I woke up to a soft voice calling me and prodding on my shoulder. “Wake up, it’s six thirty and there’s breakfast on the table,” Jihyuk said with me still with my eyes closed. I groaned and nodded, preparing to sit up. As soon as I heard her footsteps walking away, I laid back down and went back to sleep.

I woke up a few minutes later feeling something wet and cold near my face. “Wake up,” Jihyuk muttered. She had just finished taking a bath and laid beside me. Her damp hair tickled my cheek. “Wake up, you’re going to be late,” she said, kissing my nose. “Get up and take a shower. I prepared your clothes already.”

I pouted and shook my head. She laughed. “I won’t get up until you agree to come with me to the party.”

“That again?” She rolled her eyes.

“Come on,” I whined. “There’ll be lots of food and I’ll introduce you to everyone. I’ll stay by your side always. Please just come with me.”

She stared at me for a long while. “Does it really mean that much to you if I go?” she asked after a moment of silence.

When I nodded, Jihyuk looked at me, contemplating for a while, before sighing and giving in. “Fine, I’ll go.”

In delight, I clapped my hands and embraced her tightly. After much cuddling and talking, I ran to the bathroom and took a bath, then ate my breakfast in a hurry. As a result of all my rushing, I ended up choking through my own fault. Jihyuk laughed as she stirred her coffee. It was only when I glared at her that she handed me a glass of water.

The drive to work was noisy, especially if I had Jihyuk sitting beside me and laughing over and over again about my choking incident without ever getting to finish her sentence. I dropped her off to school with a kiss goodbye and made my way to the hospital on my own. As soon as I walked along the whitewashed corridors, the smell of rubbing alcohol and chlorine hit me strongly. “Dr. Lee?” The voice reverberated along the walls.

“Yes?” I turned, seeing the head doctor slowly approaching me.

“I need your assessments and NCP reports no later than this afternoon,” he declared immediately. I felt the roof caving in already even at 8 in the morning. “Oh and someone isn’t in today so you have to fill in. I checked your schedule already. I also need to remind you of the CT scan results you have to double-check. You can do all of these, right?” I fought the urge to talk back and nodded instead, swallowing all the complaints surging from my throat. The man laid a heavy hand on my shoulder, as if what he just told me wasn’t burdening enough. “I knew I can trust you.” And with that, he left, running off to wherever he was about to go next.

I went to the small office where all the paper works and reports were stashed and kept organized. Unlike others’, my own working space wasn’t decorated with pictures and handwritten cards. I knew those were all just consolations. When time has passed and people have grown and changed, those remembrances remain the same. I didn’t like inconsistencies like such. Instead, my workplace was graced with a calendar full to bursting with appointments and reminders and deadlines. That was my consistency, my constant. Forgetting something was deadly, especially in this career at this time.

I stayed rooted to my chair for hours while working on my papers and occasionally standing up and walking a few steps to make sure my blood still circulated throughout my body. Just when the silence ringing in my ears and the pressuring ticking of the clock got too much to handle, I stood up and walked to the water dispenser, pressing my forehead against the cold side. It helped a little, but helped nonetheless, since it contained me from exploding.

With my forehead almost numb from the cold, I remembered watching Jihyuk in amusement when she used to do the same. After hours of sitting in front of books and papers, she remembered that it was noon and that she had to eat lunch. She arrived at the table and stared at the leftover crumbs on the plate. Being the forgetful person she is, she scratched her head and thought she must have eaten lunch already and then forgot all about it. It was only when I told her that she really hadn’t eaten anything yet and it was just a prank that she grew only more confused and ended up doing the same thing I was doing – pressing her head against something cold.

Just when I thought I was safe from anymore obstacles, my phone began ringing. “What now?” I asked, wondering who else was going to disturb me.

“Oppa, I—“

I massaged my throbbing temples. “Jihyuk, I can’t really talk right now. Can this wait?”

“You’re in the middle of something?” She was sniffling on the other line, but I don’t have the time to be distracted at the moment.

“Yes,” I exhaled. “Can we just talk later? I’ve got a lot of things to do and if I don’t finish everything, I might lose my job. This job means everything to me and I can’t afford to lose it. This is the only thing that matters to me and it’s the only thing I can be proud of. I just…”

“The only thing that matters… right,” she repeated to herself softly.

I smacked my own forehead at the realization of what might possibly be a misunderstanding. “Jihyuk, I didn’t mean—“

“Sorry,” Jihyuk sighed. “I just… never mind. I’m sorry. I won’t be a bother anymore.” And then she hung up. Instead of feeling relieved, I only felt more burdened.

***

When I went home late that night, I discovered a sleeping Jihyuk sitting by the study table with her head resting on her books. I carried her to the bed before tucking her in and fixing her things neatly. Then I changed into the clothes she had prepared for me. After all these, I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Hyukjae beat me there. “How was work?” he asked, knowing what I was there for and already getting two glasses of water.

I rested my back against the kitchen counter. “Busy as always.”

“Jihyuk got lost today,” he informed, pouring the water into the glasses. “From here in Seocho-gu, she got to as far as Seongnam.”

I couldn’t force the mouthful of water I gulped down my throat. It stayed in my mouth for a whole two minutes before I could swallow it. “Seongnam?” I repeated just to make sure. Hyukjae nodded. “What was she doing there?” What was she doing miles away? The first thing I knew was that I dropped her off to school in Seocho and the next she’s in Seongnam.

He was just as equally as clueless. “She called me like she was almost in tears and asked me to go to her. So I did,” and Hyukjae looked at me accusingly. I should have been there. “When I asked what she was doing there, Jihyuk also had no idea.” He finished his water with one more gulp. “You should talk to her,” was the last thing he said before leaving the kitchen.