Jiyong felt frustrated with himself. Right after he forced his father to discharge him out, he went to look for Dara. But it was like looking for a needle in a town of haystack. He felt like moving in circles – getting nowhere. He was so sure he’ll find her. He was so sure his instincts would lead him to her that somehow, his heart will find her. But that weren’t the case. And the Parks weren’t helping at all. They already gave up on her. They even held a funeral at the seaside where the yacht exploded, throwing white flowers to the water. He wanted to punch them all in the faces, he wanted to strangle them, and he wanted to KILL them. How could they give up that easily? How could they possibly think Dara’s gone already? If she did pass away, then why was he still alive? If she was dead, he should be dead, too. Why would he continue living when the purpose of his existence’s gone already? But he was still alive, that meant his wife’s alive too. Him, being alive only meant that he still needs to protect Dara. In order to protect her, she should be alive.

 

The thought of her being alive was the only thing that’s making him live through with everyday. If not for that, he wasn’t sure which direction he’d take. So the way the Parks accepted Sandara’s death angered him. He wanted to hurt them so badly but his father told him not to waste time on them. The old man said he should just channel his energy and strength on searching for Dara.

 

Of course, the event was very much televised and publicized. There were so many telltales, blah blahs and stories that are either true or false. Different opinions and angles keep surfacing up.

 

“Jiyong, she’s dead,” Yuna said. She has been a constant visitor of his in the little house family he and Dara lives in. “Let it go already.”

 

“Shut the up!” he hissed.

 

“Come on, stop the guilt trip already. It’s not your fault she’s dead. Maybe it was just her time.”

 

Jiyong’s vision darkened. He pushed Yuna against the wall and encircled his hand around her neck. “Say something like that again and I’ll break your pretty little neck!”

 

“What’s wrong with you?” she demanded. “Why are you so affected with her death? She doesn’t even matter to you!”

 

“She doesn’t matter to me?” he blankly asked. “Who the hell gave you that idea? She means EVERYTHING to me! And she’s not dead, you heard that? She’s not dead!”

 

“She is dead, Jiyong! When will you accept that?”

 

“NO!” he roared. “If she’s dead, I should be dead too! But as you can see, I’m still alive. That means she’s still alive!”

 

“Stop this already!” she breathed. “You already achieved your purpose of making me jealous. I’m coming back to you now. That’s what you want, right? You want me back-”

 

“”No. . .” he said, shaking his head. “You don’t get it, do you? I love Sandara Park. I love MY WIFE. My feelings for you are long gone.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

Jiyong slowly backed away from her. “It IS the truth, Yuna. It’s long over between us.”

 

“Jiyong. . . .” she whispered. “Don’t do this. I’ll do anything it takes for you to take me back.”

 

He would have been moved with those tears before but he didn’t feel anything close to that anymore. “I’m sorry, Yuna.”

 

In that instant, the look on her face changed. She was sneering at him now. “You’ll regret this!”

 

With that, she walked away.

 

 

Days passed. He was slowly up to the brink of his sanity. Everyone around him kept on telling him to give up. Once or twice, he actually thought of giving up. He was getting tired of everything – physically, emotionally and psychologically. But the thing was, he CANNOT stop. If he stopped looking for her, it can be compared with not breathing at all. The only support he had right now was his father. He wanted to keep calm and collected in front of the old man but he kept on falling to his knees anyways.

 

The press people were getting nastier and nastier everyday. And now, his past photos with Yuna surfaced up. A lot of people asked for his side but he kept mum about it. However, his silence was misinterpreted. They were now speculating that he was still in a relationship with Kim Yuna. She gave an interview once. She confirmed that they did have a relationship and that she broke up with him. She said he was too devastated with it that he planned on extracting revenge by making her jealous. And so, his marriage with Sandara Park happened. He almost smashed the flat screen into pieces after that interview. But still, he chose to keep his silence. As if everything wasn’t enough, two officers came in to see him and invited him to their office for a few questions.

 

“What?” he exhaled harshly. “You’re accusing me of blowing my own yacht when I’m fully aware that’s my wife in there?! Are you out of your mind?!?”

 

“We’re simply asking questions,” the officer said.

