“Mommy…?” Xing’s little voice called out tentatively.

Xiao Shan snapped out of the daze she was in and quickly plastered a smile on her face, looking down at her boy who was staring back at her earnestly. He had one of his arms around his doll and another resting on the bedtime storybook. His blanket was pulled up to his chin while he rested comfortably on the bed.

“Hmm, Xing, what’s wrong?”

He redirected his gaze back at the book. “What happens to the duck? His mommy doesn’t want him?”

She smoothed his hair and kissed his forehead. “Of course his mommy wants him. I bet the mommy is looking for him now,’ she lied simply.

The boy pouted cutely and attempted to smooth the pages that were already worn with dog-ears. His stubby fingers ran across the glossy page slowly as his low voice blurted out, “Mommy duck doesn’t want the baby anymore. Nobody loves the baby duck.”

Surprise hit Xiao Shan at the sudden outburst. Quickly, she pulled the boy into her arms, his head resting in the crook of her arm, and pulled the book closer. Xing’s lips were trembling as he nestled into the secured warmth. She said gently, “All mothers love their babies. Baby duck will find the mommy soon.”

Xing’s pout refused to even ease. He has read ‘The Ugly Duckling’ for umpteen times, to the point he remembers the lines in the book. But like all kids, bedtime story is a ritual and for some unknown reason, he happens to like ducks very much. In the story, the baby duck lost his mother because he was ugly and his mother didn’t like him. No matter what his mom said, Xing knows, not all mothers love their children.

“If Xing is ugly like the baby duck, will mommy still love Xing?” he asked again.

“Xing is such a pretty boy, how can mommy not love you?”

“If Xing is naughty, will mommy not want Xing?”

“But Xing is such a good boy,” Xiao Shan answered their nightly Q&A. She awarded him another kiss on the cheek. “Mommy will always love Xing.”

“Then why does daddy not want Xing?”

It was another question that took her by surprise. Her son has only asked that question once, the day of his fourth birthday, and Kris has been kind enough to answer him that his daddy is a very busy person like Dr. Wu and just because his father is not around, it doesn’t mean that Xing is not loved. The boy has never asked again ever since.

Hiding her own sadness, she replied steadily, “Daddy loves Xing very much. It’s just that he’s a very busy person so…”

“Dr. Wu is busy but he’s always with Uncle Kris. My daddy is busy but he never comes to see Xing. He doesn’t want Xing…”

Lu Han stood by the door, listening to every word his son said. His heart dropped when he heard that Xing truly believed that he doesn’t love or want him. That is not true, he had so wanted to shout out but the papers in his hand reminded him otherwise. He does love Xing and he wants him, but he couldn’t.

“Xing, if daddy is around, he would tell you every day that he loves you. But daddy is not around because there are many things daddy has to do, just like how mommy has to go to work every morning, daddy has too much work,” Xiao Shan explained gently, caressing his hair.

He looked up, his larges eyes skeptical. Despite his young age and that people around him wanted to believe that he’s an innocent boy, Xing really isn’t. He has learnt that adults tend to underestimate kids, especially when you’re one as cute as him. His mother didn’t want him to think that he doesn’t have a dad so she made a father up. But deep inside, he was clear who his father really is. And he also knew that his father really wanted him only he couldn’t. So the real question is why.

Gradually, Xing’s eyes strayed to the door where Lu Han has stood listening. Without saying a word, he sat up in his mom’s embrace, acknowledging the man. Xiao Shan stiffened in her position when she realized that he has been standing there all along. She closed the book and placed it aside before asking him icily.

“What do you want?”

“A chance to make everything right,” Lu Han replied shortly. He smiled at Xing and the latter returned it quite easily. The boy shifted to make space for him, which Lu Han gratefully took, opposite the mother and son. When he was seated, he held out the papers. “I have my lawyers draft it as soon as possible.”

Xiao Shan stared at the papers with suspicion. Ann had just made her request this morning and already Lu Han has the papers ready. What happened to not taking Xing away from her?

She pulled Xing closer to her body. “You promised…”

“I know, Xiao Shan. And this will make it right, I promise,” Lu Han answered softly, gentle and calm.

She took the papers from his hand; her eyes never once left his face. Quickly, she redirected them to the paper in hand. It was a legal document; the crest of the most notable law firm in Beijing stood out proudly at the top of the front page. Two paragraphs into the document, she looked up.

“You are giving Xing back to me?”

“He is never mine in the first place. I am merely ensuring that he will stay with you,” he replied. “Read on.”

She did as instructed. Another moment passed and when she flipped to the next page, she asked again in astonishment, “You are naming Xing as your heir?”

“Only if I don’t produce another,” Again, he answered calmly. “I also set up a trust fund for him. You’re the guardian so naturally you can use the money for his wellbeing but he gets the rest when he’s twenty-one.”

“Lu Han, what are you…”

“Listen, Xiao Shan,” he cut her straight up. Reaching across, he held her free hand in his, squeezing it gently and hoping that she would understand. “There are so many things I can give you, so many things I make it happens if you want to.” He stopped to take something out of his pocket.

Careful to keep his fist closed so Xiao Shan couldn’t see what it was, he raised the hand he was holding closer. And carefully, he wrapped the item around her wrist. She stared at the crystal bracelet in astonishment; a nostalgic sentiment hit her, and looked up at him. He smiled.

“And even that will never compensate for what you have done for me, Xiao Shan. Now, I don’t know what may happen in the future, but know that if you ever need anything, I will be there for you. You are family to me, Xiao Shan.”

Tears welled up in Xiao Shan’s eyes again. It seemed to be getting very emotional these days for her, a rollercoaster ride. No one knows how long she has been waiting for moments where Lu Han promises her the stars and the moon. It was no confession. But it’s the closest she could ever get. She should be happy but why does her heart hurts so much?

“Xiao Shan?”

She braved on another fake smile, something she has perfected over the years. Her little boy was now innocently reading out loud the storybook in his hand to his toy and was constantly throwing glances at the two grown adults. Occasionally, he grinned. When the light hit his face with the pure smile on the face and warm twinkle behind his eyes, Xiao Shan just felt like she could be lost forever staring at the face. Xing was the living reminder alright. She didn’t know how she will be able to deal.

How did she survive all these years away from the man who had been her life support?

Hastily, she got up to her feet. “I… I need to go. Xing, you need to sleep soon. Mommy will be right back.” And she was out of the door. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's a new chapter. I planned to update this on Xmas but will be busy on Xmas. XD

I wrote this real quick so maybe might have some errors and a little boring. Sorry for that... And I'm sorry that i won't be replying my readers this time. Doing lots of last minute work here. 

Wanna wish all my readers a Happy Christmas & Happy Holidays~ ^^