interesting as she is. "I...I can't make the commitment." And she flashed me a look that was both shocked and hurt. "I mean, I told you I love you and I meant it. I really do. And then you go around introducing me to everyone as your boyfriend when I can't even call you my girlfriend. It's just..." I sighed. "That's not the problem. You being my girlfriend without me asking is a whole lot of help, believe me. It's just that...I'm scared," I finally admitted.

She was more confused than ever. "Scared of what? I should be the one afraid of you. You don't tell me anything about you unless I ask when I already told you almost everything about myself—"

"That's the thing," I said. "You're too confident. You're like a typhoon. Like a hurricane. And I'm just...I don't know. A single drop of water? You're too confident about everything and you always have something interesting and smart to say and I'm always wondering and thinking about what I should say next and whether you would find it funny or not or whatever."

After I spoke, I just stared at her while she stared back, unfazed and unblinking. And then she smiled. Picking up my plastic cup of Coke, "Six o'clock in the evening on Saturday at my house, you bastard," she said before sipping from the straw. I am a lucky bastard indeed.

***

I miss writing~ too much school stuff >_<