Standing here on the stage, the members knew it was the last time for them together. But just like many other things they simply didn't want to believe it and so they kept ignoring it. Yes it was the last concert but they knew they wouldn't be able to do it without joon and so each member wrote a letter for joon saying goodbye for the last time because they knew it was time to move on, however it wasn't only from them, it was from all the A+ around the world.

On the back of the stage the huge screen showed a picture of a smiling joon And it says next to it ''I'll always remember you'' and  it was the only thing that the members were sure of, because there was no way that any of them would forget everything that joon did to them.

And so it was time for the members to say goodbye and  usual they started with the leader. Seungho took a deep breath before unfolding the paper in his hand. '' joon where are you ? Have you been doing well, Joon? You know that I miss you right?  Joon please be happy wherever you are,Please forget all the bad memories that you made here.  Because I know that the place that you're at is much  more beautiful so please forget everything in here, forget everything and worry about nothing but making good memories starting from now. Cause that's what you deserve.  Joon I'm sorry, I am sorry for not noticing things. And I am sorry for not being able to help you. I promise I'll make it up for you joon. Someday, somewhere. Take care joon, and goodbye for now.'' And by that it seungho said his final words to joon. Seungho was simply feeling empty these days, a lot of things were taken away from him, things that he never even imagined losing. MBLAQ,  it was something that was so precious to him, it was simply his family.  One that will never be forgotten, or at least to him it won't.

g.o's turn was up so after looking around the crowd for a couple of seconds, he also unfolded the paper and started reading what he wrote.

'' There are a lot of things that I wish I said, and a lot of things that I wish I have done with you, but I didn't realize that I was running out of time. I used to admire you joon, I still do. You know what is the hardest part joon? It is losing something so precious, it is knowing that things have changed and that it won't be back to the way it was no matter how hard you fought for it to get back, it won't , but still fighting because you don't want to exept the truth . Everyone has to change, but not everyone wants to. And that change that happened for MBLAQ  was like a nightmare to me, one that came true. I didn't know what MBLAQ  meant back then, and I didn't know what you meant to me either. And now that I have lost both of these things I know exactly how precious they were to me. I also realized that everyone is the same, it doesn't matter how hard you try to hide your feelings because you are just like everyone else, and it's okay, it's okay to cry and talk about it. Because if you didn't it will only hurt more. Joon I wish you came to me during  these times. Joon I'll stop hiding my feelings. It hurts, the fact that you are gone, and so I won't pretend that I can handle it because I can't. joon I love you, and I'll always remember you'' and by the moment he finished reading he broke down, he just couldn't take it, he was always the kind of person to hide his feelings and he never cried in front of people. And now he was just sick of it and he let everything out. He was sobbing hard.the members were really surprised to see him like that. Seungho went to him and hugged him, trying to calm him down. It was the first time that the members see him cry like that. In the four years that they lived together, it was the first time.

The members were crying  and so was most of the fans. Finally after a couple of minutes they calmed down a little. And now it was cheundong's turn to read what he wrote for joon '' in my life there is a lot of things that I regret doing, but I regret the things that I never had the chance to do more, and a lot of them revolves you hyung. I will never forget how you helped me when I first joined MBLAQ  without you joon I wouldn't be standing here reading this letter to you, if only we could take back time, hyung I dream about you at night, you're always smiling and so I hope you are happy out there. I know that sooner or later we'll have to move on, it will be hard but we will manage, we'll do it together hyung , with you, and with the fans.  I will never be able to thank you enough. Hyung I love you, and I hope you are happy''

 And with  only one letter left to be read, it was weird the feeling that they got when they read their letters, it's like they said goodbye, a real one and that just hurts. But they knew that it was a part of moving on.

And mir's turn came. By that time mir was already crying.. Mir was trying hard to read what he wrote but It was hard. Everytime he plans on reading the words he wrote  a sob stops him.

