Hi lovelies.... i promise there's real answer's here this time... and i hope i haven't created more questions... i've got to leave something out... but shouldn't be able to drive ppl crazy *ahem.... *cough... right?! XD enjoy xxoo       ~~~~~     Kyuhyun POV
 
So this is how i believe every morning should be or should i say how every time i wish to awake to be.  A soft pillow under my head, toasty blanket over my body, a faint scent of fresh lime and the sound of morning breeze outside.  So quiet and peaceful.  How i miss this tranquillity before even my eyes were open.  How i wish for just a few more seconds! But when my hearing starts to adjust to the harmony next to me. How my heart being weirdly buzzing,  before i know it, i am no longer in control of my eyes, as it opens with desire.  That's when i realise, the sight i have can kick that tranquillity right up it tushy . 
My head actually wasn't on any pillow, but the well tone arm of one Choi Siwon.  The warmth i felt surrounding me was indeed radiated by his majestic body pressed right up against me.  The scent allured by that baby shampoo i once said i could never get bored of.  And finally the serenity i felt was through that steady beating heart i have my hand over and those soft chime coming from his breathes.  If one want to know what living is, this is it.  The ability to excess the level of happiness and peace.  For me that ability is by one person, Choi Si Won.  
 
I smile at how i manage to snuggle our bodies even closer than it is, trying my best not to wake him up.  I rather enjoy taking these little moments with my Wonnie. Just like before.  Ahhhh that reminds me, i still haven't come around telling him yet, how.I.remember. 
 
I'm not sure when, but its been a while that i started to remember bits and pieces, yet there's sooooooo many bits and pieces of nonsense. I didn't think its require to tell anyone.  For example i remember my passwords to my online accounts, the time i nearly burn down the stove trying to make pizza which i later find out i should have just use the oven.  Also the timessss i crash his car but never told him and when he does finds out i'll blame it on Donghae or hyung's, whoever that said-man will be out of the country. I never told anyone about my flashes, i only wrote them down in my diaries, yes i have more than one cause more and more little events start showing up.  But still what happened between me and Siwon never float through my mind.  It always bother me when this sole person is my up most important yet i just can't apprehend. 
 
Maybe its true what Maxie said, yes i've always called him Maxie, kinda like a big dog, anyway he said that 'people sometimes chose to suppress what they tressure the most'.  So when i manage to finish the stories he was telling me yesterday or correct him on small details, he was just equally shock as i am.  Maybe i should have ask hyung's earlier, i might just needed someone to start with a memory and i'll be able to finish the rest as it plays in my mind.  If only Siwon wouldn't distract me with his tears every time i mention about our past.  With those 'tears' blinking back to me, at this moment i don't want to hug this cry-baby, besides i really need to pee.    Wiggling a way out from his embrace has never been easy, and yet he doesn't understand why no one was willing to share a bed with him even during our school years.  Siwon has a habit of hugging people in his sleeps and frankly it scare us when we were kids. 
 
Tiptoeing my way to the bathroom, every thing was still exactly the same.  I didn't get a chance to look at the surrounding in details yesterday when Changmin left after Heechul hyung texted him about a wild horse running bonkers back here.   He promise not to tell anyone about my memories till i'm ready, which of course he swear his life on.  Moments after he left, Siwon busted through the front door while i was looking at the spot where my life was nearly taken.    Later that night with Siwon, as always, filled with much affection and passion like every other i remember, it was a total distraction to inform him of my new knowledge. 
 
We kiss devotedly
We hug tenderly
We make love passionately
We live
 
Aish...i really shouldn't be thinking about last night when that goof is just lying outside, on the bed, ... STOP it kyuhyun.  That's when i look around to see if i could spot something out of line, opening the bathroom vanity that manage to blank out my mind.  Sight upon a lot i mean a lot of pills i've never come across: Citalopram, Paroxetine, Sertraline, Benzodiazepines.  Reading the labels of their descriptions sunk my heart into the deep blue, all antidepressants and sleeping aids. Every single one of them under the name Choi Siwon. My baby. My love. My life
 
When i finally close the cabinet, i try to calm my imagination as i exhale deeply glad that all my hyungs were living in such close quarters and i'm sure they kept a close watch on him.  Suddenly i felt Donghae and Eunhyuk's barging in habit wasn't totally humiliating.  Softly making my way back to my love, his slightly frown si-brows.  I couldn't help but climb in with a little too much force than needed, i want him to snuggle up to me.  I don't feel like sleeping, rather i wanna watch him. 
 
