I closed the door as gently as I could. Jihyuk stirred in her sleep, just as she always does whenever I come home late, and sat up, rubbing her eyes. “You’re home,” she mumbled and shuffled out of bed. It was almost as if she was sleepwalking. She slowly approached to loosen my tie and my shirt.

“I can do it myself. Go back to bed,” I said, prying her hands away but she insisted. I was about to fall asleep standing up if not for a nudge from Jihyuk as she handed me a shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

I collapsed on the bed while pulling her with me. It was one thing to have a girlfriend, and another to have a girlfriend living with you. Siwon referred to Jihyuk as my wife. Wife. The term had me chewing on the insides of my cheeks. We were hanging out at home that day.

As soon as I had popped in the disc of the movie we were about to watch, Siwon had clung onto Hyukjae’s ankles which were dangling from the couch. He was sitting beside Jihyuk while constantly grabbing handfuls of popcorn from the bowl in her hands. “Ya,” Siwon called out. “Sit beside me here.” He patted the space beside him on the carpeted floor. “Let Donghae and his wife be lovey-dovey on the couch.”

It was a hands-off topic that would have to be settled sometime in the future, but not now and not with my friends around. Hyuk choked on what he was eating and Jihyuk had to pat him on the back. Good thing I was busy operating the TV and the DVD player. “Ya,” I countered shakily. “Don’t get ahead of us.”

And then there was silence. As soon as I had resumed my previous position by Jihyuk’s side, Hyukjae was already sprawled on the floor and Jihyuk’s attention wasn’t on the movie. She was picking at the popcorn, digging on the deepest part of the bowl and wiping her hands off the butter with her shirt.

It had been three months since we started living together, and I knew right then that it was a good decision to start living together with her. “What about dinner?” Jihyuk asked suddenly, snapping me from my thoughts.

“Dinner at midnight?” I chuckled before kissing the top of her head and closing my eyes. “I’ll just eat breakfast tomorrow. Don’t worry about me and go back to sleep.”

***

“You’re awake,” I exclaimed, coming out of the shower and seeing Jihyuk yawning and rubbing her eyes. Climbing back to bed, she remained still. “There’s breakfast at the table.”

“What are you going to do today?” she asked.

Under the covers, I snuggled closer to her. “I have paper works to finish today.” I sighed. “Ugh, I’m so exhausted.”

“You leave early every morning to go to work. You come back home late because of work. During the weekend, you wake up and work. Eat, and then go back to work. Watch TV for a while, then resume work again.” Turning to me, she said, “You’re working too much that I miss you already.”

I laughed, pecking her puckered lips briefly. “I’m sorry, okay? I want to spend time with you but my job takes up most of it,” I said. “If you feel bored, go out with Hyuk for the meantime, okay? That guy has the most flexible work schedule I’ve ever known.”

Jihyuk whined, flipping over to lay her head on my chest and her arm around my waist. “I’m so sick of seeing that monkey every day. I don’t even know how you got to live with him for so long. With that attitude of his? Psh. Even a maid wouldn’t be able to stay with him for more than a week.”

“Eh, you’re so close to him now,” I teased, poking her nose.

She swatted my hand away. “I’m not!”

“You are,” I said. “I went home a little early one night and you were both sleeping on the couch.” I remembered carefully closing the door so as not to make noise after seeing the two of them soundly asleep on the couch. She had her feet on his lap while Hyukjae slept with his mouth hanging open. They must have fallen asleep while watching television.

“Ya, we were both tired,” Jihyuk defended. “I had him clean his room while I fixed your room. I was so tired after doing chores and when you found out, you lashed at me, not even thanking me for my efforts…”

“I said I was sorry,” I protested, kissing her forehead. “I just… I like getting things where I left them. It just gets me crazy trying to find my stuff because they’re nowhere to be seen because someone just happened to clean my room,” I said. “But back to my point, Hyuk’s my best friend and I hope you get close with him too.”

“I watched a movie with him once…” Jihyuk added thoughtfully. “It was awful. He was talking all throughout the movie.” I chuckled, but she turned to my direction. “Can you please spare a day for me?”

I just watched her pleading eyes. When I didn’t respond, she sighed. “Half a day?”

Eyes getting glossier by the second, “Even just an hour?” she tried again. “Please?”

I exhaled, probing her cheek. “I’m sorry. I can’t promise you anything,” I explained. “They hold my time in their hands. Even if I’m in the bathroom, even if I’m eating, or even in the middle of the night, they can call me and I have to be there. That’s…” Jihyuk had already looked away. “That’s just my job.”

She looked at me only to see me frowning. “Ah jinjja,” Jihyuk exclaimed, burying her face on my neck. “Don’t feel burdened by me so much.” And then softly, she added, “I just missed you a lot, that’s all.”

I kissed the top of her head as I felt my heart grow heavier. “Come on, let’s eat breakfast.” And she was more than happy to oblige.

Sitting across from me, Jihyuk was all smiles as she ate her food. She shifted in her seat more comfortably. “I have something to ask you,” she said slowly, weighing each word.

Suddenly, a bedroom door opened. “Good morning, Hae,” he muttered. “You’re here too, Hyuk twin.”

The coffee got caught up in my throat. “Hyuk twin?”

Jihyuk had the worst look of disgust on her face. “How many times have I told you not to call me that? Just because we both have Hyuk in our names doesn’t mean you can call me your twin.”

The other just shrugged and proceeded to take his seat. The two stared at each other for a while, and I knew for sure it had something to do with me. “What is it?” I asked self consciously.

“Have you asked him yet?” Hyukjae whispered.

Jihyuk hit him on the arm. “I was about to and then you came out.”

“What… what about me?” I scratched my head in confusion.

“Do you want me to say it for you?” the man offered.

“Ani, I can do it. Just don’t interrupt, okay?” Turning to me, Jihyuk said, “The thing is…” she paused and looked everywhere – from the ceiling to the floor then to her food – except at me. “I don’t do much here at home. I mean, there’s no difference between my weekdays and my weekends. On weekdays, I just make breakfast for you two and then you’re both off to work. From morning until the afternoon I have the house to myself unless Hyukjae decides not to go to work. On weekends, I’m also at home. The only difference is that you two are with me here…”

“Just get straight to the point,” Hyukjae mumbled, chewing on his bread.

“So… since I’ve been moping around the house for three months since I moved in, I was thinking if… maybe I could go back to teaching?” Jihyuk said faintly before her head dropped low. “I just missed being in the classroom and being with little children and stamping stars on tiny hands…” When she looked up and saw my stern expression, “… Or if you don’t want me to, it’s fine with me,” she quickly added.

I thought about it for a while. She had given up everything she had in a second without hesitating, because her sister’s life meant so much as if it was her own life that was on the line. And it wasn’t as if she was obliged to help. It wasn’t as if Sunmi asked her to give up all those things – her life, her passion, her time, even me. She had given me up for Sunmi – not that I feel bad about it. I could never imagine how Jihyuk had endured the way that she did. But she couldn’t just sit there, watching people get on with their lives at the expense of hers, and then call it unconditional love because it isn’t. And now she was starting to pick up things where she left them, starting over like nothing happened. I flashed her a smile. “I think that’s great.” And I said that because I really did think so.

“Really?” Her eyes were twinkling like stars.

I nodded and she continued eating happily. “See?” Hyukjae bragged at her. “You couldn’t have done it without my help.” She nodded mockingly and shoved a piece of bread in his mouth to shut him up. I laughed, and Hyukjae kept glancing at her with a huge grin on his face.