Mir was sitting on the bed in his room, breathing heavily. He was never interested in exercising, but he couldn't sleep well the previous night and he woke so frustrated and angry, he just needed a way how to release all of that pressure. So he decided to go for a morning jog. He ran as if his life depended on it. He didn't really pay attention to anyone or anything around, he didn't have a clear finish line in mind, he just ran and in that simpleness of it, he found peace. He could feel the wind blowing softly, gently caressing his face, and he felt as if he was flying, his legs moving on their own, the scenery around seemed only as a blur, as if the world was moving too fast, or maybe it was him, who was suddenly faster than the world. When he arrived back, he was sweaty and he felt strange, as if his problems and worries suddenly disappeared, but his chest kept hurting. 

He still couldn't properly catch his breath. His body was not used to it and his joints ached a little. He decided to take a shower, maybe the cold water could wash away the remaining heaviness of his soul. He stood under the spray and let the water beat at his neck, dripping down along his body, making him shier a little. He didn't realize when he started to cry, but soon his tears were mixing with the water, his sobs lost in the sound of water flow. Time passed quickly and his body was freezing so he stepped out of the shower, his eyes a little puffy, but the burden became slightly lighter. 

***

G.O. has locked himself in the studio, pencil in one hand, a notebook in the other. He sat with his legs crossed on one of the chairs and started to write. The lyrics came to him in a flash, as if someone was whispering to him what he should write, how should he express that indefinable sadness inside. He was writing faster than ever before, like he was possessed. He appeared to be scared, that if he didn't put those lines on a paper fast enough,  he would forget the thought behind them. He usually struggled to complete one song, changing and rewriting its lyrics over and over again for weeks. However now, in those few hours he finished about three songs. Once he was done, he felt completely spent and drained. He just lost a big part of himself but it was necessary for him to let go of that part. It was the beginning of a healing process and as all beginning, this one was also hard. G.O. felt very tired, so he just curled up on the small old sofa in the room and let the sleep take him into a world, where Joon was still with him, smiling happily.

***

Cheundoong was again looking at the diary, that was now put on a shelf, perfectly blending in with the rest of his books and notebooks. He was afraid to read more. The first entry was very disturbing and confusing. Joon has always took a great care of him. He remembered, how hard it was for him to catch up with the rest of the members, since he was the last to join them. It was Joon, that stayed with him after each practice, patiently explaining all the dance moves one more time and encouraging him to keep practicing. He gently pointed out all the mistakes and helped him correct them. Joon might be a pabo, but he always worked hard and helped them when they needed it. So why didn't they try a little harder? Why didn't they understand him? He must have been screaming at them, hoping they would notice how much pain he was in, but they were all blind and foolish. Cheundoong drew a heavy breath. It was painful to read the diary, but Joon deserved at least this much. Even if it was too little, too late, but Cheundoong knew he would never forgive himself if he chose the easy way out again. So he slowly opened the diary and started to read....

March 1 2007:

I went to school today, not expecting anything to happen. The days were all the same and the life was slowly passing by without me paying attention to it... one day blends into another and I am loosing the track of time. I can't remember what I've done yesterday and I can't imagine what I will do tomorrow... I have no plans, no expectations anymore. So I thought, I will just sit through the lessons, somehow endure the boring lectures and then dance to my heart content. Like every day. Dancing was the only thing, that could make me feel alive so it became my daily routine now and nothing ever changed. And yet, today something happened. Something that might be exciting and fun for everyone else but for me I really didn't pay much attention to it. I was scribbling in my notebook, just killing time, when the teacher announced we have a new transfer student. I looked up and saw a girl standing in front of the class. She was carefully looking at each  one of us, like if she was studding us . I was never really interested in my classmates, I've never tried to make friends. To me, they were all the same. so it was the same I just got back to my notebook while she went and sat on one of the seats. I heard one of my classmates who was sitting in front of me saying that she was cute. now that he mentioned it she was kinda cute. but then again there are a lot of cute girls all over the world so what would make her different? after the class ended everyone went to her. they started to talk and everyone was jumping with questions. I just looked at the window beside me and it was raining outside. for me I never hated rain I think rain is good, it's refreshing. so I just looked outside at the pouring rain and I guess I got lost in my dreams till the teacher called my name. I finally got back to reality and when I turned I saw the new girl staring at me. there was something about the way the she was staring... I don't know it was just different.