“You’re not bringing me to another party, are you?” Jihyuk complained, but let herself be dragged anyway. The elevator doors opened and we entered. “Because if you are…”

She threatened to leave, but I held her in place. “It’s not another party, okay?” I assured her.

“Then why do I have to dress nicely?” she whined, examining the hems of the new dress I bought for her, the one she’s currently wearing. “I look different. I walk different.” She looked down at the new pair of shoes I forced her into. “Even my smell is different.” I laughed. “I smell so sickly sweet like a funeral.”

“Stop being so noisy, okay? You’ll know soon when we get there.”

Jihyuk groaned in impatience. “But where are we going, anyway?” As soon as she spoke, the elevator doors opened. I pulled her out by her wrists while she followed closely behind. The clanking of her shoes was the only sound that could be heard in the empty parking basement. When she entered the passenger seat of my car, she still had the same look of exasperation on her face, to which I just laughed.

As I maneuvered the car out of the area, “Tell me,” I started, looking at her from the corner of my eye. “Do you, by any chance, want us to get married?” I fought the urge to laugh at the look of surprise on her face. Maybe she hadn’t realized she had blurted that fact out when she was drunk.

But then she composed herself and looked out the window. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, you know,” I shrugged. “It’s not like we’re on our way to a church…” She looked at me accusingly. “…not like Siwon and Sunmi are there to act as witnesses and not like your parents are there too…” I stepped on the accelerator as the vehicle moving forward sent us backward on our seats. We were silent for a while, and when I had to stop at a red light, I turned to her. “Oh, and coincidentally, you’re wearing something nice, and you look beautiful as usual.” I tried to smile at her even though I couldn’t pinpoint what emotion was showing on her face right now. “And by whatever coincidence, I’m wearing something presentable too.” The light turned green and so I started driving again, my focus on the road ahead. “So tell me, do you want us to get married?”

“We’re going to a party, right?” she said, letting out a high-pitched laugh. “Or…or we’re going to visit Sunmi? Yes, we should. We should visit her. I hadn’t had the chance to visit her yesterday and I have to check on her condition now. I haven’t talked to her doctor since last week—or was it two weeks ago—“

“Whatever you say, we’re going to get married.”

While I drove, I could feel her gaze on me intently, almost boring a hole through. “This is stupid,” Jihyuk said after a while. “You know this is just words and papers, right? And my parents can’t be there. They’re busily trying to look after…and Sunmi, too. It’s just impossible. She’s not allowed to go out of the hospital, right? Ya, answer me!”

I nodded in response. “They’re there. When you were in the bathroom, I called them to make sure they were already there, waiting.”

She sighed, and I knew she was just gathering up ideas for the next time she speaks. This time, Jihyuk said, “You know there’s no getting out of this, right? This is…” she took a deep breath, “…a lifetime. And that’s…that’s a really long time. You have to be consistent with this, with me. You can’t possibly stick to one decision for the rest of your life.”

“I can do it, you’ll see,” I said without turning to look at her.

“You can do it?” she challenged. “You can stick to one decision for a long time? Can you always be patient with me when I’m practicing how to skate? Won’t you get tired of always just being the one to put the disc on the DVD player? Can I trust you to remind me where I last put my pens when it’s late at night and I’m panicking because I can’t find them?”

I parked by the curb as soon as the church came into view. The engine died as soon as I pulled the keys out. My heart was beating right out of my chest and my palms were sweating a river. Without taking my seatbelt off, “You know you can tell me a lot of these things, but you can’t stop me from marrying you,” I said.

She was fidgeting with her fingers, indicating how she was just as nervous as I was. “Why not?”

“Because I love you,” I exhaled. “And I can’t imagine myself with anyone else.” I pulled her into my arms, even in the small space we had inside my car. I almost couldn’t contain my happiness when she hugged me back, her arms providing me sufficient warmth. It was the middle of February with the coldness from the previous winter still lingering, but boy did it feel like summer.

***

It was only when she had poked my cheek that I realized I had fallen asleep. I yawned and stretched, my head never leaving its spot on her shoulder. “You’re still on the same page?” I asked, shocked with the realization that the page she was reading when I had fallen asleep is the same page she was reading now that I’m awake. She rubbed her eyes and that’s when I knew she had fallen asleep too.

I chuckled, kissed her cheek, and left the bed to wear my clothes and go to the bathroom. It was just a few minutes after sunrise and Jihyuk obviously had no plans of getting up, nor of getting dressed. She was still absorbed in her book. “You want some breakfast?” she asked when I returned, and I just shook my head no. I sat by the piano and began playing softly. Though old and ignored at times, the piano still worked its magic. Throughout the octaves and melodies, a small laugh erupted from her lips.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, never turning away from the piano.

I heard the book close and Jihyuk bundled up more comfortably in bed. “One of the books you gave me is funny,” she said. When I didn’t speak, she continued. “It says this earth is hell.”

“You found that funny?”

She giggled more. “Yes.”

“Hmm,” I nodded thoughtfully. “How did that come about? This earth is hell on what grounds?”

“Well,” Jihyuk started. “There’s also this concept of the past life. See, we have been sinners in our past lives and now we’re condemned to live and relive our sins until we learn our lesson.”

I smiled. “That is funny.”

“I told you so.” She yawned, and I closed my eyes while still playing the piano.

“Don’t you think it’s possible, though?”

“What is?” she asked, voice heavy with sleep.

I repeated the piece from the start, now softer and more gently. “This earth being hell. Do you think it’s possible?”

She was silent for a while before she replied, “‘Hell is empty, because all the devils are here,’” Jihyuk said, quoting Shakespeare. Her voice perfectly blends with the piano, and I relished the sound of her voice. “Maybe it’s true. I’m not fully agreeing, but I’m not saying it’s impossible either. There’s black and there’s white, and I’m the gray area. I’m in the middle. I don’t know. The concept still confuses me,” she said. “What about you?”

“I think it’s true,” I said. “When you go out and see homeless people and calamities and conflicts, you’ll realize that this is hell. This is suffering. This is pain. This is agony. And you don’t have to ask why this is happening to you, because you deserve it. Everyone deserves it. And we’re all just misguided souls looking for a way out.”

She didn’t respond for a while, so I continued playing. The sun continued to rise as the minutes passed, as I could feel the sunlight beating down on my . I looked back at Jihyuk and saw how she had fallen asleep. What if this really was hell, and everything is a parody of the real earth? With these thoughts in mind, I pulled the blinds down, climbed up the bed and laid down beside her.

I could stare at her forever, the way she sleeps so peacefully like she could never be bothered by anything and the way she talks about everything so passionately like everything is her favorite book. So what if this earth was hell? It was early in the morning and Jihyuk fell asleep to the sound of the piano and the sound of my voice. It was early in the morning and I was lying down beside her. I caressed the side of her face and this – I thought – this was my little piece of heaven. I snuggled close to her side and closed my eyes, muttering, “Good morning, Mrs. Lee.”