“Hye Mi!” Aron knocked on the bathroom door furiously. There was a clear hint of worry and fear in his voice. “Are you okay?”

Hye Mi was about to reply when another round of nausea hit her and she bent down to let it out. She used one hand to hold onto the handle for support while the other hand held all her hair away from her face.

This morning she had woken up in a mess. There was blood all over her white pillow and her legs felt like jelly. The moment she sat up she had suddenly felt the urge to throw up and rushed into the bathroom.

“Ooomph.” She spat out the bitter taste in and quivered. When she was sure she didn’t have to puke anymore she slowly slipped down onto the floor and curled up into a small ball. Hugging tightly onto her knees, she calmed herself down by breathing in and out repeatedly. It was scary. Waking up surrounded by blood from your nose and she felt bad not even having the energy to clean it up. This was the first time she has ever felt this bad and honestly, she had no idea what to do. Everything was going so well. Life really is a crazy roller coaster.

“Hye Mi?” Aron asked after hearing no sound from her.

Hye Mi gathered up all her strength to gather up her voice. “The door isn’t locked,” she whimpered.

Hearing this, the boy immediately opened the door and scrambled into the small bathroom. His heart dropped at the sight of his usually so energetic best friend crumpled down on the floor in a weak mess.

“Are you alright?!?” he asked frantically as he sat down next to her. “Should I call the ambulance?”

Hye Mi shook her head without looking at him. 

“What do you mean no? Look at you!” “Oh my god let me get my phone I have to call the ambulance!” Aron got up with his trembling legs.

“NO!” Hye Mi roared out of frustration. She didn’t want to call the ambulance. Not yet anyways.

Startled by her sudden outburst, Aron froze and turned back to her. Hye Mi was on the verge of crying now; she looked so in pain that he would do anything to divide the pain with her. “Alright alright,” he said gently as he sat back down next to her. Hye Mi suppressed a whimper as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. Just from that screaming she could already feel the painful ringing that was slowly increasing inside her head.

“Help me up,” she said when she realised the headache was never going to decrease. Aron nodded and carefully lifted her up bridal style. To his surprise, she was almost as light as a feather. “Take me back to my room… Please.” He heard her say as she hid her face in his chest.

“Okay,” he replied quietly as he carefully carried her out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. Seeing the bed stained with her recently bloodied nose, he hesitated on whether to take her outside to his mattress or not but placed her down anyways when he felt her lunging for her bed.

“I’ll put your blanket and pillow case in the wash, wait okay?” He told her. She sat at the edge of the bed and waited as he unwrapped her pillow case and rolled up her blanket. Sighing gently, he took the bundle out of the room and soon came back with his own blanket and pillow. “Here, use mine while I wash yours,” he told her as he placed the pillow down for her to lie on. As Hye Mi wiggled towards the middle of her bed, Aron securely placed his blanket on top of her. A smile formed on Hye Mi’s lips as she watched him tuck her in. “What are you smiling at?” he asked when he noticed her expression.

“If only you’re this nice to me every day,” she joked with her pale lips.

He rolled his eyes and flicked her forehead. “Babo.” Yet, he couldn’t help but smile at her innocent remark. After making sure Hye Mi was asleep, he smiled in relief and walked out of the room, leaving the door half opened just in case Hye Mi needed him again.

When she made sure he could no longer see her, Hye Mi opened her eyes and sat up. The pain in her head was almost unbearable now but she didn’t want to make Aron worry. With all the energy she could gather, she climbed out of bed and slowly went to her bag.

Damn.

She thought as she opened up the empty box of painkillers. She had specifically told herself to drop by at the hospital to ask Kris for some more but it had slipped her mind. Heaving out repetitive breaths to calm herself down, she walked out of the room and found Aron making breakfast.

“Oh! You’re not sleeping!” Aron pointed at her with the spatula when he saw her plopping herself on the sofa.

She smiled and shook her head. “Not sleepy.”

“Fine come and eat breakfast. We’re going to go to the hospital later. I think that doctor of yours needs to check up on you again.” He said as he placed the fried eggs on 2 plates and bought them over to the table.

“Alright,” Hye Mi replied and came over. She was too tired to protest.

---------

About an hour later Hye Mi was already sitting in the taxi with Aron right next to her. Her headaches kept coming and going but at least she was going to see someone now.

As the taxi drove pass the streets, Hye Mi stared out the window. The sun was shining brightly, and there were people smiling everywhere. For a moment Hye Mi wanted to stop the car and jump out to smile with them, she wanted to blend in and laugh around with them. But she couldn’t. She could never blend in with them. Their smiles were real; they had a reason to smile. And she didn’t.

They had sweet smiles.

And she had bitter smiles.

