Chapter 20: It's Time to Change Park Yoochun!

“Why didn’t I realize?” Jaejoong laughed in disbelief in the car as they got on. It was definitely not a laugh full of happiness and hilarity.

“Realize…” Yoochun breathed out surprised by these whole chain of events as well. “I was threatened not to say anything by Junsu's father on my hospital bed. He told me that Kim Junsu and himself hated me and I should have just died like my mother had.”

“That kid huh? So you two did meet.” Jaejoong again took a breather, taking everything in. “But just shut up for now. Don’t talk.”

And for minutes there, both of them sat—just breathing, blinking, and seeing. Who knew that each one of them were so tightly connected together by this past that made living hell?

“So let me get this straight…” Jaejoong tried to put the pieces together. "So it wasn't the explosion that caused the crash? If it wasn't the explosion... it was you? But how?" 

“Jaejoong, the past—my past is something I am running away from,” Yoochun paused. “So I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you ing serious?” Jaejoong just automatically snapped at him. The way Yoochun acted right now just annoyed him. Right now, he didn’t give a about his feelings. He pressed the breaks really hard causing Yoochun to fly off his seat for a bit. “I, Jaejoong, need to know how your accident is connected with Junsu’s accident. His father seemed to hate you for his daughter’s death as you saw back there. You know too right? You’re the reason why we’re in such a big mess and here I am trying to fix the problem but here you are not wanting to answer because you’re afraid to get hurt? The world is not all about you! Get your head screwed on!”

Cars started to honk at them. They were in the middle of the road and were blocking the streets because of that sudden stop.

“Hey moron! You wanna die?” a driver from behind yelled at them.

“Shut up crusty geezer!” Jaejoong yelled back as he stuck out his head from his car and messed up his now blond hair that was neatly styled. Then like he was another person, he looked at Yoochun with those furious eyes. “Listen here Yoochun. I’m going to keep driving but I expect you to answer my questions.”

It was deathly quiet in that car for almost a whole minute. Jaejoong tried to wait patiently for some story to pop out and as for Yoochun beside him, he looked out the window thinking for any kind of words to say.

Where should he start?

“Sorry,” that was the word that came out of Yoochun’s lips first. “Where do you want me to start?”

“Enough for me to understand how you are involved in this and how Junsu is connected to you.”

“You see Jaejoong, after that night,” Yoochun paused to breathe. “So many things happened—so many things changing causing me to lose everything—the things that are so very important to me. For me being so cruel towards Junsu and everyone else is because of this. This past shaped the “me” now to the point where I don’t even know my own self anymore. Because I know how cruel people can get to fulfill their own selfishness, I don’t trust them. ”

“But I was telling you before! Junsu is…different! Do you not realize that it’s only Junsu you’re trying to hate? How can you be so nice to me and not to Kim Junsu? Are you just having a natural reaction that every time you see his face you get pissed off?” Jaejoong retorted. “What has he done to get this from you? What have I done to you that you be so nice to me?”

"I don’t know Jaejoong! You’re just different,” Yoochun replied knowing that this man beside him did have a point. He never really paid attention to how he treated people but now that he thought about it, he didn’t have that big of a reason of hating Junsu that much.

Jaejoong laughed at the answer. “Yoochun, I don’t know if you see my point but if I’m different from those rich men that made your life horrible, Junsu is way more different.”

“Maybe he is different! But I don’t know why I’m acting like this! I just can't help but push him away for some reason! I'm frightened of something I don't know,” Yoochun retorted. He didn’t know the explanation to his behavior.

“Face it Yoochun, you’re just scared. You’re scared to fall in love with him. In fact, you’re already in love with him aren’t you?” Jaejoong kept on pushing the things that this man with vision could not see.

“But Changmin! I love him and not Kim Junsu. That’s what I know! That’s all I know…” Yoochun added on. "Those are the beliefs that held together my life."

Saying these words just made him question himself.

“It sounds like you’re in denial Park Yoochun. Just listen to yourself! Every time I bring up the topic Kim Junsu, the word Changmin also appears. You’re just using your so called ‘boyfriend’ as a shield to protect yourself and your sensitive feelings! I understand you. I understand how you would just nail in your head the safest answer so you’d feel secure. But the world doesn’t run the way you would want it to be. You get hurt. You love. You find joy. You can’t just live a life full of happiness Yoochun. If that’s what you think then I wish you all the luck you can get.” Jaejong tried to explain his situation.

“I am a defensive person! But I wasn’t always like this! I trusted everyone—my family, my friends, and my neighbors. But the man who I trusted the most, the person I called father suddenly trying to kill us one night for life insurance changed how I look at others now. How would you feel Jaejoong? I trusted the man but it was all just a misleading thing that was made to fool both my mother and I to meet death. I’m always scared that one day I’m going to be betrayed again so I haven’t bothered making any friends. Changmin became the only man I could trust. Anyone else, I don’t want to let them inside my comfort zone.”

“Don’t compare us to your father!” Jaejoong hissed. “Not everyone is the same! Keep that in mind. Your father is neither Kim Junsu nor I. So why are you taking it out on us?”

There was no reply.

“Talk!” Jaejoong commanded as he punched the steering wheel out of frustration. “Yoochun. Please! I was really hoping that with you spending time with him he’ll eventually remember tiny details.” Jaejoong pleaded one more time. “I really don’t want Junsu to suffer any longer. Even if I’m not allowed to tell him, even if I don’t know anything else besides from sneaked out files and papers that tell me nothing, I want him to remember. He knows the most basic things in his life since that’s what he was told. He knows he had a mother. He knows he has a dead sister. He even knows he got into an accident and that he’s connected to you somehow. I'm going to find out and tell him. Maybe this way his memories will be triggered and come back. Just please."

“If this is the only way…” Yoochun sighed as he tried to collect his words. “I’ll try to change. I’ll repeat this story once so you better listen to me…”

“Then tell me your whole story Park Yoochun,” Jaejoong calmed down as he continued to drive that seemingly never ending street.

“You see, that night his sister died, that’s when my father came home drunk—“

‘Stop asking for money for the kid! Just let him die!’ Jong-Il yelled out, still very drunk. ‘After you gave birth to that child, everything went wrong for me. I got laid off. I can’t find a job. I lost money. I became bankrupt. Shouldn’t you be worried about me instead? That child! It’s his entire fault!’

‘What? You’re blaming a ten year old kid for your stupidity and your uselessness? Don’t even mention Yoochun with your problems! Isn’t the problem just you?’

‘Mom?’ Yoochun peeked from the wall behind them and ran towards his mother. ‘Don’t yell! It’s bad for your health. Dad’s just drunk.’

‘Who are you calling a drunk?’ Jong-Il wobbly walked towards the both of them giving Yoochun a slap on the face knocking the kid flying three feet away from them.