Finally mir managed to read what he wrote. '' it has been a couple of weeks  since you were gone but still the fact that you are gone never seemed real. When it first happened It  took me some time to believe it and now that I finally believe it I can't seem to get over it. hyung why did you do it? was it really easy to leave everything behind? We really  didn't mean anything to you? Hyung I know I'm selfish, I know that and that's why I am asking for the reason you left me behind. Hyung it's time for me to move on, after today I won't cry over what happened. Hyung I will go on with my life. I'll forget you hyung. You should do the same. So be happy wherever you are and goodbye''  mir was sobbing really hard, It hurts, saying these words about someone you deeply care about. Maybe it was selfishness, the words that mir said. But for him it was the only words that seemed right, they have to move on, not for them but for joon. Maybe he should've said more meaningful words, but what would that get him? he was already gone.

Maybe the words that the members said was different, but it all meant the same thing, they all miss him and love him. 

No one talked for a while. Cheundong was trying to calm mir down but he himself couldn't stop crying, g,o was looking at the floor and crying. Nothing was heard except for the low music that was coming from the speakers at the sides of the stage.

The lights turned off and the members were backstage, getting ready for the real concert. After all they have to sing and perform like they used to. They started with their song it's war. It was stupid, that five minutes ago they were crying and now they are supposed to forget it and dance. But they did it, for the fans.

The song began with joon's part. they didn't want anyone to sing his part so they just played what they recorded. While playing a video of them performing back when joon was with them.

And so they sang song by song, till they got to g.o's solo, g.o decided he would play that song that he once wrote for joon and he did. And for once in a while he was proud of himself. He kept singing and just liked he promised joon he didn't care about the tears that were now falling. It actually felt nice to let everything out, he now knows that there is no point of hiding it.

And so after performing a couple of songs that they knew they were all able to feel proud of what they did, they weren't as weak as they thought they were. Yes they cried and they needed each other, but that was all a part of moving on. And they were happy to be able to do that, to perform and to say goodbye to the fans and to joon. And so by the end of the concert they were smiling, they were proud, and happy.

And so it was all done, they felt it, sitting here in the car going back to their dorm to pack their things. It was sad that it was all over. But it was for the best. And now everything that happened in the past four years was nothing but memories. Including tonight, nothing but memories.

When they finally got to the dorm everyone went to his own room they had to pack because this place is for MBLAQ  and these days were over. And so each one went and started packing, picking up everything that is theirs and also a couple of things just to remind them that once there was something called MBLAQ. Yes, they wanted to move on but they never want to forget these days.

Someone knocked on g.o's door and when he went to open it it was seungho he asked him if he wanted to read a page of joon's diary, he said that they could finish packing tomorrow.

And like that they all went to the living room and once again g.o picked the diary and started reading.

April 9^th 2007:

And so it has been a week since my parents found out about the drug situation. I hate what I am doing to my parents, they never deserved a kid like me, they always tried their best to give me everything I could ever need but I guess it wasn't enough for me. And So the question that I myself cannot answer is why am I like this? What did my parents ever do to deserve a kid like me? I'm not gonna lie and say that I didn't care about them because I do care, and I am guilty for what happened, but if I could take it all back would I ? I know I wouldn't and that's just me, and I hate it. But I got to accept who I am. It hurts the fact that my parents won't ever look at me the way they used to, and that they will never think of me the same. I want to go and beg for forgiveness but  it's already too late.  I was worried about my parents but I never worried about school and about people there, I knew that there were already rumors about me but I didn't care. I knew what was waiting for me and I had to face it and so I decided to go today. And just like I expected everyone was staring at me and whispering to each other. I didn't pay attention to them so I just sat in my seat at  the back of the class. Class after class passed and it was already lunch time, and just like usual I went to the roof and put my headphones on. It was the only quiet place in the whole school and I liked it. I was lying on my back and I again asked the question that I always ask myself, it this life that I am living actually worth living? For me I didn't have any plans, I didn't like anything and I just felt useless .i  was lost in my thoughts , I didn't notice it when a girl came and sat beside me. I looked up and took off my headphones. She kept staring in front of her, like no one was sitting next to her. I kept staring until she finally turned and looked at me. '' I always sit here during lunch time, or well at least ever since I found out about this place which was last week. '' She said. She was that girl that came here a couple of weeks ago. ''Well I think I should go, I don't expect you to want anyone''  she said. '' I don’t mind, you don't seem like someone who talks much''. She chuckled. And with that I lay back and put my headphones back on and just like that we spent  our lunch time.