I'm guessing no one sleeps with someone on a bench, accompanies someone to McDonalds, talks to someone on the phone for a night and then fall in love with him or her. No one except me. And believe me, it was hard not to. Just like how it was similarly difficult to decide when Jihyuk asked me to go to school with her.

"For show and tell," she explained, tugging at my arm as we sat side by side on the couch that lazy Sunday morning. "Please?"

I sat upright. "For show and tell?" I repeated, to which she just nodded. "I thought show and tell was only for the students and not the teacher."

She frowned and crossed her arms. "Okay," she said and nothing more.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"No," she said.

"Okay," I echoed, not knowing what to do next. Then we watched the television in silence. The words have run dry and my mind was just blank. I never knew being this inexperienced would get back at me later on. After we had kissed that night I confessed to her, I never wanted to leave her porch even if a thousand storms poured down on me.

When the commercials rolled, Jihyuk looked at me, her lower lip jutting out. In a soft yet firm voice, she said, "I hate you." And then she stood up and left, leaving me confused and wondering. Was refusing her offer so offensive? Did I do something wrong? I glanced at the door as she walked out. Did she want me to follow after her? Should I?

Fourteen minutes after, I found myself sitting on the couch and laughing as the credits rolled. "Did you see how–" I turned to my left, clearly forgetting that my only companion had left. Jihyuk was not yet back. I stood up, but did not follow her. I did not even know where she had gone to. Instead, I went to Hyukjae's room after knocking. He was sitting in the middle of his bed and hunched over his laptop. He didn't even mutter so much as a greeting.

"Hey Hyuk," I called out, walking over to his bed and laying back. "What does it mean when a girl leaves?"

"She left?" he said. "I thought you two were watching TV."

"We were," I said. "But then she stood up and left."

"What did you two talk about before that?" he pressed. "She wouldn't just get up and march out without a problem unless she's angry."

I sat up. "That meant she was angry?" And to myself, I added, "But when I asked her, she said she wasn't angry..."

The next thing I knew, he had slammed his laptop shut and turned to face me. With a stern look, "Donghae, if there's one thing you should know about girls that they don't teach you in school, it's that no one ever understand girls but themselves. Wait here," he said. He stood up, turning his room upside down in search of something. When he finally found it, he handed me a notebook. "This is a manual for understanding girls."

I flipped through the pages quickly but was surprised to see only blank, white pages. "But it's empty..."

"Exactly." And he snatched the notebook from my hands again. "What did you two talk about before she stood up and left?"

And so I told him. I told him about her inviting me to go to school with her and me refusing. I told him about me asking her if she was mad and her saying she wasn't. I told Hyukjae about the commercial break and her telling me she hates me. I told him about her walking away and me just watching her leave. After that, Hyukjae held me by the shoulders and breathed deeply.

"Tell me something," he said. "Do you love her?"

I burst out laughing at how unnecessarily serious he was. As a result, I ended up getting slapped on my right cheek. "What was that for?" I yelled, cupping my stinging cheek. What was the problem with this guy?

"Do you love Jihyuk?" he repeated, louder and more demanding of an answer.

I pried his hands away from me. "Of course I do."

"Do you care about her?" he asked, now relaxed and calm and harmless.

"Of course."

"Then when you two have a misunderstanding – whether it be as petty as who gets to hold the remote – you don't, and I emphasize on the don't, EVER let the day end with you two mad at each other. When she walks away, you ing run after her because I really bet you would rather have tired knees and no pride than see her with another man," he said. "She's your girlfriend, for heavens' sake. Be her boyfriend."

Boyfriend. The term always gets me chewing on the insides of my cheeks. I was never someone's boyfriend. And in the entire week after that night I had kissed her, Jihyuk had introduced me to everyone as her boyfriend. She had introduced me to literally everyone – from her colleagues and her sister to (and this is exaggerated but possible) the homeless people sleeping on the streets we pass by on. Yet no one else but Hyukjae and Siwon knows that I love her.

My temporary trance earned me another slap in the face. Hyukjae was standing in front of me. "I'll make it up to her," I said, standing up to avoid any more slaps. "But not now."

–

"Don't forget to write your names on top of the paper, okay?" Her voice was loud and heard even along the corridors.

"Yes, sunsaengnim," the class said in chorus.

When the sound of children playing and running around followed, I took a deep breath and knocked. I wondered if they get visitors a lot at these times, but Jihyuk opened the door after a short while. She seemed surprised to see me. "What are you doing here?"

I beamed at her. "Is the show and tell portion over already?"

She rolled her eyes and was about to make a remark, but a tiny head peeked out from the inside. "Teacher, is my mom already waiting outside?" the child asked, and looked disappointed to see me instead of her mother. The little girl frowned, but that lasted for only a millisecond. Then she was already holding my hand and leading me further inside the classroom. "I'm going to show you the books I colored. Sunsaengnim said I color really well."

Not knowing what to do, I turned to Jihyuk for help, but she had already closed the door. "Um, where are we going?" I asked softly.

The little girl's pigtails swayed as she glanced at me briefly. "To my chair."

I scratched my head. Everything was small – from the chairs to the children. And I wasn't claustrophobic but the roof seemed to cave in slowly, threatening to trap me inside with the little people. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of the room with everyone staring at me. Just big, innocent blinking eyes focused on me.

"Everyone, this is Mr. Lee. What do we say to Mr. Lee?" Jihyuk announced, resting her hand on the small of my back. My hands were sweating an ocean.

"Good morning Mr. Lee~" the children greeted in a singsong.

"Um. Hi."

Jihyuk laughed. "Okay. Mr. Lee is a doctor. Do you have any questions about him?"

The girl from a while back raised her hand. "My mom said my grandfather was a doctor during the war. Are you my grandfather?"

I turned to Jihyuk, who covered to prevent from laughing boisterously. "Um, no. There are a lot of doctors and I'm not the only one," I explained briefly."And if your grandfather was a doctor back in the day, I'm pretty sure he's dead by now. Or else, he's really really old and frail."

"Pick me! Pick me!" a boy from the back row exclaimed. I pointed to him. He stood up. "My dad said I could be a doctor someday."

I blinked back at him. "Is that even a question?"

"Mister," someone said. Feeling a tug on my shirt, I looked down and nearly jumped 15 meters high out of shock after seeing a boy in front of me. "Why is there blood in hospitals?" he asked.

I knelt down on one knee to level with the child. "There is blood in hospitals because doctors cut children open with a sharp knife and stick syringes in their arms when they don't do well in school." And it was silent for a while as the little boy blinked back at me, his expression indicating that it wasn't the response he was waiting for.

Slowly, the corners of his mouth twisted into a frown before he broke out crying. Pretty soon, it was chaotic in the classroom as the children bawled their eyes out. Realizing what I just said, "Er, no. What I meant was that the blood...the blood fairy godmother comes to the hospital and sprinkles blood...no wait. The doctor fairy godmother sprinkles blood and guts with the magic scalpel...or something."

"Stop it, stop it now." Jihyuk began pushing me towards the door while trying to comfort the crying children. She opened the door and pushed me further before slamming it shut in my face.

Inexperienced with girls. Inexperienced with children. "That's me," I said and sighed.

After a while, all the whining and crying subsided. I was about to leave when the door opened once more and out came Jihyuk. And then she nearly rolled on the floor as she laughed and laughed and laughed like there was no tomorrow. .

***

Haven't updated in a while because of school work. SHINee and EXO K and dal Shabet are going to have a concert here in September and then Super Show 5 in October. Money. Doesn't. Grow. On. Trees.