‘Yoochun!’ his mother shrieked and ran to him hugging his small body. ‘Are you alright? Go to your room okay? I’m cooking food right now. See?’ She points to the fish cooking on high fire. ‘Let me talk to your dad for a bit.’

‘Do you see this?’ His father blurted out, ‘Of course you won’t! Nobody gives a damn about me! How about me? Are you giving me food? Since I’m the working husband, shouldn’t I get that kind of treatment?’

‘You’re working? I don’t consider gambling as working. Isn’t that why we have no money right now? You tried to take the easy way out and now you got us into an even deeper debt. Isn’t it your fault not Yoochun’s?’ the mother finally retorted. "You just got scammed by what you call higher ups. Since we're in this situation, let's earn money the honest way. It'll be tough but we'll get out of this!"

‘So this is the thanks I get for feeding you, for clothing you and for giving you shelter?’ He scoffed. ‘You know what? I’m not the one that’s not useful. Aren’t you guys just dragging me down with your lowly lives?’

‘No! We’re the ones being dragged down by your lowly life. But if that’s how you see it then fine! We’ll leave!’ the mother, in anger, turned around and marched off.

But she was stopped. A hand grabbed her arm tightly making her scream.

‘What are you doing?’ she screamed as she turned around to face him. And with those fierce eyes she stared him down. ‘Let go of me.’

‘What good would that leave me? You running away? You got to be kidding! I spent too much money on the both of you so you might as well pay me back now! I’m sure both of you dead would provide me with a truck load of money.’

‘You wouldn’t dare!’

‘I would dare,’ Jong Il smiled so wickedly. And with that, he grabbed the extra propane tank sitting at the side of the stove, he swung it right at the both of them but missed for Yoochun’s mother quickly dodged it making him miss. The propane now just sat on the stove never rolling off its place on top of the fire. The white container now eventually started to turn a darker brown, then a black.

Noticing the danger of this situation, she turned around frantically and faced Yoochun. With this small of a house, it can collapse at them with a single disruption like this.

She groaned out in ache for Jong-Il still pulled on her hair.

‘We need to get out alright? It’s dangerous here,’ she told her son as she grabbed his hand. But once again she was stopped. Her head was suddenly pulled back. She screamed in pain.

‘Why are you running woman?’ Jong Il questioned her, pulling on the hair that he grabbed. ‘You can’t just run away like that. You didn’t even ask for my permission!’

‘Yoochun!’ she yelled out loud as she was in pain, ‘run outside for a bit okay? I’ll be right with you.’ She then faced him, ‘I don’t need permission to step out of this house!’

‘But I want to be with you!’ Yoochun naively said as he ran up to her trying to punch Jong-Il to try and hurt him.

It only made the father laugh as he saw that effort of wanting to rescue his mother.

‘Give it up kid. Someone like you will never ever be strong enough to fight against rich people like me.’

‘Yoochun! Just leave. Please!’

‘No! I’ll protect you from dad!’ Yoochun yelled out as he hugged her legs. ‘Don’t worry.’

‘Yoochun,’ his mom cried out loud. She started to shake from what was about to happen and the danger coming their way. ‘Come here. Come up into my arms.’

And Yoochun, being the kid he was, just simply jumped up into his mom’s embrace.

‘Why are you carrying him when I’m pulling on your hair like this? Why are all women so stupid—especially you?’

Ignoring the man, Yoochun’s mom just shed tears. Both her and Yoochun looked at each other in the eye, her deep blue eyes in Yoochun’s dark orbs in grief. ‘Yoochun, I’m so sorry it had to be like this. But I love—‘

Hearing metal crack from behind them, Jong Il looked back. And realizing what he had done, and the danger they were at, he pulled both Yoochun and his wife down to the fire to give himself a boost from escaping and tried to run.

With no hope left in her, Yoochun’s mother just pinned down the little Yoochun and cried. She kept on screaming the words, ‘I’m sorry! I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything for you Yoochun. But you have to live!’

Yoochun never really knew why. Why was she sorry? Why was she crying? Why was she hugging him so tight like there was no tomorrow?

But as this kid questioned, an explosion erupted from the stove. It made him cringe from fear. As he looked over his mom’s shoulder, he saw just in time the horror of what was really going on.

In a quick second, everything around him was covered in fire. The walls, his toys, everything—they were on fire.

He didn’t know what to do. Pain suddenly just pricked his face, his whole being. Even his eyes felt like a thousand needles pierced them…

‘Mom!’ Yoochun yelled out loud. The heat scorched his surroundings. He looked everywhere and only saw fire, his mother’s back burning…her hair… ‘Mom! No!’ he cried. ‘You’re on fire! We have to put it out!’

Moving from underneath his mother, his body unscathed, he reached for his mother’s face only to see blood dripping down from her lips, her neck sliced and a tank beside her legs, burning them.

‘No! No! No!’ Yoochun yelled out loud repeatedly as he cried. Tears fell from his eyes which freaked him out the most. It scared him to death. His tears were crimson red. His eyes bled from the pain. ‘What’s wrong with me? Mom! Help me!’

Yoochun continued to scream for help. His knees shook. His chin quivered. He was just a child who couldn’t even do anything. And even now, his mother was in danger and he couldn’t even protect her. The images around him that he took in—the color of the fire began to turn grey—his vision blurring out.

But he was determined. He was determined to get out of that house to get help. And that’s what he did until his vision turned black, not being able to see.

He was almost there! At their front door! He only needed to find someone for help but what can he do now that he has lost his vision?

Feeling that cool breeze as he continued to run, not knowing where he was and where to go, he just ran in a straight path.

He cried. He ached. But still ran. However, the sound of a loud honking car made his feet froze on the spot. His knees felt jelly at that instant and so he fell. He must have ran outside and crossed the road without knowing.

Was he going to die?

Anticipating that hurt that he was going to feel, he just closed his eyes shut and waited for something to hit him. He was waiting, waiting and waiting. But he felt nothing. The only thing he heard was the sound of a car crashing so close to his own body—metal with concrete.

However, he was spared. Alive. He was still alive.

“That’s Junsu and his sister crashing wasn’t it?” Jaejoong again breathed in deeply. He figured as much.

“Right,” Yoochun replied quietly. “So it is technically my fault that they got into that accident. Now I feel like such a jerk treating him like this. I knew the Kim Junsu was the boy’s name but I didn’t really expect it to be him. I really automatically assumed it was a poor family like us since anyone who passes by that street are poor.”

“I see…” Jaejoong thought it over. From that point of view, it was definitely his fault. Yoochun was just there just in time to put the blame on him. “But here’s the thing Yoochun. Explain to me how Junsu who wasn’t supposed to remember anything say your name out loud over and over again unconsciously when he woke up?” Jaejoong questioned some more. “It really got Mr. Kim mad that day. So mad he started kicking everything around him. He was ing scary as hell…” Jaejoong said as his eyes opened wide from that memory.

