Chapter Twelve

“I want to leave.” She uttered without batting her eyes in the softest voice that she had.

If someone can hear her without looking at her face, they would think that she was bluffing about wanting to leave. Her voice may sound so unsure but she knew in her heart what she really wanted to do. She has already made up her mind.

She wanted to leave.

Some may say that her decision to leave is wrong.  Some may believe that she is just saying this because of the things that had happened. She knew that there are lots of people who wanted to be in her place right now. She knew that many people are willing to give anything in exchange to what she has now. As what most of them says, she has everything a girl can wish for. She has the money, the fame, the hottest guy in the country and almost a perfect life.

She can give up her life or exchange it with someone else for just one wish.

Her baby. And she knew it was impossible.

There’s no way her baby will be here. Her baby has been taken away from her in a snap of a finger. Her baby that did not see the light of the world, her baby that she has never held and her baby that she longed to care for. She had not even named her baby yet. She doesn’t even have a single photograph with her.  She has not been given a chance to introduce herself.

Yes, she has almost everything one can wish for in the world that she’s living now. But this very world that everyone wanted to have, it has taken someone away from her. This world caused her baby and she can’t continue staying in this as it will always remind her of what she has loss.

She took a deep breath as she repeated her words again, “I want to leave.”

“WHAT?” She heard him yell from behind her. His voice was so strained that she knew he was surprise at her words. She heard him mumbled, “No, no… she can’t.”

She took a deep breath before turning her head towards the direction where the voice came from. She saw him look at her face, her expression and she saw him resigned to it.

“You can’t leave…” Jiyong hissed as he strides toward her direction and grabbed her forcefully by the arm. His fingers were crushing and hurting her. With a furious glare, he repeated his words and emphasizing each syllable of it, “You cannot leave.”

She did not look down and what she did is met his gaze. It seems like forever since she last look at him in the eyes and at that very moment, she saw his eyes filled with wariness and fear. She noticed that he lost a lot of weight and that there are dark circles surrounding his eyes. He looked so tired and harassed.

She wanted to feel for him but she cannot. It’s like her heart has been frozen and she can’t feel anything at all. She sighed before turning her eyes away from the prying eyes of his and in a flash, she pushed him away from her, to his surprise and to everyone’s surprise.

“I meant every word I said, sajangnim. I want to leave.” She repeated her words again as she stepped back and turned her attention to the president.

She heard him groaned and her eyes widened as he slammed his hands on the president’s table.

“Damn it, you can’t leave! She can’t leave!” Jiyong yelled and surprised everyone at his outburst. He paused for a second as his expression turned into despair. He begged on his knees, “Hyung… tell her she cannot leave… She has a contract…”

She looked at him with pity on her face.

“Hyung… please don’t let her leave… Don’t let her leave me…” Jiyong cried like a child crying out for his mother.

“Dara-yah…” Bom spoke for the very first time.

She looked away and stared blankly at the wall behind the president. She would not waver just because of her friend. She has already decided this.

“I’m not going to stop you but Jiyong’s right. You still have a contract with us.” YG finally said after his long silence. The president looked at her hard as if studying her expression as he continued, “But you still want to leave even knowing that?”

“I already know that, sajangnim. I also knew that my contract is expiring in one month. If I have remembered it correctly, I haven’t returned the new contract yet as I haven’t signed it.” Dara spoke earnestly as she apologetically looked at her red haired friend. She saw a flash of hurt appeared in her eyes. Her friend looked so betrayed but she has to do this. She paused and continued, “I’m not renewing my contract, sajangnim.”

“You can be sued for the other contracts like your endorsements and your upcoming drama.” YG added as he glared at the younger boy who was as red as tomato in anger. He looked at the girl again and asked, “Are you sure about this decision? Are you ready to face the consequences of your action?”

She took a deep breath and slightly nodded. She already knew the things that might happen once she revoked or decided not to renew their contract. She doesn’t know but she knew it will be hard but she can cope up. She can stand by her decision. Her family is with her.

“D-ah, please… reconsider this one… Think about it…” Jiyong pleaded as he looked at her with hopeful eyes.

