Lu Han stumbled into the hospital room; his feet staggered forward unsteadily with his every effort to reach the bed his wife was lying on. Silence greeted him with the only sound was the hum of the humidifier in the room. The woman he called wife was asleep.

Choosing not to switch on even the lamplight by the bed, he quietly slid down to the floor, leaning against the small cabinet beside the bedpost. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and looked up to see the peaceful but tired figure on the bed. From this angle, it felt as if he’s looking up at the ‘sleeping beauty’, so hauntingly beautiful but meaningless. His right hand lifted the bottle of expensive whiskey and he took a big swig out of it. Most of the liquid just rolled down his neck, soaking his unkempt shirt.

He pulled his lips away from the bottle. The hot liquor burned his throat on its passage down to his empty stomach. But he was clear as a spring day; he was awake and well aware.

“Damn it…” he cursed silently to no one in particular. Not that anyone was around to hear him. It was quiet as the grave at night.

Lu Han dropped his hand carrying the bottle. The bottle hit the floor in a loud thud and some of the alcohol spilled onto the marble floor. He paid no attention to it. Rather, he dropped his heavy head onto his knees, hugging his legs together like a hurt child. His head hurt from lack of sleep and rest, his jaw still ached where Kris punched him earlier today but most importantly, his heart hurt a great deal.

Drawing a shaky breath into his lungs, his body trembled as he shook back and forth. Tears fell from his eyes immediately soaking his jeans. He bit his lips to prevent any noise to escape, because he couldn’t let anyone knows that he’s here. He couldn’t let anyone sees him here, like this. He couldn’t let anyone finds out that he’s weak.

But what was he supposed to do? He was a sheltered man, born with the silver spoon and never once in his life, had any real difficulties onto him. He had to make a choice once and he ran away from choosing. He was weak and he was selfish.

A sob escaped his lips as he drew in another shaky breath. Anguish tore from within, slowly choking him. He felt his lungs constricted painfully with each breath and sob. It wasn’t a dream at all. His tears continued to fall from his eyes.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered out achingly to no one in particular. His hands curled into tight fists while his lips started to bleed from the bite.

Lu Han didn’t think he was a terrible person, at least not in everyone’s eyes. And he couldn’t understand how he’s gotten himself into this situation. If he had known sooner, would anything change? Would he be able to prevent this?

He looked up from his stupor to Ann’s sleeping form. Possibilities ran in his head, about their future, about the path that has now strayed so far away from their original bliss. The betrayal was now so great he couldn’t just pretend it never happened. His heart clenched a simple reminder. ‘I love you, Ann’

Then he looked down at his feet again. His mind wandered to the other woman who has wrestled her way into his life. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t thinking about her these past years. As the matter of fact, she has now become a haunted presence, a piece of his life. Did he love her, he thought to himself. One man cannot possibly spend so much time thinking about one woman and not has feelings. He shook his head, dispelling all thoughts.

‘I cannot love you…’ He would continue to be cruel to her, a truth that everyone knows.  There’s only one spot and he has already filled it. He has been nothing but unkind to her. The decision was made five years ago when he chose his bride, no matter how it broke her. ‘I wish it would be different. Maybe we could be…’

Lastly, the ‘Little Prince’, his younger mirror, an innocent budding perfection. The boy would call him Uncle Lu Han for the rest of his life. That kills him. Because there was so much he could do for the latter, so much he could give and so much to see. It was painstakingly unfair.

Lu Han choked back another sob. What has he done? What has he done that night? How did it become like this?

“Lu Han…? Is that you?” a soft weak voice called out. He froze in his spot, his head hung low.

The yellow glow from lamplights flickered to life, bathing the surrounding area in its pale illumination. Still, he kept his head down, afraid to look up and let her see his crying state, his red eyes and most importantly, the defeated lost man he is now.

Her eyes took a quick sweep over her husband to the forgotten half-empty bottle. There were telltale signs and despite her fatigue, she reached out a hand from her sit-up position and ran it past his hair. The usually silky locks felt matted against her fingers. She frowned slightly at the touch but continued to caress him like how a mother would to her favorite boy. He didn’t need to say anything; she understood the stress he was in.

“I’m sorry, Lu Han, for troubling you,” she apologized softly. “But I’m getting better now; you don’t have to worry so much. We’ll be able to get through this together.”

Lu Han forced a wave of bubbling hysteria down his throat. If he loses it again, he didn’t know what’s going to happen. This weakness he’s displaying, he hated it. He vowed to protect and cherish her and here she was, assuring him about them. Rubbing his eyes and the remaining tears, he shook his head mutely.

But Ann wasn’t satisfied. Casting a sad glance at him, she said more. “I’m truly sorry, Lu Han. I know you love kids but I…”

His head snapped to look up at her, tears began pooling again. He should be the one sorry. The vows they made, he tainted them!

“Ann…” he choked out, his voice raspy from all the crying. “All I ever care about is you and that’s all that matters. No matter what happens, you know that I love you, right?” He took her wandering hand that was now tracing his eyes and cheeks. Slowly, he sealed each finger with a tender kiss. He looked up at her again, hopeful.

She was holding back her tears as well. Sniffing softly, she nodded. He smiled weakly at her. The truth would have to wait… He would make everything right again.

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I don't know how I have deviated from my original storyline to this extent... TT_TT Originally, Luhan isn't portrayed like this. Now it looks like he's weak and a coward. To all Luhan-biased readers, I'm so sorry~ He's a really good person, I swear!!