They gathered in one of the waiting rooms and sat down on the sofas. They were tired, but they couldn't rest. Their minds were too anxious. Yeah, they knew they couldn't continue as MBLAQ and right now, they honestly didn't feel like performing ever again either... but... they liked what they do. Music is all they knew, all they lived for in the last few years and now it would be gone. Just like that. The fans also troubled them. How could they just disband without saying goodbey? The fans have supported them for all this time, they were their source of strenght and happiness, they trusted them so how could they disappoint them so much?  A+ deserved better. They deserved more.

There was a flat screen in the room and it played MV's or cuts from variety shows, in which the artists of the company appeared. They didn't pay attention to it, but suddenly they heard the familiar laugh. They turned their gaze towards the screen and they saw Joon, smiling and laughing, being his usual pabo self. The video was from behind the scenes of their latest concert. 

They were fooling around with each other. G.O. was having a starring fight with Seungho and Mir and Joon were tickling each other. Thunder was the one recording it. The camera shook here and there, the video was not clear, obviously done by an amatuer, but Thunder captured something, that no else would be able to. This was true. The members, were not conscious of the camera, because it was Cheundoong recording.

They tried not to pretend and stay true to themselves when they were recording, but you can't help it. You are selfconscious when you know, it will get aired. You try to stick to your concept and be y or funny or cute... You simply think about your image. It's not like you are someone totally different, no, it's still you, just not as relaxed or as comfortable.

But this video was different. The cut didn't air, because the quality of the video was really not that good, but it reminded them of the time, when it was all good, when they were all together. They again started to have teary eyes, because they were painfully aware, they will never laugh together like that again. Something changed, though. Ever since, they started to read the diary, the memories of Joon seemed fake, like they never really knew the true him. The diary was dark, they view on Joon was slowly changing and they were forgetting, that Joon might have inner troubles, but he still was a cheerful kid. He was not always pretending when he was with them. His laugh, his smiles, they were real. Because those little dancing stars in his eyes, that they could see even trough the flat screen, those could not be fake. You can't act them out, no matter how talented an actor you are. 

So even if it hurt, even if it brought tears to their eyes, it also helped them to remember the other half of the real Joon. Their moment was over when someone knocked on the door. It was their manager and they knew it was time to face the reality. Their steps were heavy as they approached the office. 

The director didn't smile at them, he didn't try to make them feel better or act as this was okay. He was a smart man, he knew there was no point in doing it.

"My condolences."

Everyone just mumbled a thank you.

"I'm really sorry about what happened. I know, this is tough for you and I feel guilty for making this even harder, but you know, you can't continue as MBLAQ anymore. I will inform the media tomorrow about your disbanding. However, you all still have valid contracts with this company, so it doesn't need to be an end to everything. You can try a solo career, or acting, maybe modeling... Think about it and let me know, which area you would be interested in. Of course, I will give you enough time to get over this situation."

The members were unable to meet the director's eyes, they weren't sure they could get over this... like ever... but it was nice of him to still offer them a job. Mir was the first one to speak.

"I agree with you. MBLAQ can't continue without Joon, but we also can't leave just like that. We should say goodbey to our fans, so please let us do the last concert. We owe them as much."

The director nodded.

"Okay, I think, it's a good idea. I will think about it more and you can decide on the day. Now, go and rest. You all look terrible."

The members left, still not fully comprehending, that it really was going to end. Once they were back to their dorm, they decided to read another entry of Joon's diary.

April 2nd 2007

I knew I couldn't hide from them forever but it still suprised me how fast they found me. I haven't paid them for a few doses already and I was aware, that my debt was just growing but I still haven't found a way how to repay them. Well, they got angry with me, of course. So they waited for me and when I was going home from school, they grabbed me and took me to one of the dark alleys, that everyone stays away from. They started to beat me up. The punches came from all directions, hitting my body all over, but once I fall down, they were careful not to kick my head and just concentrated on the stomach. They were not stupid afterall. A murder would be a serious crime. I tried to block the hits, but I wasn't very successful. It hurt. It really hurt. They eventually stopped and left me there, all bloody and covered in bruises. I tried to stand up and walk, but everything hurt too much. My vision was little fuzzy and I had to lean on the wall for support when I took the steps towards the main street. Each movement brought a new wave of pain and tears started to stink in my eyes. I wasn't sure if I would make it to the street. It seemed so far away. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to. Maybe, I should just give up. Just lie here and wait to bleed to death. I don't know why I was trying to get out, to make someone help me and save me. What was the point? Wasn't I tired of this life? What waits for me if I survive? Dealing with school and parents, overcoming my drug addiction? As much as I hated taking the drugs, they were my only escape. The only exciting thing in my life. Everything else was just so dull. I was busy thinking about everything, I haven't even noticed, I've already made it to the street. I guess, the surviving instict is in everyone. People kept starring at me and I haven't blamed them. If how I felt was any indication to how I looked like, it sure wasn't a pretty sight. My legs couldn't hold me anymore and I collapsed. Someone must have took pity on me and called an ambulence, because I don't remember anything afterwards, I just woke up in the hospital bed. I guess, they gave me some painkillers, because I wasn't hurting as much as before, but my relief was short-lived since I've noticed, that on the chairs next to my bed are sitting my mom and dad.