For the first time since she saw him this day, she felt something touched her almost frozen heart. But it’s not enough. She already made her decision and it won’t change. She shook her head in response that trigger another one of Jiyong’s anger.

“This is your dream! The one that you worked your off! You’re abandoning the thing that you wished for? Are you going to just turn your back on this? I knew you better than this!” Jiyong angrily said.

Her eyes turned into slits as she clenched her fist.

“YES to those questions! And yes, you should know me better than this. You should know how hard it would be for me to reach this decision. You should know that. I did my best to prove all those people that thought that I don’t deserve to be in this group. I constantly have to defend myself from their unjust criticism. I’m the one who constantly have to prove myself over and over again and that I am not just another pretty face. Until now, I don’t know if I have proved myself enough!” She yelled back and took a deep breath. She looked at him in the eyes as she continued, “Being a singer and living in this world was my dream… but this world took someone away from me and I’m so scared that I will lose myself as well. Isn’t it enough? I just want to save myself… and I thought you’ll understand that but I thought differently.”

“I’m sorry…” Jiyong whispered.

She shook her head and looked at the president as she wiped her tears. She let out a deep breath as she said, “If you need to contact me, you know where I’m staying, sajangnim.”

She turned her back and walked out of the room, leaving the others behind. Until she closed the door behind her, she can hear Jiyong’s crying out her name.

“What will happen now? To us?” She heard their youngest asked.

She looked at her and she saw fear and sadness in the youngest girl’s eyes. She motioned for her tome closer and she wrapped her arms around the little girl.

“I don’t know, Mingkki-yah… I don’t know.” She whispered as she caressed the back of the little girl.

“Would Dara-unnie really leave us? Was her decision final?” Minzy asked as she tried to hold back her tears.

“I wish I know the answer… All I know was that Dara is scared as well. She’s lonely like us and she’s the one who’s most affected amongst all of us.” She whispered. “Are you mad at her?”

“A bit, yeah… But I understand where she’s coming from. It must be really hard for her.” Minzy answered sincerely. “I just hope that we can still be together. You know, 2NE1… the fiercest foursome…”

“Even with CL being a most of the time?” She asked in a light manner.

“Yeah, even with that. Because 2NE1 is not 2NE1 with one of us missing, right?” Minzy said.

“Yeah…” She replied.

“And once upon a time, you were once a too.” MInzy lighty said which made the two of them laugh a bit. “So what will happen next?”

“I’m not sure but the sajangnim is calling for a meeting where everyone will be present…” She replied. “After that, who knows what will happen next?”

“I hope it’s for the best…” Minzy cooed.

“Yeah, I hope so.”

“Hyung!” He heard the maknae called his attention. He turned around and saw the confused expression on the youngest member’s face. There may have been a question on his face that Seungri said, “I haven’t seen you around for a while and it’s a critical time for everyone.”

“Critical?” He asked and a frown was formed on his forehead. “What do you mean?”

“Where have you been during these times?” Seungri exclaimed, a little exaggerated.

He chuckled at the maknae’s expression and made Seungri looked at him with a frown.

“What?” He asked.

“This is not a laughing matter hyung!” Seungri exclaimed and moved his hands in exaggeration.

“I really don’t understand.” He plainly said.

“Dara noona is leaving 2NE1.” Seungri announced that shocked him. But what followed next was more shocking, “No, the more appropriate statement is that noona was leaving YG. She’s not renewing her contract.”

“What?” He yelled. “But it’s her dream…” He paused and remembered what happened and how he’s a little involved on what has transpired. He whispered, “What did Jiyong say? He allowed that to happen?”

The younger guy paled at his question and surprised him by answering, “Jiyong-hyung… is inconsolable. No one seems to reach him.”

“Youngbae?” He inquired about the other guy that can reach out the leader.

“He’s also out of his wits too.” Seungri said and curved a sad smile on his face. “That’s why hyung. You need to be here… You’re the one who has a chance to pull those two back. You’re older than them, perhaps, they’ll listen to you.”

“Seungri…”

“Hyung, please… I don’t want to…” Seungri begged. “I don’t want to disband just because of this.”