 

“I know what this is all about!” Jiyong chuckled bitterly. “You held on to every word Kim Yuna said. Well let me tell you this, I LOVE MY WIFE! If there’s someone you should be questioning right now, that’s Kim Yuna or the Parks!”

 

“Are you saying that Kim Yuna lied? That you didn’t have a relationship with her?”

 

Silence.

 

“Damn!” Jiyong hissed. He sighed and pulled his hair in frustration. “Fine! That part of the story is true but the latter parts were lies!”

 

There was only one word to describe what happened after that: chaos. Everything was too messed up that Jiyong couldn’t get a grip on how fast things were going. He doesn’t know how the media winded up on it but everyone’s having a field day of him being investigated and tried on court. They even said that maybe he sabotaged his own yacht so he could escape his marriage with Sandara Park. His temper wasn’t really on his side at the moment for he kept on exploding from anger and irritation. He wanted to keep on searching for Dara but at the turn of events lately, he’s being delayed. And with the press following him almost everyday, it only made everything worse.

 

Then, if worst comes to worst, Ok Taecyeon added up to it. Just as he was about to get to his car after spending the whole day in his office to avoid reporters, he was suddenly pulled back and punched in the face.

 

“Why did you do that to her?!” Taecyeon demanded. “WHY?!?!”

 

“Damn you!” he hissed. “I’ll never hurt my wife!”

 

“LIAR!”

 

They exchanged a few punches after that small talk. Jiyong saw anguish and longing in Taecyeon’s eyes and he hated it. He hated it because it made him realize that the other guy actually cared for his wife. It would have been better if Dara’s ex-fiancé was a douche bag. It would have made him feel better if that were the case. But he welcomed the other guy’s punches. It helped him redirect his thoughts away from everything as he was too consumed with the physical blows he’s receiving. He punched back, of course. It somehow lessened the heavy load in his heart. Taecyeon was screaming words at him, words his brain can’t process. There were too many things in his head right now that he feared its rejecting and refusing to process unimportant details anymore.

 

They both dropped to the ground weakly after a while. Pain and exhaustion took over their bodies. Both were breathing heavily but somewhere in between and for some reason, they started laughing.

 

“I want to hear the truth straight from you,” Taecyeon said after a while. He got bruises and some cuts on his face but he didn’t care. He just stayed on the ground with closed eyes.

 

“Why should I bother telling you?”

 

“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have met her.”

 

Silence came upon them. Jiyong heard the self-mockery, regret and something else he can’t describe. “You shouldn’t have left her like that.”

 

“I know,” he answered. “But I didn’t know what to do at that time but to get away.”

 

“Why? Because you weren’t ready to commit-”

 

“I’ve been ready to marry Sandara since high school. I know she thinks she’s ready but I know better. We’re friends, yes. And I know that in a way, she cares for me but I also know that she doesn’t love me the way. . . .” he paused. “I didn’t want to force her in a marriage she doesn’t even want. She was going through with it because that’s what her family wanted. And I can’t watch that anymore. Seeing her family make a puppet out of her was too much for me so I chose to go away.”

 

“I love her,” Jiyong told him.

 

“I can see that,” he said. “I actually just used the news about you being investigated as an excuse to punch you. I’ve always wanted to fight with you eversince I heard you married Dara.”

 

“Too bad for you.”

 

They became silent again. Jiyong felt weird talking to Taecyeon but somehow, he felt lighter. He should be searching for Dara right now but here he was on the ground on the parking space of their company having a cozy conversation with his wife’s ex-fiancé.

 

“They said you’re still searching for her.”

 

“Yes,” Jiyong answered. “She’s still alive. I know she is.”

 

“That’s nice to hear,” Taecyeon said. “I feel like being stepped on by an elephant everytime I hear Dara’s name and the word dead in one sentence.”

 

“My wife’s still alive.”

 

“I’d really appreciate it if you stop reminding me the consequences of my decision.”

 

“Regrets don’t come easy.”

 

“True. But if I find her first, I can’t promise I’ll return her to you.”

 

“You do that and you might just land yourself in the cemetery.”

 

“Huh! You can try,” he said. “But I don’t think you’ll do that. I think you’ll thank me for finding her.”

 

 

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