The world we knew won't come back
The time we've lost can't get back 
The life we had won't be ours again
I can't feel my senses 
I just feel the cold, all the colors seem to fade away
I can't reach my soul
I would stop running if I knew there was a chance 
Can't believe my eyes 
How could I be so blind? 
In the heart of stone, no empathy inside
Time keeps on slipping away and we haven't learned 
?So in the end now what have we gained
The memories ease the pain inside
Now I know why 
All of my memories keep you near 
In silent moments imagine you'd be here 
All of my memories keep you near
...In the silent whisper, silent tears
Together in all these memories i see your smile
All the memories I hold dear
...But everything will slip away
Shattered peaces will remain 
...When the memories fade into emptiness

Only time will tell it's tale

Mir stared at the paper in his hands. Feeling free to let tears run down his cheeks. And only soft sobs could be heard. He hated it, back then he always asked lee joon to pay more attention to him, he wanted him to text him to see if he have already ate, to see if he slept well, and to ask if he was okay. Mir wanted lee joon to pay more attention to him. He feels guilty and selfish. Back then he never asked lee joon if he was doing well, still he wanted lee joon to take care of him.

''miru-yah'' a soft voice said behind him while putting a hand on his shoulder.

''hyung'' mir let go of the piece of paper in his hand and it softly fell on the floor, he  hugged seungho  tightly as if he was scared to lose him too.

''shh it's okay, it'll get better I promise'' seungho said while patting his back, he wanted to believe his words but he didn't know if he could.

''it's hard hyung.. it's so hard'' mir sobbed '' why did this happen? Why didn't we notice it before?'' mir sobbed even harder.

''it's not your fault miru-yah'' seungho said and he just couldn't stop the tears that now was falling down his cheeks as well, he wanted to be strong for them but it was just hard.

Back in the dorm was Cheundong who was waiting for the other members to come,  Seungho told him that they will read the diary together when they come back. He was grateful that seungho didn't mind if he and mir read it with them. Still it was obvious that he was worried because just like when cheundong first found the diary he knew that lee joon had a hard life.  Chenudoong never lost anyone close to him before and so he didn't know how it feels. When it happened he was in denial. He didn't believe that he won't ever see him again. He didn't want to believe that he was gone, he always wished that this whole thing was a really bad dream, a dream that he would wake up from to be met by lee joon's smile or a hug from him. But he knew that  it will never happen. Cheundoong was always the quiet person. He never talked much and it was hard for him to express his feelings. But still lee joon understood him better than anyone else.

After a couple of minutes Cheundoong heard the dorm door open so he knew that the members must be back. He slowly got up from the bed and went and took the diary before leaving the room.

He went outside and saw the members, they weren't in their best state but after all, no one out of these four were after what happened to their fellow member.

''hey, okay so do you want to read it now?" he asked.

'' sorry cheundoong, I don't think we can do this now. Can we__'' he was cut off by their maknea.

''no it's okay let's just do it now, it's okay hyung'' he said.

''I don't know mir this can wait, let's just do it later'' the leader said.

''it's okay hyung'' he said determined.

Cheundong just looked at them puzzled he had no idea what happened when they went to look for g.o.

Seungho looked at mir worriedly before heading to the living room. The others followed him. As well.

'' okay so who should read it?'' Cheundong asked.

''I'll do it, if you don't mind of course'' g.o looked at them.

''okay then'' cheundong held the diary out for g.o.

g.o sighed and opened the diary. He looked at each one of the members to make sure they are ready. They were all looking down at the floor waiting for g.o to read the diary. G.o finally looked at the diary and started reading:

march 9 2007:

days have passed since the new transfer student came. But she was not like I expected her to be , she was quiet and she didn't talk much. When I first saw her I thought that she would be the kind of girl that everyone loved and liked to hang out with, the type of girl that every guy would dream about dating her. But it wasn't like I expected it to be. Whenever it was lunch time or if we had a break she would always take out a sketch book and start drawing. And since I wasn't sitting close to her I didn't see what she was drawing and I would lie to you if I told you that I didn't feel curious about what she was drawing. I guess for the first time I felt like I wanted to talk to someone. To get to know her better. Still I didn't want to be friends with her or anything like that. But I just wanted to see the way she sees things because a feeling told me that she was not like the others, the way she sees the world I mean. And I came to realize that with every day that passed.

Today something new happened to me. When I finished dancing. I went to take a shower and then I decided to go out for a walk. It was cold outside and it was too tempting, for me at least. So after dinner I left the house and just started to walk. I didn't know where to go but I just kept walking, and thinking about her. I was annoyed at myself. And my head hurts. And I needed a drink so I decided to go for one . It wasn't the first time and so I already had my fake ID. So I just went to one of the clubs and ordered a glass of bear. The music was loud and people were chatting and dancing around me and it annoyed me. It was way too loud and not to mention the girl that came flirting with me.god I really wasn't in the mood for her, so I told her that I needed to leave. And quickly I went to the back of the club. It was quiet there and just peaceful so I decides to spend some time in here, For a moment I didn't think someone was there but then a guy came up to me and asked me what kind I wanted. I didn't know what he meant. And he asked me if I wanted to get drugs. I was going to say no but a feeling inside me toldreamed about doing drugs and I think it's my chance so i decided that I should try it. so I just looked at him and asked him what kinds he had. To be honest I don’t' know a thing about drugs but from what I have seen in movies it's really interesting. Besides I will only try it once I won't do it again. And so I told him that i never did drugs and I asked what kinds he thought would be good for me. He told me that was one of the most powerful drugs and he said that I should try it. I told him that I didn't have that much of money and he told me to get back tomorrow at the same place. And I kind of felt excited about it. to be honest I don't know what I am doing and I don't know why I am doing it but I just wanted it. I know that I might regret it later but it didn't matter.

g.o looked at the rest of the members. Seungho looked worried, while cheundong and mir looked scared they didn't believe that their hyung would do  something like that. It's scary what people hide behind the smiles and laughs they give to others.

G.o who was staring at the walls above of him said '' and now what? What would happen to us?'' he asked '' you do know that we can't be mblaq without lee joon'' he said in a calm tone.

''it would be hard, and we will never be what we used to be, but we'll make it. I'll have to do that, it's the least I could do for him'' seungho said '' but I am not sure about the band, I am not sure if I actually want to be a part of it after what happened'' he got up and took a piece of paper from his pocket before handing it to G.o  '' mir found this at the studio'' he said before lying on the bed again '' I think it's good'' he added.

''thanks'' g.o said looking at the lyrics he wrote

 '' but I don't think i can handle using these lyrics for money'' he said.

''don't,  but you still have to promise me that you'll sing it to lee joon sometimes'' seungho said.

''I can’t do it without you and the others'' he looked at seungho and slightly smiled.

'' we will help you, I will at least '' he smiled back.