Taeil moaned as Jihoon lift him up on the kitchen counter, the taller wasting no time to along his neck, nibbling lightly. They kissed each other rather passionate, Jihoon pulling him so close that Taeil had trouble breathing. Without breaking contact, Jihoon's hands eagerly pulled up Taeil's shirt, caressing the smaller's stomach and lower back. Taeil shivered, not used to the feeling, but too to care.

He wasn't thinking, didn't really know what was happening and the moans and groans still coming from the second floor made him go crazy.

"I want you so badly," Jihoon whispered, taking hold of Taeil's arms, lifting them up over his shoulders.

Taeil linked his arms around the younger's neck, as he obviously wanted him to, and let Jihoon buckle up his pants, devouring his mouth once again. He shut his eyes as Jihoon's hand graced his right , the younger breaking the kiss to on the older's collarbone, leaving an angry red mark.

The sound of jeans falling to the floor made Taeil open his eyes. Jihoon dark eyes gazed back at him, pulling Taeil's pants down, not breaking eyecontact, hands reaching around to take a full grap of his . Taeil inhaled in shock as Jihoon trusted his pelvis against his own, their s touching for the first time. Both of them let out a strangled moan and Taeil felt himself shaking, not knowing why. Jihoon wasted no time as he went down to kiss Taeil's neck again and let himself enter the smaller's boxers, squeezing Taeil's .

It became too much, too private.

"Ji-jihoon.." Taeil stuttered, squirming in Jihoon's strong grip.

Jihoon pulled more at his boxers, bringing a hand in between his cheeks, massaging his and thighs.

"Stop... Ji-aah.. S-stop," Taeil tried effortlessly.

Jihoon didn't listen and bit down hard again on his shoulder, as if to mark NO.

Taeil was starting to shake even more as he tried to put his arms down in an attempt to pull his boxers up again, but Jihoon's grip was too strong, too tight.

"S-stop Jihoon!"

Another trust met his hips, bringing their clothed crotches together, Taeil shut his eyes in both pleasure and panic. Jihoon kept on rubbing their abdomens together steadily, breathing hard against his neck.

"STOP!"

Taeil pushed the blonde away with as much force he could gather, so hard that Jihoon lost his balance and fell to the floor.

Taeil slided down from the counter, pulling his pants up and let his shaking legs bring him to the floor. He felt disgusting. He heard Jihoon slowly make his way towards him, not daring to look up.

The younger reached a hand to him, touching Taeil's cheek, "S-sorry..."

Taeil slapped the younger's hand away.

"Taeil, don't be mad... I'm sorry, I went-"

"Don't," Taeil whispered, looking up at the other, "Don't say anything,"

He struggled to get up, letting the wall lead him as he left. The world was spinning way too much, and it felt like forever to reach the door. Finally stepping outsite, getting hit by the fresh evening air calmed him, and he sank down on the grass, not far away from the door.

He could hear giggles coming from beside him, "Why are you so tried? Something happened inside?"

It was Kyung,

"The kitchen has windows you know."

Taeil turned to glare at them, "Nothing happened."

"Oh, I think something happened," Jiho smirked, "And you seemed to enjoy it!"

Taeil felt sick. Sick that Jiho and Kyung had seen it, which meant he couldn't deny it. Sick about what had happened, that it went too far, and that he'd enjoyed it. The whole situation, plus the amount of alcohol and the spinning world made him want to throw up. He tried to stand up, but his legs wouldn't let him.

"You came out pretty quickly though," Kyung continued, "No time for ?"

Jiho and Kyung started laughing and it was a long time ago Taeil had felt this humiliated. He felt like a , even though nothing huge had really happened.

"Shut up..."

His legs finally was stable enough to hold up his weight.

"Why did you come out alone?" Jiho wondered, "Did Jihoon faint when he finally got to-"

"SHUT UP!"

Jiho and Kyung stared at him.

"Hey, why-"

"I thought you brought me here to make new friends, Jiho," Taeil glared at the younger. "But it was just for Jihoon to get into my pants, wasn't it?"

Jiho looked at him and shook his shoulders, "I don't know."

Taeil rolled his eyes, "I hope you're happy with the ing result."

"Yah, don't turn me into a bad guy here."

Taeil scoffed and turned to walk away.

"Hey, where are you going?" Kyung walked after him, "You're not seriously angry are you?"

Taeil ignored him and continued walking, craving time to be alone.

After one minute or so, when Kyung or Jiho fnally gave up the questioning and was out of sight, he sank to the ground. He sat in silence, not really thinking about anything, just sitting, staring at the bushes ahead of him.

Jihoon felt the pain as he sat on the kitchen floor quietly, watching Taeil leave. He should go after him, but what he'd done was wrong - so very wrong. He sat there for a while, staring at he floor before he stood up and gulped down a glass of water, refilling it and drink with shaking hands. He really should go after him... even if he ed everything up.

He walked slowly to the front door, opening it to see if he saw the smaller guy but he saw no one else but Jiho and Kyung still drinking and laughing loudly. He stepped outside, buttoning his pants again.

"Jihoon-ah!" Jiho smirked and came towards him, teasing, "How did it goooo?"

