A/N: It's been awhile hasn't it? I just ended my prelims and thought of writing this one-shot for quite a while now. I hope you would kindly be patient with me on Scandalous. I will get back there for sure after May but for now, I hope you don't mind me releasing one-shots of Yoosu instead as a stress reliever for myself.

Junsu never gets heartbroken, he wouldn't cry nor get upset at the mere mention of goodbye. To him, goodbye was just another new beginning and it doesn't bother him so much because he believes that there are better things in life that awaits him. He doesn't like to think negatively about it but it was these inner turmoil within himself that kept himself back especially when it was related to the past relationships he had. All of them had similar endings with the same reasons and it was that, he finds it a turn off.

He had his fair share of past relationships but it meant nothing to him. None that left a deep impression on him even when 'I Love You' was exchanged. His partners always expect more from him but he could not give much since he never thought of it more than JUST a relationship. No he doesn't cheat on them but he just never understands the purpose of being in one. He was never the one that insists on being together, it was always the other party. He was just being 'accommodating' by agreeing to be theirs.


That all changed with the presence of Yoochun. Something that just have to happen to him unconsciously as he delve deeper into the relationship. When the man told him that he was done with Junsu after being together for 2 years, he didn't expect himself to be bothered just like the other past relationships. In fact, just like the rest, Yoochun said the same thing to him, 'I don't feel love from you' but somehow, something in the way that he said it made Junsu thought of it differently.


Maybe it was how Yoochun has secretly crept into his heart or could it be the constant presence of the man around him that made him change? Or was it his sweet kisses and endless praises for the imperfect him. What made him change the thought of being in a relationship is so bizarre yet he had no one to confide to. The sudden lost of someone had never affected him this much. He convince himself that it was probably because he was slowly aging into his 30s that made him have such thoughts.


Though he did not let himself tear even for a little but he felt himself drowning in it whenever he breathes. It was like his heart knows that he is in pain. He started losing his grip on life and it felt like there was a knife piercing through his heart every single time he starts a new day. It was bothering him so much that he had constant dreams of Yoochun that mostly end with them breaking up and his ex boyfriend repeating the words that kept Junsu away from his sanity.


Junsu blames himself for giving in to Yoochun, for letting the latter into his life and it is affecting him so much, that the separation hurts to the core. Something he have never experience before. Could it be that he has fallen intro the traps of love, the thorns of separation that was kept away from him was poking and hurting him in every direction that it hurts to even breathe and live a normal life.


Even if it hurts, Junsu can't cry, he wouldn't. There is no way that he would express the pain he is undergoing despite the heartbreak. He wouldn't show his weakness, he will NEVER let it show. Even if he was in pain all by himself despite the break up a month ago, he will never give in to his misery. He hates losing especially to himself and there was no way he was going to let anybody help him with this. Yes, he is egoistic, he is a man after all.


When the tears threaten to escape from his eyes, he held back. Like a mantra he told himself that he wouldn't let the tears defeat him even when he was climbing the high chair. He felt his heart in pain but it never stopped him from placing the loosely hanged rope around his neck. Looking around, he knows this was the best way to end the pain, it was the greatest medicine. Looking around knowing that he isn't leaving anything behind so he took a deep breathe and close his eyes.


As he push the stool away and felt the rope tightening on his neck, he felt his breathe hitch and struggling for air. Gravity took hold of his body as the rope tightens his only passage of air from living. As the pain on his heart starts focusing on his air passages, he felt his body slowly going limp. It was then that he realized it too late but before he let go of his last breathe, a tear finally roll down his cold cheeks.