- Prologue -

 

It was always like this, he being the one left behind while his best friend found a better best friend, or when a lover found someone who was more attractive, more their style.

He had never been anyone's first choice - ever.

He remembered the first time he'd fallen in love. Her name was Na Rim and it really had been like flying on fluffy clouds, and everytime he had seen her in the corridors of the school, it was just like she had been glowing. They had become friends one day during a school trip, and afterwards she and her friends had taken him and his friends out for some karaoke - that had been one of the best days in Taeil's life.

After that they met a lot of times outside of school, both alone and together with friends. And one day after watching a movie in her house, Taeil got his first kiss. He couldn't have been more happy - that was until the day she said she liked his friend more than him.

"I'm sorry.. but I think I like Yong Jun more than you."

Taeil had been angry and heartbroken. One of his best friend had taken his first love away from him. He didn't even know that just the two of them had been meeting each other. But later he'd found out from his other friend that the times Yong Jun had been missing their vocal trainings for being sick, that was when he actually had been meeting up with Na Rim. Taeil became even more angry, because that had been loads of times...

Yong Jun had come to him to ask for forgivness, hoping that they would still be friends. Taeil hadn't looked at him, just shrugged it of and wished them a happy relationship - he never talked to his friend or the girl again after that.

He also remembered during his high school days when he had found that best friend, that friend who everything just clicked together with perfectly, that kind of best friend screenwriters only created in drama's on the TV. His name was Woohyun, they shared the same interests and really did everything together. They traveled during the weekends to watch their favorite bands, also went around drinking alcohol with friends and random people they had met at different concerts.

Taeil could tell everything to Woohyun and the other could do the same to him. Since both of them weren't the happiest people - Taeil had struggels with depression and Woohyun had a very hard time at home, but when they were together all the worries tended to disappeard for a moment. Woohyun also was the only person Taeil could ever cry in front of.

They liked to talked about what to do after graduation, as they both wanted to study abroad. It was like their united dream, to both go to the same university in the same town in a far away country, away from the sorrows and bad memories they had in Seoul.

They had promised to be best friends forever.

Some days before graduation Woohyun came to him and told him that his father had passed away and all of his savings had gone to him. Since his father had been a very successfull buisnessman in the mobile-industry before he got fired, he had had loads of money stored in the bank for his pension which had now gone to his son.

Woohyun had never had a good relation with his father. His mother had died while giving birth to him, so his father had always had a grudge against him for 'killing his own mother'. After he had been fired, he had started to drink too much and in the end it gave him liver cancer. Both Woohyun and Taeil had been kind of surprised that his father had given him all that money.

"He should've just given everything to that stupid lover he had around him all the time. She got everything exept for the pension." Woohyun had said with a confused frown.

"Maybe he felt sorry for you." Taeil had joked.

Woohyun had smiled at him, "Maybe, since I'm poor as !"

They had laughed, "Or maybe he really did love you. He never told you he hated you right?" Taeil said.

"I like to think in that way too, Taeil-ah,"

After graduation Woohyun had come running to him with a big smile, saying that he had been accepted into the school in London they both wanted to go to.

Taeil was surprised - Woohyun hadn't told him anything about even applying to the school. Woohyun had explained to him that he needed to start a new life and that he would go to London and wait for Taeil there. Taeil looked at him with a disappoited face, his best friend knew he hadn't got any money and it would take him at least two years of work to get enough money to go abroad to study, maybe even more. In the end Woohyun had left Seoul, with promises of trying to talk on skype as much as possible.

The first three months had gone good, Taeil complained about his boss at the new work, and Woohyun told about all the awesome things he saw daily - but more time went by and less time for talking came. Taeil tried to keep contact as much as possible but in a way he felt that Woohyun didn't want to.  

Six months after Woohyun had left, they talked on skype and Taeil sensed that Woohyun had changed. He didn't want to listen to everything Taeil said any longer, and Woohyun only told him stories about his new friends and this amazing girl he had met that he had with everyday, or so it seemed.
Another half year went by and he hadn't heard anything from Woohyun the last five months. He had left many messengers on facebook, skype and mail, but never got a reply back. In the end he had given up - if he didn't want anything to do with him any longer, then he shouldn't force it on him...

Ever since the day Woohyun left his side, it was like he was walking around in a big black labyrint with no ending. His depression grew on him when he had no one to talk about the pain with, and all the other friends kind of continued with their own lives after graduating. Instead of letting his thoughts eat him up alive, he had drowed himself into different part-time jobs 18 hours a day.

He didn't even know what he wanted the money he earned for any longer, since the urge to go abroad just wasn't exciting at all anymore. But after the first year of working he bought himself an own apartment close to a dog shelter since he really loved animals. The middle-aged couple that was running the shelter were nice to him and invited him for dinner at least three times a week.

Playing at the shelter with the dogs also made him feel relaxed. The dogs there was just as abandoned as he was, and that made him want to give them all the love they showed him back to them. Dogs weren't judging, neither did they leave their friends or owners behind. He always felt heartbroken for the animals who had to get through pain and death by the cause of stupid idiots called human beings. Animals were very precious to him.

That was Taeil's life now - waking up, saying hi to the dogs at the shelter, work and then sleep. Even though he quit one of his jobs so he only worked 12 hours a day now, he still felt like a robot, showing no emotions to anyone exept for the dogs and the couple at the shelter. His parents hadn't bothered visiting him, only calling to ask how he was doing once every week - they had never cared that much for him anyway, his little brother was way more important.

He walked home, holding the black been noodle package he'd brought from his part-time job in his hand, looking up at the stars. He thought about what Woohyun was doing, what if they still would be friends and he still lived in Seoul then they would probably be out drinking and flirting with random girls this friday night.

He snorted to himself. It was not that he wanted it, the urge for contact with people and one-night-stands had faded away long ago. But the feeling of having someone who actally wanted to hang out with you, and girls who actually wanted to have with you was dearly missed.

"Who am I kidding though," he whispered to himself, "I will never be able to trust somebody that much again."

Because why would someone stay when everyone had left?

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