“I don’t know. I never saw him again so I don’t know. But right after that incident—“

Yoochun screamed so loud it echoed to the sky. The sound of metal crashing to concrete, the crackling fire from the burning house, and his mother’s look replaying in his mind drove him crazy.

Nobody was there. This street was an isolated one anyways. Who would come there? Who would come and help him? Everyone abandoned them.

‘Help!’ A distinct voice yelled out. It was another kid like him judging from the sound of that stranger’s voice. He could tell. The kid was coming towards him as if he could also use his help. In a second, his hand was gripped and his body hugged by that other being beside him. This was supposed to scare him but it just gave him warmth. It was nice and it calmed him down.

Suddenly, that kid spoke again. ‘Please help me. My name is Kim Junsu and my sister is stuck in the car. The door is stuck closed and she’s stuck… I can’t get her out by myself. Help me!’

This kid wanted help from him? He probably thought that he could help him.

‘I-I-I… can’t,’ Yoochun replied still sobbing as he looked up to the direction where the voice came from. There were blood trails from his eyes that dried up from crying. ‘I can’t see…I’m blind…my mother is…dead…she’s burning inside…I wanted to get help but there’s no help coming… I can’t get help.’

He began to cry again.

With this sentence and also his uselessness, Yoochun expected the boy to leave him to save his sister but to his surprise, there was still that warm grip on his hand and also that hug from behind him. That Junsu kid started to talk to him again.

‘I would help your mom…as I would with my sister…but I also can’t move like you,’ the kid spoke to him. ‘I’m sorry. If only I didn’t feel dizzy like this…I can’t even walk straight. I have a feeling I knocked my head pretty badly.’ The little kid laughed gently. ‘Everything will be fine…I…hope…What’s your…name…?’ The voice sounded as though it was very tired and even fading.

‘Park Yoochun…’ Yoochun answered as he tried to feel the guy’s face. ‘My name is Park Yoochun…’

He retreated his hands to feel that gush of fluid everywhere on his dry fingers. This kid’s head was bleeding.

‘Park Yoochun…that’s a nice name…’ said the kid again. His voice was slowly disappearing fading into nothing.

‘Junsu?’ This time he started the conversation. ‘Are you alright?’

There was no response from the boy but only that warmth from his body disappearing from his back and that grip on his hand loosening.

Did he die?

Was he beside another dead body just like his mother?

‘Junsu…?’ he called out. But there was no answer. With him alone, right beside a dead body he didn’t even know on a street where one rarely passes, he started to hyperventilate. He was having a panic attack. Even though he opened and closed his eyes, there was no difference. Black everywhere—shadows everywhere—to his left, to his right…just everywhere he looked. Who would be there beside him now that his only friend and mother had left him?

With these scary and lonesome thoughts, he passed out.

“I woke up a week after being able to see again,” Yoochun continued on as he looked up at the roof of the car hoping his tears wouldn't fall out. He didn’t want Jaejoong to see him cry. “I found out that they used my mom’s cornea to replace my own.”

Jaejoong sighed. There were too many things going on at the same time and he didn’t like it. If he could act like a vacuum and all of these up, he would definitely do it. Unfortunately, he didn’t know what to say or how to react at this point. Should he apologize and say, ‘sorry about you and your mother’? He didn’t know at all. “You’re such a problematic child,” Jaejoong shook his head sideways. “Tell you what. We’ll go to Junsu’s apartment and have you wash you face at least. I have to go there to get his clothes but I don’t have time to bring you home.”

“What?” Yoochun questioned. “Why does Junsu need clothes when he has a house full of them? He’s rich enough.”

“Not Kim Junsu you dolt,” Jaejoong’s eyes widened in shock. “Xiah Junsu, my friend and your friend at school. Did you forget already?”

“Why does he not just wear any clothes that he wants to?” Yoochun questioned further. “He kind of sticks out with those clothes.”

“Are you trying to reverse our roles now?” Jaejoong joked just to cover up his nervousness.

“But is he okay now?” Yoochun questioned since that poor guy trembled in his arms after that incident at school a couple of days back.

“Well, he was still crying this morning, but I’m sure he’ll pull through. He’s not that much of a pushover even though he looks like it,” Jaejoong answered. “But to answer your question, he’s at his dad’s place right now. He phoned me yesterday if I could pick up his glasses and extra clothes and I agreed so I’m doing it,” Jaejoong wittily replied back. There was some lies in this but the fact that he’s running an errand is true. “He’s such a clutz you know? Out of all the things he could forget, he forgets the most important thing.” He laughed to cover up his nervousness because any conversations concerning Xiah Junsu always made him uneasy. Yoochun finding out that Xiah Junsu is Kim Junsu will probably be the best solution right now but he swore to Junsu with his life that he won’t tell. But however, at the back of his mind, there was that ominous feeling that today might be the day when Yoochun catches on with this masked charade they have played.

“Would it be okay for him if I just used his washroom? I mean you can just drop me home to my house,” Yoochun suggested.

“It’s almost school time Yoochun. I don’t want to drive back and forth. Junsu’s apartment is close to the school so you can walk there while I give him his things.”

“Alright. Sorry for causing you trouble every time. It’s not usually like this with me,” Yoochun laughed gently as if he was trying to get rid of that awkwardness he was feeling now.

“Don’t worry about it,” the raven haired man assured him as he parallel parked the car next to the sidewalk. Looking backwards this time and not at him to check the car behind them, he continued on with his supposed to be sarcastic comment. “I may look like a jerk face to you but I’m only like that at appropriate times.”

“You don’t hate me?” Yoochun asked him.

“Shouldn’t that be my question Park Yoochun? Don’t you hate me?” Jaejoong smirked as he now looked at him after finishing parking properly. “I’m rich like Kim Junsu! I’m more of an than him.”

Yoochun could only smile and shake his head sideways. He didn’t reply but instead just got out of the car.

Jaejoong then followed and went ahead to lead the way.

*********

“Be sure to hurry up,” Jaejoong gave him that motherly commanding voice as he opened Junsu’s apartment door. “I’ll go get you a towel so you can have something to wipe your face with.”

“Thanks,” Yoochun replied as he entered this simplistic apartment. He smiled at how clean and orderly it was.

So this is where Xiah Junsu lives he thought to himself as he entered the washroom that Jaejoong pointed to. But it didn’t even look like he came here a lot. The house looked like it was barely touched. It just gave out that feeling that there wasn’t even a life that lived here.

Turning on the tap, he looked at his face. He looked awfully like some kid who had just gotten a beating. His eye muscles were puffy and his dark circles were darker than usual. And his lips were looking a little bit pale as well.

He hasn’t been getting that much sleep lately because of all this mess. His past has now caught up with him no matter how fast he ran away from it. It still caught up with him. Maybe now is the time for him to face this nightmare.

“Done yet?” Jaejoong called out from the other side of the door.

