♦Yoochun♦

"How long are you going to keep lying to her?" Junsu questioned me. He was talking about Hyuna. He placed a blanket over my back and made me take a  seat on his two-person-only couch. He was trying to make me feel comfortable in his own home, but he didn't have to do all this for me.

"I don't know. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up." I sighed. I hadn't told Hyuna about Junsu...

Me and Junsu had known each other ever since elementary school. We were very close friends. He was a brother to me. Even though I was older than him by a few months, he would always worry about me and protect me on the playgrounds. He would help me on my homework and tutor me when I didn't understand what was being taught in class. We stayed friends in middle school and high school. I was in the 9th grade when I realized i had feelings for him. I was afraid to tell him, but he somehow found out himself. In 11th grade I was too shy to ask him to date me, so he asked me instead. I was amazed to hear him ask because I wasn't expecting it. We went out for 2 years in high school and kept it a secret between us. When our senior year was coming to end, we both thought we weren't going to see each other after graduating, but it turned out we got accepted into the same universities, so we continued to date throughout the 4 years of college and after college. It had been 8 years of us being a couple.

People said first relationships never last, but Junsu and I were the first. We still kept it a secret from everyone else because of our careers and because it was South Korea. Korea hadn't really accepted homouals yet. They were still a bit iffy about it and being openly gay to the community would ruin both our lives. I was very thankful to be with him though. He was very important to me. He was my boyfriend, but unfortunately, Hyuna was my girlfriend. I had been with Junsu way longer than her. She didn't know who he was. She had never heard his name before, but if I showed her a picture of what he looked like, she would only recognize his face. He worked at a bakery called Sweets N' Goodies. Hyuna would buy her desserts from there. It wouldn't had made sense if Junsu's face didn't look familiar. he worked there everyday.

"This is why you should just ignore every ones opinions and live your life how you want to live it." Junsu advised. He spoke true words of wisdom, but I would never follow them. That was the reason why I was in a big ol' mess. I never wanted to listen. I hated myself because of that. "If you just listen to what I tell you, you wouldn't be in this situation right now." It was like he read my mind. He slumped over to untie my laces on my boots.

"I know, but...I was just so fed up with everyone. What else was i suppose to do?" I whined.

I was only going out with Hyuna because the media and fans were getting suspicious. They wondered why someone, who was as 'attractive' as me, was single. If I hadn't had found a girlfriend sooner or later, they would've caught on, and quick too. I found Hyuna and forced myself to be friends with her. We got close enough to become boyfriend and girlfriend, but she had no idea that my love for her was just an act. I mean, I was an actor after all and I was doing a pretty good job at it. I know I sound like the biggest , but I'm only stating the truth. I would only act lovey dovey with her if fans were watching or if cameras were following us. I would hold her hand or even kiss her, but I felt like vomiting afterwards. You'd think I'd be used to the kisses, hugs, and the hand holding by now since I've been playing along for almost 3 years, but I wasn't. And I don't think I will ever get used to it

I wanted to keep my personal life and true self hidden. Junsu was the only one that knew who I really was. My parents didn't even know who I truly was. I wasn't comfortable with anyone knowing besides him. He was someone I could trust. He was someone that I knew would be on my side even if the rest of the world wasn't.

"Ugh!" I groaned. I smacked myself in the forehand. "Am I doing the right thing?"

"I cant answer that." Junsu looked up from my shoe laces. "I'm not you."

I groaned even louder than the first time. I hated it when Junsu wasn't able to give out more advice. It was like he had a certain limit. It was like, going through a dark alley way and I had just reached a dead end. I really did need his opinion on this this time, though.

"But..." He began. He focused back on my boots. He slipped them off for me. "If I were in your shoes then yes, you're human. Its kind of impossible to be truthful to everyone, but its not really fair to Hyuna. She probably opens up to you, yet you wont open up to her. Don't you think that's unfair?"

"Are you even my boyfriend?" I joked. "Why are you telling me this? Are you on her side?" I sounded mad, but I wasn't. I didn't want him to think I was.

"No. No. No!" He panicked because the last thing he wanted was an argument. "I'm just saying...um, If you were in her shoes, how would you feel?"

"But I'm not in her shoes." I stared at the top of his head. His hair was a pretty golden blonde. I could still see his roots. He needed a re-touch.

"I'm just saying ' what if '?"

"there are no ' What If's', Junsu."

He blew out a huge puff of air and placed my boots to the side.  "Well, okay then." He got up and threw his body next to mine. He laid his head on my shoulder. I put my arm around his neck. "I wont come out unless you come out." He said. I could hear the laughter in his voice.

"Uh, no. We come out at the same time."

"Okay. When is that?" He looked up at me, but I kept my eyes on the blank TV screen in front of me. I couldn't tell what he was staring at.

"Never." I giggled.

He hit me in the arm, but not to be mean. He only did it in a playful way. "Ow!" He cried. He drew his fist back and on his knuckles, almost until they turned white. "Why are your muscles so hard? Oh my gosh!" 

"Its because I work out." I answered. He was overreacting. I wasn't even buff. I didn't look strong  on the outside, but on the inside I was.

" I do too."

I was waiting for him to show me his arms, but he never did. I mean, not like I cared anyway. "Maybe you should work out with me." I said. I would ask him to work out with me, but I usually went early in the morning on the weekend, so he slept in most of the time. He wasn't an early riser like me. I was used to waking up early in the mornings. My body wouldn't let me sleep for more than 7 hours. I hated it because there were times where I actually wanted to go back to sleep, but couldn't.

"Okay. Tomorrow morning, then." He said. His hand traveled up my forearm to the shoulder. My skin was very sensitive to his touch. It made me tremble a little bit.  "Can we do it tomorrow morning?"

"No. I have to shoot a scene tomorrow morning." Being an actor was a difficult job sometimes. Yes, it was fun, but it was also exhausting and annoying. I rarely had any free time to myself. Every time when I wanted to go out with my friends or Junsu, something would always pop up at the last second. It irritated me.

"How early?" Junsu reached up to grab my face so he make eye contact with me. He was pouting.

I didn't want to look him straight in the eyes, but it was hard not to do so. His gaze was keeping me from looking away. It would've been rude if I did. "5AM." I responded in a soft voice. "I have to wake up at 4AM though because it takes an hour to get there."

"You'll only get about 3 hours of sleep tonight." He informed me like I couldn't do the math myself.

"Yeah." I looked away and yawned. Talking about sleep made me feel faint all of a sudden.

Junsu noticed. I could see him in the corner of my eye, staring. Why, was there something on my face? "You can sleep here tonight." He suggested. "Yoochunie needs his beauty sleep."

"Are you calling me ugly?"

"No." He sounded like a preteen girl to me when he started giggling. "you're handsome and smart. That is why i love you."

I took my phone out to check the time. It read 12:14AM. Hyuna might had been already in bed back at my place. I assumed she was tired of waiting for me to come home, so she passed out. At least I hope she did. It wouldn't had made sense if she didn't fall asleep because I would've had a bunch of missed calls by now. 

Junsu pushed me softly onto my back. My head hit the arm rest of his couch. He placed his head on my chest and pulled the blanket that he used to cover me up the first time to cover us both up. He was really close to me. His body heat was warming me up. His hair brushed against my nose. It had a heavenly scent to it. It made me want to go to sleep and never wake up.

He was usually the first one to fall asleep but tonight, it was me.

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Theres chapter 2. Its long, isnt it? Sorry. I hope it wasnt too long. I hope you liked it. Look out for chapter 3. ^^