Chapter 23 Forever
Lovefool
~And so the Knight leads the King back to the Queen. He remains loyal to his King, sacrifices his heart and protects the Queen once again.~
Jongin stares at me with intense eyes. I try to remember how to breathe. His messy hair and beautiful chocolate brown eyes send shockwaves through me once again.
“Surely there a normal guys, outside our circle, that are gorgeous and kind and intelligent and has the potential to be our absolute boyfriend, right? Someone with light mocha skin, dark hair, full lips, a lean body with chiseled arms and abs and, and…and someone who can dance, really well, like Rain, or like that kid from SHINee, except not as young, and did I mention he should be tall and fit? Someone like…”
“Pizza is here!” Tiffany yells. I turn around and I am staring at the incarnation of my very fantasy. My absolute boyfriend.
“Someone like him!" He lifts his head up and I see his dark eyelashes and refined jawline and full lips and sun-kissed skin. “Oh my gosh, he exists!”
“I want my money, for the pizza,” His voice is deep, a little husky even.
“So I’m sure you are going to go to your little boyfriends and talk about three crazy middle aged women who are actually only 23 years old, just so you know, and you’ll tell them these girls were drunk and out of their minds trying to get their flirt on with a high school delivery boy because we have nothing better to do on a late Friday night besides drinking and fantasizing of your lips and tan skin and obviously fit abs under that black oversized hoodie of yours that’s falling a bit exposing your attractive shoulders...”
“My “little boyfriends” would love to hear about this. Maybe next time you three can invite us over so you can practice your “flirt on” with 20 year olds and not spend your Friday nights drinking and fantasizing about my lips and tan skin and yes, my abs are firm, and if you let me I’ll even show you how many packs I have under this oversized black hoodie that purposely slides off my shoulders just so I can get hit on by gorgeous drunk 23 year olds when I deliver their pizza, and by the way, I dance way better than Taemin.” He gives me a half-smile, a very intimidating half-smile. The corner of his lips lower back to a scowl and I can’t help but bite my lips while staring at his full pink ones. He remains thisclose to me. And I fall into a hypnotic state.
Kai speaks first, "I used to think that love was something you felt only at first sight. I didn't think you could drown in it, slowly. If love had a time limit, I want my love to last ten thousand years. No, that's not what I want. I don't ever want the years to end. I want infinity. I want forever. Until the day I die, will you love me? Until the day I die, I will love only you."
"I am sorry. I was a coward. I was afraid you'd leave me. That you would stop loving me. I made myself believe that you should remain in my fantasy. There my heart would be safe. But as soon as you were gone both my fantasy and reality composed of you and only you. I never went a day without thinking about the impact of those moments together and I regretted letting you go. I thought I'd be safe keeping you in my fantasies, but in my reality it hurt so much when you weren't with me. I love you. I do love you. No matter how hard I try not to love you, no matter how hard I try to erase you and keep you in my fantasies….my efforts were fruitless to the extent that I got numb by it."
“Love paralyzes your reasoning, clouds your judgment, and makes you endure everything. I can give you everything. I can give you forever if you only let your guard down and allow me to sweep you off your feet. But you have to say it, out loud. Tell me what you want from me.”
"Forever."
"Instead of running away, stay with me and let me love you forever."
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