“Just about!” he yelled out as he quickly soaked his face with that freezing water to wake him up. He opened up the door to tell the other man that he was done.

“Here,” Jaejoong handed him the towel.

“You’re in a really big hurry?” he asked as he wiped his face.

“No. I have all the time in the world to waste.”

“Sarcasm?”

“Uhuh.”

“Where do I put this?” Yoochun asked as he showed him the partially wet towel.

It made Jaejoong sigh. He really wanted to go back to Junsu right this moment. A depressed Junsu and a bastard father in a house together didn’t sound too good.

“Here, why don’t I take your towel,” he impatiently said, “while you,” he takes Junsu’s clothes and glasses and hands it to the blue eyed man, “hold these.”

“Alright,” Yoochun laughed soundlessly. The mood seemed a bit better now between them. “I’ll go ahead and meet you outside at your car.”

There was no reply. Instead, he just heard a Jaejoong swearing out words for knocking his foot at the bedside.

He shook his head once again but this time, not because of regret. There was still hope for this day to turn into a good one.

Reaching the door to exit out of a building, he suddenly drops Junsu’s pants as he tried to twist that knob to open the door.

He looked around just to check if Jaejoong saw. To his relief, no one was there.

But to be honest, he never really knew who Xiah Junsu was. That guy looked really suspicious but at the same time, really friendly and direct. Just thinking about that guy always made him smile for some reason even though they only knew each other for a short while.

Flashback:

“Okay! So!" Junsu breathed out. "This is just... I mean. Well. Rhetorically speaking, say...that there's this guy who likes Mr. X, but..." he kept on doing hand motions to convey the characters. "Mr. X doesn't know about his feelings and he has a boyfriend already. So then finding himself not being able to do anything, the guy feels that he's frustrated because every time he watches Mr. X doing all these lovey dovey things with his boyfriend, he wishes that he could do that with him too.”

"So the guy is jealous, basically of Mr. X's boyfriend,'" Yoochun summed up his point. "And?"

"The guy is frustrated because he wants to keep Mr. X all to himself," Junsu added on. "What do you think the guy should do then?"

"I think the guy should confess his feelings to Mr. X," Yoochun responded as he looked up at blue sky.

"Don't you think that'll be hard?" Junsu seriously asked the question. "I mean...rhetorically speaking of course!" 

End of Flashback

What a weirdo but definitely, a friendly weirdo.

“It’s still clean so I guess a rich man can still wear this,” Yoochun sighed in relief. But as he lifted those pants from the ground, a piece of folded paper fell from its pocket.

There was always that rule of ‘don’t touch other’s belongings and not to snoop through them’ but curiosity got the better of him so instead of putting the piece of paper back, he decided to see what it was. Besides, the paper looked like it was just ripped out from a notebook. It wouldn’t be that important. There might not be anything written there too.

Squatting, he placed the clothes on his knees and with two hands, unfolded the paper. There was only one line written messily but he could recognize these hand written letters.

“Changmin is close with Xiah Junsu?” Yoochun asked himself as he just glanced at the letters not reading the sentences yet. This was Changmin’s writing but why would Changmin write Junsu a note?

Now more interested, Yoochun read those words written on the paper.

Don’t lie to me. You’re Kim Junsu aren’t you? Why are you disguising yourself as this man named ‘Xiah Junsu’? 

For some reason, Yoochun heard glasses shattering inside his head. Xiah Junsu is… Kim Junsu? That hope for everything to turn out well for him just crashed.

His hands quivered, his patience snapped. In shock he dropped all the clothes as he stood up and the note just crumpled up and thrown to the side.

There was no ing way…no way in hell that this stupid note is true. Xiah Junsu. Kim Junsu… No. That’s not true!

But Changmin also wouldn’t say anything useless or even make a joke out of this! If Changmin said it then there has to be this hidden truth behind it.

That was all he could think of as he stood up in disbelief.

“Yoochun!” Jaejoong interrupted his thoughts. It was a loud yell. “You dropped the clothes!”

“Ah!” he yelled out with that confused tone in his voice. It sounded as if he just got back from Lala Land. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

“It’s alright,” Jaejoong sighed some more. “I’m pretty sure it’s not dirty. Here, just give it.”

Yoochun looking at those hands that Jaejoong stretched out, just stared blankly. “You…you…” There were so many things he wanted to ask. So many things he wanted to say but no words came out. He was just caught off guard by this stupid note.

“Yes. You need to give those clothes to me, and also you need to get going now so I can leave too,” Jaejoong just assumed as he grabbed the clothes from his hands. “Go get to school. You have a nice attendance rate so you better not start going late to classes. I hate to be the one that will cause that bad habit.”

With this, Jaejoong turned around and walked quickly to his car in a hurry.

“Wait!” Yoochun yelled out to him. “I…! Is…! Junsu…Is he…”

“What are you trying to say?” Jaejoong scrunched his brows together trying to make sense of those words Yoochun blurted out.

“I…question…Junsu…he’s…!” Yoochun nearly slapped himself for sounding so stupid. Out of the blue he just forgot to speak.

“Listen here buddy,” Jaejoong sighed, “try to put your words together before trying to talk to me. What you’re doing right now is my biggest pet peeve that I’d like to step and shoot at. Ask me at school okay? But for the meantime it looks like you need more time to form your words.”

Jaejoong smiled at him shaking his head and then waved goodbye before getting on his black Ferrari.

“But…” Yoochun said soundlessly in confusion.

“See you later,” the blond haired man suavely waved at him goodbye as he got on his car and drove off.

“Is Xiah Junsu really Kim Junsu?” Yoochun finally breathed out the words he wanted to say and ask. His mind searched for clues. How were the two the same? How were the two different? They were definitely poles apart from each other like night and day. But however—

Both of them said the same thing to him. Was that the common thing?

If Xiah Junsu was really Kim Junsu, what would make sense? What could he explain? His brain told him it shouldn’t be true but his heart and his gut told him it was true.

And that note that Changmin wrote was definitely not a prank. He never plays pranks on people and that was the definite truth Yoochun knew.

Suddenly, those events that occurred hit him. Did he figure it out? Was that it? Did Junsu just use a cover up?

“Jaejoong was the decoy you used, huh, Kim Junsu?” Yoochun smiled in disbelief. “If you’re Kim Junsu then you must have used Jaejoong to rescue me behind the scenes. Was that it? That’s definitely it right Junsu?” he continued to talk to himself. And then in second’s time, that disbelief turned into anger. It was anger for himself and again, like a kid, his uselessness and gullibility. “Kim Junsu, you can outsmart me in many ways but I’m not the person to be fooled with!” He yelled to the sky. “I hate you for tricking me like this!” He got a fistful of grass and just pulled a handful one after the other. “I hate you. I hate you! I hate you! If you only said something—I wouldn’t have said those things to you last night! Was that what you were trying to tell me last night?” he continued to speak in frustration. “That I’d treat you normally if you weren’t Kim Junsu? Was that it?”