Sometimes, Hye Mi just wanted to admit to people that the cancer was mentally killing her. Sometimes, she just wanted to drop everything and run back to her parents, she wanted to tell them the truth and then have them protect and nurture her like she always wanted.

And sometimes… She just wanted to run away from everything.

But she couldn’t. She hated the pity. So she had to keep smiling.

------

“We’re here.” Aron’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and she blinked at him. He gave her a sweet smile and paid before stepping out of the taxi.

As they walked towards Kris’ room, Hye Mi’s thoughts wandered back to what she was thinking in the taxi before. Except this time, Kris was in the picture. As funny as it sounded, she wanted Kris to protect her. She wanted him to read her mind and protect her. Not as a doctor, but as something else. She didn’t know what, yet.

“Hye Mi?” Secretary Hong’s eyes widened as she stared at Hye Mi and Aron approaching.

Aron’s eyes widened as well when he realised she was the girl he had failed to pick up and coughed awkwardly when they arrived at the desk. “Umm… Hye Mi’s feeling unwell.”

“Oh my, you look so pale Hye Mi! Sit down! I’ll check with Doctor Wu immediately,” the secretary said as she immediately stood up and went into Kris’ room. A few minutes later, she came back out with Kris right behind her.

Kris had been in his office looking at documentaries since it was his break when suddenly Secretary Hong came in and told him Hye Mi was here. His heart skipped a few beats when he saw her sitting on the chair, but it completely stopped when she looked up at him with her pale face. “Hey,” he forced a smile at the new Hye Mi in front of him. “Come on in.”

Hye Mi stared at him stupidly. Is it just me or did he dye his hair into a darker blonde? Wait why do you even care Kwon Hye Mi?

“Yah, Hye Mi!” Aron hissed as he tugged her hand. He had stood up to help her walk but she was just dazing ahead. “I know you’re obsessed with him but calm your farm woman.”

Hye Mi immediately blushed a light shade of pink on her pale cheeks and shot him a look. “I’m not obsessed,” she hissed and stood up. “Stay out here.”

“Yeah you’re not obsessed and I’m Jesus,” he shot back with a smirk and sat back down on the chair.

She gave him one last hard stare and stepped inside to Kris’ office. Miraculously, she felt amazingly safe in his office and the headache seemed to have realised that too.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Kris asked immediately as she sat down in front of him.

Hye Mi was stuck in her thoughts for a moment before she decided to tell him the whole truth. How she woke up with a bloody nose and how her vomit tasted bitterer than it usually did.

Kris grew more worried as she continued explaining her morning. She seemed frightened by the sudden symptoms and he was too. She had been doing so good, what happened?

“I think it’s best if we take a quick CT scan,” he said after she was done talking.

Hye Mi nodded warily. “Will I… be okay?”

Kris was surprised. After all these checkups and treatment sessions, he had never once heard Hye Mi ask such a question about herself. She had always been so positive and confident, and he didn’t want his bad answer to crash it down. “You’ll be fine,” he reassured her.

He stood up and headed towards the door, Hye Mi followed and he opened the door for her to go out first. Aron immediately came by her side, Kris once again felt envious of the boy’s ability to just wrap his arm around Hye Mi’s shoulder naturally like that. “I’ll come with you,” he heard Aron say.

Hye Mi shook her head and gave her best friend a smile; she didn’t want him to feel that bad. “It’s fine, I’ll be right back.”

“Should I accompany you then, Hye Mi?” Secretary Hong asked.

“No,” Kris responded for her. “I’ll go with her.” He wanted to be the one there for her.

“Alright,” Aron and Secretary Hong spoke at once. They shot each other a look before turning away awkwardly.

Hye Mi’s legs felt stiff as she got closer and closer to the scanning room. She had been doing fine with keeping the smile on her face, but she didn’t know how much longer she could act.

At the same time, Kris was walking behind her, he was going through all the facts that he knew about brain cancer and was trying to be reasonable. She had been doing so well this whole time, her response to the treatment was all positive. There’s no reason for her to be suffering.

By the time they got to scanning room, everything had been set up by Suho, the person in charge of the scanning. “Please lie down,” he politely told Hye Mi and she immediately did as told.  Kris watched as Suho carefully gave her the instructions that he was certain she’s heard for many times now.

When she was all in position, Suho went to the other side of the room to make sure that the machines were working. Kris took the opportunity to step closer to Hye Mi, she had her eyes closed but he knew she wasn’t at ease. He wanted to comfort her but he didn’t know what to do. She was his patient and he didn’t want to frighten her. 

“Hey,” he spoke gently.

Hye Mi opened her eyes and blinked up at him. The way he was staring at her made the butterflies in her stomach churn. “…Hmmm?”

“You’ll be safe,” he smiled. “I promise.”