Feeling how the bed moved on the other side, Siwon slightly open his eyes.  Realising i was out of his embrace he pouted shamelessly.  Such a baby.  "mmmmm"
 
*muah "shhh.... it's still early, sleep wonnie" Some soft cooing after that kiss always turn any pouts back to its original form.  Cuddling around my waist till i yelp for him to release his hold.  I caress his cute cheek, rubbing his other cheek against my side till that smile appear.  My siwon is back to sleep again with my hand patting him lightly on the shoulder.  I'm actually surprise that i woke up before him, normally he's the one bugging me or poking me to wake up.  He's always the one with the most stamina among all of us, i am especially proud of, since i'm always at the receiving end.... if you know what i mean. 
 
But as i look towards the bathroom, it reminds me of those pills making my stomach take a turn.  I know Siwon is strong and capable of achieving anything as long as he puts his heart to it.  But i can't, i don't have the courage, i fear.... why does everything have to be so complicated.  I just want everything to be the way it was, before my fall, before my damn genuineness hacked into their security system, perhaps i shouldn't have remember.  Aishi....Damn you Maxie, my brain did have a self defence system, and i shouldn't have remembered, i shouldn't have, i shouldn't have remembered the 'one' who push me...     ~~~~~
"K-Kyunni...bobo...."
 
Siwon's whinny request took Kyuhyun out of his own frustration.  He didn't realise that tears were starting to run down his cheeks as the flashback of that night come running in his head.  Seeing everything clearly once again, hearing those voices.  Kyuhyun was slightly shivering by those daunting images, so when he slides down to Siwon's face he purposely cover Siwon's eyes while straddling him, sandwiching those lips, one at a time.  Kyuhyun control his own breathing not to give any hint of distress.  While he lower his kiss to Siwon's chin, he remove those hands and start rubbing and fondle those ears of Siwon.  He remember how Siwon feel especially relax when he playfully massage them. Puppy moans would come out from these early affections and Kyuhyun had to smile at his Siwon being so turn on early in this morning.  Kyuhyun lay down his head on Siwon's heated chest, listening to those slightly rise beat and how it enchanted those images out his head as he relaxes.
 
Kyuhyun stay there for a long time, listening to those steady rhythm.  Soon he fell asleep on top of a very uncomfortable man.  Which Siwon could only blame himself for having a 'bobo' request too early in the morning.  Siwon's cradle his baby as calmly as possible although their position was totally , Siwon doesn't have the heart to stir his sleeping beauty.   Maybe someone heard his weeping, Kyuhyun starts to shuffle in his sleep and soon roll off Siwon's hard body.  Siwon would only kiss the boy temple once and quickly drift of for a cold shower before his kyuhyun's scent makes him do other loving stuff.    Siwon POV   ... that was close... Baby you can't and leave me hanging... that's cruel.  You lucky your boyfriend is me, anyone else would just you up in your dream land.  Even though it did happen before, and you totally LOVED it... i don't think i should do that to you while you're still kinda, sorta new to this whole thing.  But you just wait... soon you'll be asking me all sort of diff....oh ... CHOI SIWON...you moron... you meant to cool down... not go hard again... arghhhhh...   I'm such a idiot, took me double the time and a toy-story sing-a-long to take my mind of Kyuhyun.  How did i ever survive those 2years without him, i'll never figure it out.  That's when i open the cabinet and saw all those perceptions waving at me.  Oh how i hated myself back then, i knew my baby will be heart broken if he finds out.  I bett