He screamed.

Why do you do this especially for someone stupid and worthless like me?

Flashback:

‘I know this is going to sound...funny but...’ Junsu tried hard not to stutter as he grabbed Yoochun's hands and squeezed on it tight. ‘Yoochun…’ His lips quivered. ‘I like you! I fell in love with you!’

End of Flashback

Xiah Junsu told him he loved him but also did Kim Junsu…

Flashback

‘Tell me Yoochun! Is this why you love him? And even so, can’t you see my reasons? The words behind my ‘I love you’ has everything—everything of my life at stake.’ 

End of Flashback

That almighty man also cried because… he really loved him.

Was this the reason? For love, Junsu went through all that to keep him safe?

“These lies! Of course Kim Junsu wouldn't do that!” Yoochun yelled out. All the frustrations, his confusion, and his regret, all poured out on these words. “You made all this effort just to make me love you?” His voice died down to a mere whisper. “How foolish can you be? I’m worthless and here you are, worth every penny in this country. Just because you love me doesn’t give you the right to be this foolish…!” Tears fell from his eyes. “You can’t love me! I took away everything from you…”

If Xiah Junsu was Kim Junsu, what would he be able to explain?

Of course, if they were the same person, everything would make sense. How he escaped from that ion, how Yunho survived from that chase, and how Kim Junsu even knew him in the first place. If both of them are one, then definitely things would be well explained. Kim Jaejoong connects them both. He should have known. He should have realized this sooner!

But realizing that wouldn’t even change a thing! Knowing all these things wouldn’t change the horrible things he did to him. As Xiah Junsu, he treated him normally but as Kim Junsu, he just loathed the man even though he didn’t do anything that was enough to be hated for. Just because he hated his father, it wasn’t fair that he didn’t even give Kim Junsu a chance so that he could get to know him as a normal person.

This situation just made him an ungrateful bastard but it was their fault for leaving him in the dark, making him confused all the time. How was he supposed to act? Why did they have to keep this a secret from him?

But wasn’t it also his fault for not even giving anything a chance so that he could see past the lies?

“Junsu you moron!” Yoochun screamed out from the top of his lungs as he cried, voice cracking from its loudness. “I hate you! You should have just told me! I’m always ing stupid when it comes to these things!” He continued to cry. “Loving me will only make you suffer even more…”


***********


The bell was about to ring and still, there was no sign of Park Yoochun. It worried him for Kim Junsu was there but there was no Park Yoochun. Shouldn’t they be together? And where was Jaejoong?

And where was Yoochun? It was unlikely for him to be late.

Yunho sighed as he got up his seat. He looked around for some people around this class but a lot of them were missing. Seulgi definitely wouldn’t show her face in school for a while. She’s probably too embarrassed from what she did, but she deserved that. Choi Siwon hasn’t been to classes either. And…Jaejoong wasn’t there either. Today he wanted to give him a piece of his mind for haunting his dreams last night.

That bastard.

“Hey Junsu!” Yunho called out as he stepped closer to the quiet man. “Do you—“

“What?” the thick glasses man said with a murderous intent in his voice. There was a complete sign on his face that told him quickly to not disturb.

It made Yunho stop dead on his tracks.

But he shouldn’t be scared as long as it’s not Jaejoong right? That dream…That scarred him for life!

Every time he remembered scenes from THAT this morning, he had to go to the washroom and do some manly business. He groaned at his erted mind. He just couldn’t help it.

Walking closer, not much intimidated by Junsu, he sat on Yoochun’s seat beside him.

“Do you know where Yoochun is?” Yunho asked him.

“Yoochun huh?” the man groggily replied as if the sound of his friend’s name was a punch to his face. “Don’t know.”

“You know it’s not like Yoochun to come to class late,” Yunho got a bit pissed off at the answer. “I put him in your care and you just—“

“Who did you put in his care?” Yoochun said as he hooked an arm on Yunho’s right shoulder and the other on Junsu’s left. He smiled at him gently. “Stop teasing Junsu.”

“Oh!” Yunho laughed as he tried to cover what he said up. He could feel a deathly stare bursting out from those glasses of Junsu’s. “I got a cat yesterday!” he laughed some more. “That’s right! And I gave it to Junsu to take care of for a bit!”

“Oh,” Yoochun rolled his eyes. He has been to both of these Junsu’s houses and there was no sign of a cat anywhere. So of course, that was a lie too. He knew it and it just made him want to punch his friend. Not only was Jaejoong part of this but also Yunho? They all lied to him.

Not wanting to hear anymore, he ignored Yunho’s explanation and paid attention to Junsu who didn’t even move from his touch. Feeling that he caught Junsu’s gaze, he just stared. It never did get awkward because Yoochun was taking his time examining every facial features of him. This guy was definitely Kim Junsu in disguise. How could he not realize?

That damn jerk.

“Hey Junsu, I was thinking this morning, I want to try on your glasses.” And with this, he grabbed the side frame of the quiet man’s glasses but didn’t pull them yet.

It made the man sitting in front of him stiff like ice as if he got really scared and desperate.

It made him scoff on the inside. His stiffness definitely proves that he is Kim Junsu.

That sneaky no good of a liar man. Jaejoong too.

Once he made a move on Junsu’s glasses he stood up, even his so called friend Yunho had his jaw hitting the ground.

“Yoochun!” Yunho called out from behind him. “Just try on mine!” And in a second, he had a pair of glasses on his hand from his bag across the room.

“It’s alright…” Yoochun feigned ignorance. His left hand was still on Junsu’s glasses frame. “I only want to see Junsu’s.”

Junsu stiffened more under that touch as his glasses came off centimeter by centimeter from his face.

“Why?” Yunho burst out a quick question.

“It’s weird,” Yoochun said. “Didn’t you want to try it also?”

“No…” Yunho waved his hand back and forth in panic. Well he did but of course not now.

“Wait!” Junsu yelled out pushing his glasses back as he grabbed Yoochun’s hand. “You’re acting pushy and strange today. What’s your problem?”

Again! It was that nostalgic feeling again. From those familiar hands, he felt that same feeling. At first he didn’t know where, but now he knew. Now he knew where this touch came from. It was that protecting hand that made him feel secure even though he thought that he lost it all in that fire. It was the same feeling that boy gave him while he was blind to see anything. This touch was calming. It was as if all his nerves stopped boiling all together.

“Did I say you can take out these glasses? Don’t just simply touch other’s things okay?” Junsu continued to speak, his voice filled with annoyance.

That reaction shocked Yoochun. He was only planning to but this guy actually freaked out just because he didn’t want him to see his disguise.

“If you’re curious to what I look like, let me tell you that you won’t like looking at my face. Just the sight of me will disgust you. I look hideous enough that swearing at me would be a normal thing to do,” the man added on. “So if you’re just doing it for your own pleasure, don’t take off my glasses.”

