“Breathe Hye Mi, breathe,” Hye Mi muttered as she made her way into the hospital. It had been a few days since her encounter with Kris and she was beyond nervous. Not because of the results, but because she was going to meet Kris.

Hye Mi stepped out of the elevator and quietly made her way down the hallway.

“Hello, Hye Mi,” Secretary Hong greeted the girl with a warm smile. “Long time no see.”

“Hey,” Hye Mi forced a smile in return. “I-is Kris ready?”

Secretary Hong raised a brow at Hye Mi’s nervousness. “Doctor Wu is ready for you, go in.” Hye Mi stood there numbly. “He won’t bite,” Secretary Hong added jokingly.

Hye Mi chuckled and sighed. She reached up to knock on the door but it opened abruptly, making her step back in shock.

“Hye Mi…” Kris almost croaked. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and stepped to the side. “Come on in.”

Hye Mi stiffly nodded and walked in. Kris closed the door and followed.

“So how are you?” he asked as he took out the results from the big envelope and stuck it on the light box. His fingers were numb and he could feel the awkwardness all the way to his spine.

“I’m good,” Hye Mi replied meekly. Her fingers fiddled nervously and she tried her best not to look at him.

Kris sighed. His heart cracked at how cold she was acting towards him. Damn it, I acted so rash without thinking through the other day. He stole a glance at Hye Mi sitting on the chair and frowned.  It was obvious she didn’t like him, and he’d probably lost the chance of being friends with her too. Closing his eyes, he sat back down opposite her. “Look Hye Mi, I’m really sorry,” he confessed. She stayed quiet and he continued, “I didn’t mean to scare you like that, I didn’t know what I doing. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Hye Mi smiled. “I’m not selfish enough to hate you,” she teased.

Kris sighed in relief, he was grateful at how forgiving she was. He stood back up to examine her results. His face stiffened when he looked at the size of her tumour.  “Hye Mi…” he almost murmured.

“Yes?” she asked.

He turned back and stared at her. “Have you been having difficulty with anything lately?”

“What do you mean?” she blinked.

“Any problems with speaking, seeing?” he asked. “Any new symptoms?”

 Hye Mi shook her head. “Not really…”

He exhaled and sat down. “Are you… sure you don’t want a surgery?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Hye Mi sighed, she had a feeling she knew what was going to happen next.

“Hye Mi,” Kris tried to reason with her.  “Right now you still have at least 80% chance of it being a successful operation, the longer you hesitate the more the chances are going decrease-”

“I know,” Hye Mi cut him off. Her cold tone made his heart hurt, she had never spoken to him like that before. “I don’t want a surgery.”

Kris swallowed hard to calm himself down. As her doctor, he had to respect her opinion but as a friend, he had to argue with her. “Why not? Don’t you see that this doesn’t really need to go any further than it already has? There’s only a 20% chance that something is going to go wrong, why can’t you just think of the possibility of it being a successful-”

“And what if it ends up being within that 20%?!” Hye Mi cried. No one understood her, not even Aron. What was the point of fixing something when it’s not going to return into its best condition? She had expected Kris, being a doctor he was, to understand and support her opinion, so why wasn’t he?  “What if I fall into that 20%, what will happen then?” she whispered. I don’t want to risk it.

Kris’ heart dropped at her sudden mood drop, the last thing he wanted was for her to get angry at him. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “It’s just- there are so many reasons against your choice.”

“I know,” Hye Mi replied as she gave him a smile.

Kris knew it was a forced one but he couldn’t help but frown at how positive she was being. It had been something to admire her for back then but now, he just wanted her to unbottle everything up so he can know how to help her. “Your brain tumour is beginning to expand,” he informed glumly.

Hye Mi heaved in a big breath and nodded. “Mhm, I had a feeling it did.”  

Kris felt frustrated. Never in his life had something like this bothered him so much, it was painfully aching and he just wanted to snap and tell her the truth. She was dying. Kwon Hye Mi was dying. Wasn’t she at least bothered by it? How could she- or anyone- be so sanguine about their life? He wanted to just break and tell her that rejecting the surgery was the same as slowly killing herself.

“Kris?” Hye Mi called after realising he wasn’t going to continue. “Are you… okay?”

Am I okay? Kris bitterly laughed to himself. Am I okay? He felt his head pounding and shook his head. He was far from okay. He, a doctor who never thought he’d get married, had fallen for someone, in particular his patient. He has fallen for a girl who is simply just slipping herself away from this world, a girl who is smiling even though she’s literally dying, the girl who makes all the other problems seem small, the one who was driving him insane because while she is doing all that, the only thing he could do is watch her.

Kris had never felt more helpless in his life, he always knew that the downfall is being a doctor was feeling helpless but this was even worse than what he had prepared himself for. It was like something stabbing tens of thousands of needles into his body while he was being chained to the wall.

“Kris?” Hye Mi called again, a little louder this time.

He looked up and met eyes with her. Hye Mi could sense the different emotions in his hazel brown eyes; they were a mixture of frustration and confusion.  

“If it continues to expand like that then I can’t be certain what’s going to happen afterwards,” Kris explained. “I guess we’re going to have to bring your treatment to another level, are you ready for it?”

“Yup,” Hye Mi nodded with no hesitation. She smiled and cocked her head to a side. “So when do we start?”

For the umpteenth time that, Kris was choked up in frustration at how she could still smile so endearing at a time like this.