Jihoon looked at him and sighed, shaking his head, and Jiho gave him a confused look.

"What? Did you scare him or something?" Kyung chuckled, "He was pretty y when he came out." Kyung moved closer, nudging his shoulder,"Or, did you not let him come?"

The others giggled, but Jihoon groaned out a silent 'hyung' and kept his face emotionless.

"Where is he?" he asked, voice small.

Jiho eyed him, being more sober than Kyung to kind of get the point.

Jihoon met his friends' eyes, "Where did he go?"

"He went off down the road," Jiho answered.

Jihoon nodded a 'thank you' and took a few steps before Jiho took hold of his arm, looking at him seriously, "What happened?"

Jihoon felt the tears in his eyes as he answered in a whisper, "I think... I nearly him."

Jiho stared at him, "What? Of course you didn't! Come on, what happened?"

Jihoon didn't want to answer, he didn't even know what to say. He pushed Jiho off him and ran down the road in hope to find the other.

Taeil shivered as the cold wind swept through him and he hugged his legs close.

Why did I kiss him?

Does this mean something?

Did he like Jihoon? Why had he let the younger boy go as far as he did?

The thought scared him, and the fact that Jihoon had been so strong, taking on the lead without a second thought, scared him even more. Since when did I become so weak? The thing Taeil hated the most was being vulnerable and defenseless, and that was exactly what he had been just now against Jihoon.

What did I expect in coming here, really? he sighed, looking up at the sky.

"Taeil?"

The weak voice coming from behind surprised him. He jolted, turning around, seeing Jihoon stand awkwardly a few meters behind him.

"C-can I sit down?" the blonde asked and Taeil turned his gaze away from him, nodding

The younger sat down, not too close, beside the other and Taeil could feel himself getting scanned from top to toe of any sign of emotion.

"I'm sorry," Jihoon started, "I... went too far,"

Taeil wanted to say, 'Yes! You nearly ing me!' but he couldn't.
He didn't know why he couldn't - maybe because it was he who literally begged to get kissed again, it was he who allowed Jihoon to go too far.

"Yeah, but don't worry," Taeil said, head down.

It was not the answer Jihoon wanted, Taeil noticed.

The younger shifted in his position, "Don't say that," he said, pulling his hand through his hair, "You got afraid! I clearly noticed and I'm really sorry. I just... you know I like you!" he groaned out loudly.

Taeil jumped a little at the sudden rise of volume, Jihoon got taken aback by his own voice as well, lowering his tone as he continued,

"I know you don't like me, but when you suddenly responded to everything I just... I thought..."

Taeil looked down at the grass again, pulling off some straws, rolling them between his fingers.

Jihoon sighed, "I didn't want to drink alcohol today, because well, I know it makes me too for my own good."

"Alcohol makes 90% of all the human population ," Taeil snorted.

Jihoon let out a laugh, "Yeah but-"

"Don't worry," Taeil continued, "I led you on so..."

They fell into silence once again.

Taeil was so confused with himself. He got so scared before and still felt disgusting, but at the same time he felt that recent wierd warm feeling inside his body. The alcohol rush seemed pretty much gone, since the whole stupid situation had cleared up his head.

But the feeling he'd felt with Jihoon pressed so close had felt... good. His body had been warm, and if you didn't count the force he'd had from being too eager, Jihoon had actually been quite a good kisser. But then again, Jihoon was a guy, and trying out a new thing, just for one time, made nearly everyone excited.

"Taeil?"

"Mm?"

"Do you hate me?"

The question caught Taeil off gard, and he looked up at the miserable boy.

"No," he said, watching him carefully.

"But you don't like me, right?" Jihoon continued.

Taeil saw the tears that was about to fall from Jihoon's eyes.

, don't show me that face...

The guilt was back, forming in his stomach, and he cursed at it. This had just been a one-time drunken fun thing, nothing special, nothing meaningful. Still, this had meant something to Jihoon. The reason for the guilt, he'd hurt someone, and being hurt, when you'd been so happy, was the worst thing in the world.
He didn't know what kind of answer he could give,

"I... I don't know," he finally said.

Jihoon nodded, "I just hope you'll forgive me," he stood up, "Come on, let's go inside. It's starting to get cold and I think things have calmed down at the house."

Taeil wanted to stay more by himself, but gave in, taking hold of Jihoon's hand helping him get up. They started to walk back to the house in silence, the road much longer than Taeil had remembered. When the house finally was in sight, Jihoon stopped.

"Can... um, can't I-," he trailed off, biting his lip, "Can I just hug you once?"

Taeil looked at him.

Jihoon gave him a pleading look, "Please?"

"O-ok," Taeil answered hesitantly, and Jihoon walked up to him carefully, leaning down to embrace him. There it was, the warmth and strong embrace once again. It was as if he was afraid to let go, as if this was a 'goodbye'. Taeil slowly linked his arms around the younger's lower back and closed his eyes, letting him get hugged.

Why am I feeling like this?

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A/N: Hope you like the new chapter♥ It makes me so happy to see all the positive and loving comments! argh hugs to y'all~