And just like a mask, Yoochun hid his true face, his feelings of anger towards these two and even Jaejoong.

He let go of those glasses smiling gently. “Sorry Junsu,” he apologized as he patted his shoulder softly. That sorry was for every stupid things he has done to him and it was a sorry that should be heard.

“Yoochun,” Yunho said as his nerves quieted down. “Why were you late?”

“I came with Changmin,” he simply said. “I’m not late.”

“You what?” Yunho freaked out. He could definitely sense Junsu’s depression getting worse. Stupid Yoochun! This guy was ready to sacrifice his whole world for him and here he was just stomping on Junsu’s feelings by always mentioning that no good of a bastard Changmin’s name.

“Good morning Yunho,” Changmin said out loud as he entered the class. “G’morning Xiah Junsu,” he added on emphasizing his name.

“It’s too noisy,” Junsu said with his face flat on the desk. All he wanted was a quiet morning with no one talking to him especially Yoochun. But that was also ruined. “I’m going out,” he continued on with that annoyed voice.

“Wait, Junsu,” Yoochun now sincerely called out his name. It shocked Changmin because of that sudden act that rarely occured. “I want to show you something after school, tell me you’ll come.” If Junsu needed to regain his memories, then that place should be the best to go to.

“I’m busy,” Junsu replied still with his back to Yoochun.

“With what?” Yoochun asked him.

“Paperwork.”

“Wait. What for?” Yoochun continued to question. He knew Junsu never wanted to talk to him again but was he really that serious? If he loved him like the way he said last night, how could he easily just let him go? Did he misunderstand?

“Listen Yoochun, I’m tired of living here so today is my last day that I’m going to see all of you. I’m moving back to Paris.”

“You’re…serious?” Yoochun whispered out loud as his blue eyes narrowed in shock. He lost strength in his hands that held on to Junsu’s own.

And in that moment, the man he clung to began to walk out of his life.

Not even Changmin nor Yunho could stop the walking Xiah Junsu. What could they say to not reveal their secret charade to Yoochun?

“Wait…” Yoochun breathed out as he looked at the ground. He knew that once he loses sight of Junsu, all of this would definitely be over. And so with all his mental strength, he pushed back his chair and stood up. He chased after him. And for the first time in these past 10 years, the image and name of Changmin didn’t even cross his mind. His mind was dead set on Kim Junsu.

“Wait!” Yoochun ran, catching everyone’s attention. Everyone’s prince was yelling and chasing after someone so of course all of them noticed. “Junsu wait!” He boomed in a loud voice. He chased the man who never turned back until he took hold of his hand. “I said wait! Junsu—”

“What do you want from me?” Junsu calmly told him turning around. His voice was full of nothingness as if they were just complete total strangers. It made Yoochun want to cry at that spot but he held his emotions together. At least, before this man disappears, those favors that he owed him should be repaid. And if going back to that place was the only thing he could help him with, then he’ll take him there even if he doesn’t remember a single thing. If he himself needed to face his past once again just so that he can help out just a little bit, then for this man who did so many things to protect him, he was willing to do so.

“Then before you go, at least spare an hour with me after classes today. I want to show you something important.”

“How important is it?” Junsu asked him.

“Very important,” Yoochun replied on the verge of tears as he looked on the ground. But looking up to the man, he knew if he cried, Junsu will definitely find out that he knew the secret he was hiding. If he did, any connection that he still had left with this man would be lost. His relationship with Kim Junsu was over after all. And so, as he raised his head, he forced his lips to curve into a smile and those eyes that he mourned over did gracefully well and also smiled. With that flawless face and lie, Yoochun had the courage to speak. “So just come okay?” He was going to tell Junsu about the past. It was his resolve. If he ends up hating him for being the cause of the death of his sister, then at least he doesn't have to lie anymore.

“I see,” Junsu smiled back at him. This smile though, couldn’t lie to Yoochun. It was a smile filled with pain from seeing his face and it saddened him now that he knew and also looked for the first time at the man who wanted to love him.

“Do you hate me Junsu?” Yoochun asked with that well composed face. His regret was hidden by his carefree voice that he used.

At that instant, Junsu turned around. And once again, his back faced Yoochun. He began to walk. “Of…of course not! What’s there to hate about you?” he replied. And with a clear conscience and truthfulness, he added on, “You’re the most special friend I ever had.”

So now he was just a friend.

He definite deserved that though.

Yoochun’s smile disappeared as he heard those words. The things that Junsu just told him now sounded earnest. But was that another lie? Was Junsu lying to him?

In fact, even he didn’t know.

The moment he realized that he was in a world surrounded by lies was the moment he started to not have faith and trust in what others told him. He wasn’t even worthy to protect and here came Junsu who just busted in his life like a knight in shining armor. This was unreal and definitely, there were no fairy tales in reality. His reality won’t have knights. Not now, and not even in the future.

Maybe Junsu was just having that phase where he could just fall in love with anyone. Maybe it was just like that. Maybe he was the only one making a big deal out of it.

“I’ll see you at the gates after classes,” Junsu began to talk again. “I want to see this important treasure of yours.”

***********

“Prepare one plane ticket for a one way ride to Paris set for tomorrow no later than eight in the morning,” Mr. Kim ordered Jaejoong.

“I have to go to classes now Mr. Kim. But I’ll book it by the end of the day,” Jaejoong replied obediently.

“You don’t have time for classes today Jaejoong,” the old man replied. “I need you to help with the annual party preparations and that ticket booking is first priority.”

“Alright. But may I ask a question?” the blonde haired man spoke in curiosity.

“This is a rhetorical question right? If it is, the answer will always be yes,” Mr. Kim laughed amused by Jaejoong.

“I’m dead serious about this question,” Jaejoong hissed as his mood began to change. Nothing was funny about this situation. “Is this ticket—“

His question was answered before he could finish it.

“This is for my son,” Mr. Kim replied, “This ticket is the ticket for business to keep thriving—to keep my son from useless feelings that the world keeps on offering. I need to keep him as a robot and not a human being. He's regaining his heart here in this city and it's not doing this business any good.”

“What son?” Jaejoong managed to say out loud as he gritted his teeth. “What you actually mean is ‘your property’, right?”

Another heartily laugh was heard. “You’re pretty brave today Kim Jaejoong. What spiteful tongue you have for an assistant!” Mr. Kim smirked with confidence. “To be my son is to be my property. What’s the difference?”

“Endless,” Jaejoong answered with a steady tone of voice. No matter how many times he wanted to give this man a punch, there was no way he would be able to. He still needed to live longer until both he and Kim Junsu would be able to stand up on their own two feet even if a big tornado hit the both of them. That’s how strong they needed to be for this man Junsu calls father was definitely like a tornado. “But of course, a heartless man like you would not understand this so don’t worry about it.”

“Then if you say so,” Mr. Kim taunted. This reply definitely poked at Jaejoong’s remaining patience.

“Does he know about this?”

“Of course,” he answered so easily. “I had a chat with him when you left with that good for nothing e, Park Yoochun.

“And he agreed?” Jaejoong quickly asked.

“Of course,” the old man answered again. “He wouldn’t defy me. I’m his God!”

“His God huh? Well then, that’s all for today,” Jaejoong concluded as bowed to exit. “I need to get started on these tasks.”

“But wait,” Mr. Kim called out to him before he could step out of those doors of his room. “I didn’t dismiss you yet.”

“Do you still have anything to say, Mr. Kim?” Jaejoong asked. “Rhetorically speaking of course.”

“If you see that ‘property’ of mine, pass this message on,” the old man spoke as pulled out a gun from his desk. “Tell him that the next time he speaks the name of Park Yoochun or his next defiance of my words, it would be the day he will die by this gun.” He finished off his sentence aiming that same gun he took out at Jaejoong’s head. “I’ll shoot him myself if I have to.”

And in a flash, that little confidence that Jaejoong had was crushed by those murderous eyes. This man was capable of shooting him and he knew it.

“Bang!” Mr. Kim yelled out and then laughed and laughed. “And that’s it my precious assistant. You’re dismissed.”

And as calm as he could walk out of that room, Jaejoong forced his legs to move. Those eyes as the gun was pointed at him were deathly frightening not even comparing to probably what hell looked like. The moment he was captured by that gaze was the moment he almost pissed his pants.

Thank God he didn’t.

He still needed his composure for all the things happening tonight. A lot of problems and even truths that are hidden will definitely surface. Even now, ever since six this morning, money from their bank has started to leak out one thousand dollars at a time for every thirty seconds that ticked. It was bad news to the enterprise. This will be a definite loss in profit but hopefully it won’t continue till tomorrow. Everything will end tonight and hopefully the ending is to his liking.

They needed to crack this man called Se7en. He’s betting all his luck on this weak spot on the attack that might happen tonight. If Junsu tells him that this predicament has eight percent chance of happening, then it’ll be miraculous for this attack not to occur.

This hacker that goes by the name Se7en will be the target to break tonight and they definitely have the advantage for Changmin has agreed on this secret plan made by both him and Kim Junsu. This is to only reveal the truth. And definitely, once everything is out, Junsu has something to put an end to the attack.

Of course, it’ll be hard for Changmin the most but this plan is crucial in order to put a stop to everything else. Hopefully this deduction is right.

Tonight will be tough but no one can stop time from running. Tonight will come at them whether they were ready for it or not.

Although he has information to predict what may happen, there will always be unexpected things that always get in the way. Only God knows all and he is definitely no God. He is, in fact, only a small human being trying to accomplish a big thing.

Tonight is definitely the night for the biggest party of the year.

***************************

Yoochun expected the day to pass him slowly but he was wrong. He was scared to go back to that place. Too frightened to go back to that home him, his father and his mother once lived happily in. That place was definitely burnt down but because of the order from these “higher ups”, no one dared to touch the house, not even step on the land or the street. Everyone was evacuated the next day and the government just gave money for the families to start over. At first he didn’t know what or why everyone left the next day but now, as he grew up, he started to understand.

Just for the sake of reputation, all of this was hidden. Just for the sake of this pride of the Kim’s, he was cast aside with that huge hospital debt when he was just ten years old. He definitely owes Changmin one. If he hadn’t met him in the hospital, he would be sleeping on the streets now trying to make enough money just to get by day by day. That was definitely the first time he felt loved ever since his mother died. Changmin loved him and that’s all he knew.

But of course all this time that burnt down home remained unchanged as if it was just stuck in time—not able to move on.

If Junsu only has a temporary memory loss then certain environments from the past may
be able to trigger those things he can’t remember. And so if the only thing that links them together would be this house, showing him that place might knock in those important memories he’s missing.

So he can’t chicken out now just because of his useless feelings. Junsu was able to place everything in the line to fight for this love he told him, so even Park Yoochun can accomplish a small thing like this. Hopefully this small thing that he can do can go a long way.

This type of change in routine might be good for him too.

************

Park Yoochun waited at the gates of the school. Maybe he should have picked up Junsu on the way here. Even after that clothing incident in the gym lockers, that Kim Junsu actually cried. Who knew it only took a blind fold to make a God cry?

Thinking about that incident made him worry some more. This morning, everything did calm down, thank goodness for weekends. But there were still those stares and that unwanted attention that Junsu himself kept on attracting. It wasn’t the greatest feeling a guy should have.

Where was he anyways?

“Yoochun,” a voice called out from ten meters away from him.

That voice was definitely Junsu’s. Just the sound of it made him feel a million times better.

“Hey you,” Yoochun greeted gently with a smile as the man in front of him now only just stood a meter away. He knew it was very insensitive for him to be even talking to him like this even after last night but their relationship was going to end. He at least needed to do something good to benefit this guy. And this is the only way he knew how. “Are you feeling better?”

“Not a bit,” Junsu again with that toneless voice answered out loud, “just got worse now.”

“Well, since it’s our last day together even if we only met each other for a short while, I’ll talk today instead of you,” Yoochun again with that fake mask, told him. “I’m not usually the guy that talks outside so I’ll change that for just today. Remember when we first met? I rarely talked. But for some reason, ever since you came, I gained a bit of confidence at my voice.
”
“Why are you doing this? Did Jaejoong tell you to do this or something?” Junsu interrogated him out of curiosity.

Yoochun could only laugh. This guy was always sharp and on his toes. “No, of course not. If Jaejoong told me to show this place to you, I wouldn’t go even if he asked a million times. I don’t even know why he’d ask me to show this to you.”

“Isn’t this place valuable to you? Why do you not want to go to it if it’s that important?”

“This place is actually my home,” Yoochun confessed as they walked down the streets. “Well at least what’s left of it. It burnt down when I was little so there are only probably little things there. I don’t know if you heard this but do you know that street the government shut down ten years ago? It was really all because of my house burning down. Kind of weird right? Closing off a street just because of that.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Junsu asked him. It has been bugging him that this situation came out of nowhere and Park Yoochun was also not the type to be open about these things.

“Well, I don’t really know but maybe you’ll figure out an answer after,” Yoochun again replied flawlessly covering up his true intentions. “Just give me a chance.”

“And that street,” Junsu added on, “I know about that. My father told me to never go to that area since it’s too dangerous. I have my doubtsn”

“Dangerous huh?” Yoochun scoffed as he walked on ahead at the end of the block. “Well, you see here,” he showed Junsu the street that led to his home, “it does say do not cross, but if it’s dangerous, there would be guards here. I don’t see any so definitely, it’s not dangerous. We’ll be fine. But I can’t really guarantee that since it’s my first time in ten years coming back here but just put a little trust in me okay?”

Both of them continued to walk down that road and as they did, Yoochun’s grief started to rise even more. Everything did look the same. All these places, he could see him and his mother at every nook of this street.

And finally, under that big lamp post was his own house. The fence and that brick wall entrance was laid untouched by the fire and his only reaction was to touch it. Even that car that crashed to the lamppost right beside their house was still there, but this time, rusty and dirty. It brought a painful smile to his face as he looked at this home for the very first time in ten years. He placed his palms and his face on top of that entrance as if doing so will bring happiness to his heart. Right now, he could only feel grief and regret.

“Yoochun,” Junsu called out as he looked around. This place almost seemed too familiar as he examined more carefully. He needed to be careful. He didn’t know why but he started to feel faint for some reason and his head started to hurt. It was like that time he read Yoochun’s files. That wasn’t the most pleasant feeling ever too. “This was your home?” he finally asked.

“Yeah, this is where I lived,” Yoochun smiled at the man behind him. “Me, my father and my mom,” he paused to keep his voice together, “we were once that happy family.”

“And you lived in this?” Junsu again kept on asking and asking as if he couldn’t believe it. Most of the house was burnt down but really it wouldn’t take much to burn down a very small house like this. Compared to the ones in this street, this house was definitely the smallest and probably the most unsafe buildings here. No wonder Yoochun didn’t want to go back here.

But why would he come here just to tell him this story? Was it just for the sake of him being his friend? Or was there something more?

“Well, yeah,” Yoochun finally just sat down right in front of the entrance. He couldn’t come any closer to this home he talked about and Junsu did the same. It was probably safe for him to sit down anyways. “It was definitely home to me. But after that accident, I lost both of my parents. You see, my father was rich too, but he gambled a lot so he lost all the money. Then when things go tough he wanted to kill both me and my mother for insurance.”

“Just because of that huh?” Junsu breathed out loud.

“It feels like this house never changed at all,” Yoochun forced a smile on his face when he looked up at this burnt house. He did manage to but a tear escaped from his eyes. “You see there?” he pointed to the opened door as he wiped the tear that escaped his eyes one by one. “By the time I got out of the house, I was half blind already. I ran from the back of the house where the kitchen was, out that front door and by the time I reached this entrance here, I was completely blind. Couldn’t see anything, not even the tiniest light.”

“You were scared weren’t you?” Junsu said as he tried to picture that small kid running through those doors. “It’s good that you can see now then.”

“Well, it was all because of this super rich family that got involved in this accident too.” Yoochun laughed as he wiped his tears. “Sorry, I can’t seem to stop crying.” He continued to laugh it off but still continued to talk. “But as lucky as I was, for both the families I was the bad luck. Because when I ran through this very street, the car that was passing by here crashed since the driver was caught off guard and tried to avoid me. The driver bled to death but the passenger who was a kid just knocked his head. Right now, I think he’s still suffering from temporary memory loss.”

Yoochun looked at Junsu just to see if there was any reaction but the only thing he saw was this tough guy sitting like a ball, his face right on his knees and hands at his head.

“Junsu?” Yoochun called out. He really didn’t notice that Junsu was actually in pain. “You listening?”

“I’m listening,” Junsu looked up at him and smiled but his face paled every second that he listened to this story. His head started to hurt a lot more and his vision getting blurrier by the minute. “Weren’t you scared then?” he asked again. “You were alone from there weren’t you?”

“You see that car over there?” Yoochun pointed to the black Audi with the left hand side completely torn from the crash to that wall and then the lamppost. “Like I said, there was this kid that banged his head. He saw me in front of his car but poor him, I yelled at the guy since I was really scared. He asked for my help but really, I couldn’t do anything. I was crying blood as my tears!”

“You don’t need to act tough about this,” Junsu interrupted Junsu from talking. “You’re shaking.”

“Let me finish the story Junsu,” Yoochun looked down still holding onto that smile as tears fell from his eyes. “Let me finish before I break down.”

“Suit yourself,” Junsu once again just placed his head right on his knees. For once, he wanted to crack open his skull from that squeezing pain that he felt coming from the inside. He really didn’t know what was causing it but he was mentally dying on the inside. The more he heard about this story, the more he felt like he could relate to it because something similar happened to him. He really didn’t know what this similar thing was and why he felt like he could relate to it but that was just his brain acting up.

“The kid…” Yoochun continued on as he looked at the scene and not at Junsu’s condition. “The kid asked me for help to get his sister out but as a blind person I just sat there crying. I told him I couldn’t do it. I told him I needed to find someone to rescue my mom since she was burning. I told him all my problems, and I expected him to leave but just like this, where we sit now, that kid held my hand and he hugged me from behind.”

“Stupid kid,” Junsu replied, still maintaining that position he was at. “He should have saved his sister.”

“Maybe he knew how bad the situation was. Maybe that kid knew no matter what, he had to live on for the both of them. Maybe it was like that,” Yoochun spoke as if he knew and had experience. “He spoke to me and we chatted for a while. I even got to know his name too. But as soon as I introduced myself, everything just got quiet. I thought he died and then out after that.”

“So in the end, you couldn’t save your mother…” Junsu wobbly stood up, his hand automatically shooting right at his forehead. It felt like he was having a brain overflow or something but he was too pained to know what he was learning. “And the kid couldn’t save his sister? So… who’s the… stupid kid?” he asked between his breaths. He could really feel his consciousness definitely slipping away.

“All of the people in this country either hate him or love him,” Yoochun replied still sitting down not even paying attention to what’s happening to the guy beside him. “You probably know him very well too. His name was Junsu like yours. But instead people call him Kim Junsu. Just that thought of that is scary too right? I mean he’s the richest guy in this country!”

“What?” Junsu breathed out his last conscious breath of that day. It was him? So this was the accident…? What? The girl who died…that was his sister? The stupid kid was him...? “And Park Yoochun…” he managed to say out loud with all those running voices and scenes flowing inside his head.

Yoochun’s head shot up to where that faint voice came from. He finally noticed the pale Junsu. “Wait. Junsu?” he asked. “Junsu?”

There was no reply. He could only see this guy beside him dripping in cold sweat and pale lips. It was like that time where he came back to Kim Junsu’s house after classes only to find him passed out at the entrance!

“Junsu are you okay? Are you sick?” Yoochun finally just sprang to his foot to check on the guy. But as soon he got back up to his feet, Junsu fell down.

This guy was knocked out cold with only the bitter hard concrete to catch his body. “Junsu! You should have told me you were sick or something! Junsu! Wake up! Stay with me…”

“Park Yoochun,” Junsu forced a smile as his eyes fluttered open and closed. “I see…I get it,” he managed to say before he lost consciousness.

“Oh no. Junsu! Junsu! Open your goddamn eyes!” Yoochun yelled out loud. How was he supposed to explain this to the hospital when they find out he’s Kim Junsu?

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