5:45 PM

Hongki's POV

Where am I? Everything’s white around me. There’s a bench but nothing else around me. Am I in heaven? Did I die?

“Hongki…”

Who said that? I look around trying to find the owner of the voice but I don’t see anything.

“Hongki…”

There’s that voice again. I try to look again only this time I feel a light tap on my back.

“I’m right here silly.”

I turn around to see Jonghun standing right behind me. I can feel the tears falling uncontrollably from my eyes. It’s been so long – so long since I’ve last seen him, so long since I’ve wished every second of everyday that I would be able to see him again. He cups my face and brushed away my tears with this thumbs, and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, just like he used to.

“Why are you crying?”

“Jo…Jonghun…you…why did you…sniffle…I’m trash…you should have…sniffle…just let me…”

“Hongki. Look at me.”

I look at him, my face stained with tears.

Third Person POV

Hongki raised his head and looked at Jonghun like he was told. Jonghun stared intensely at him –

WHAM

before punching Hongki in the face. Hongki fell down, wiping off the blood from his lip. Although pained, he made no effort to respond. To Hongki, he had deserved this. It was only right that Jonghun be mad at him. Seeing Hongki’s lack of response, Jonghun lowered himself to Hongki’s level. As Jonghun came closer, Hongki closed his eyes, readying himself for the next impact.

“I’m sorry for punching you Hongki, but that was by far the stupidest thing you’ve said and you’ve said a lot of stupid things.”

Hongki’s eyes widened in shock.

“But –“

“Hongki. Why do you blame yourself for that night?”

Hongki began to cry again.

“…they me at gunpoint that day…one held the gun to my head while the other would…they took turns…and if I had any dignity as a human being, I should have just had them shoot me..none of this would have happened if i died…you wouldn’t have died….its all my fault…I don’t deserve anything Jonghun…I…I only deserve to live out my life in agony...silently atoning and paying for the price of my sins...”

Jonghun’s arms were now shaking violently. In a swift movement, he picked Hongki up and embraced him in a hug.

“Listen to me Hongki. None of it was your fault and I mean none of it. Not my death, not anything. Look…Ever since that day, you’ve done nothing but blame yourself and just look at where you're at now. You’ve come a long way since that day Hongki…all the people you met, all of the hardships, the pains you’ve experienced; the determination…the sweat, and blood…don’t you think that is the price you paid?”

Jonghun then stared into Hongki’s eyes.

“I admit. My death was unfortunate. I didn’t want to die that day but I don’t regret dying either...Listen, if anything, I died smiling because I knew that it was for you. I gave you a second chance at life Hongki so please...don’t let my sacrifice go to waste. I want you to be happy Hongki. Move on. Experience love. Find Happiness. And when you finally move on to where I am, we’ll walk this eternal road together.”

“But I don’t want to! I want to stay here with you – “

Jonghun placed a finger over Hongki’s mouth.

“Its not your time yet Hongki.”

Suddenly, they could see a white train silently pulling up. As the train came to a halt, Jonghun’s image began to fade slowly.

“Jonghun – don’t leave me – please don’t leave me. I don’t want to go back. Take me with you.”

Jonghun smiles at Hongki. He had always been the clingy type.

“Idiot. I can’t. I told you it’s not your time yet.”

His image continued to fade. Most of his lower body was gone now and his upper body was following suit.

“Live Hongki. I’ll be expecting to hear stories about your life experiences when you come back.”

Flashing one last smile at Hongki before he completely disappeared, he stated –

“And remember I’ll always be with you, wherever you go.”

6:20 PM

Third Person POV

The two arrived at the facility. The clouds were darkening, seeming as if it would rain any minute – the perfect reflection of how both individuals were feeling at the moment, especially Jaejin. Although this was where he worked, it had been more than three weeks since he filed for his leave of absence. Taking a deep breath, they walked into the facility. When they finally reached Honkgi’s room, they found him in his bed – no restraints, not jacket-vest, no nothing. He was just sitting there, his eyes looking like as if they had been just released from a deep trance. An attendant was sitting next to him on the bedside reading a newspaper of sort, occasionally glancing at Hongki to make sure he wasn’t doing anything. As they stared on from outside the room, Minhwan approached them.

“Jaejin hyung…You came…”

“How is he Minhwan?”

“He woke up about ten minutes before you two came. He’s been like that since…”

Jaejin looked over to Honkgi again, staring at him for a minute before his gaze faltered.

"Does he know? - know that I was the one who had him admitted?"

Minhwan glanced over to the window, looking at Honkgi's static position before replying -

"No. He suspected it but I denied it."

Jaejin took a deep breath before walking to over to enter Hongki's room, earning him the suprised reaction of the junior psychiatrists.

“Hyung…What are you doing?”

“Something that I should have done long time ago. Thanks for everything you've done Minhwan.”

Minhwan smiled sheepishly at Jaejin as he entered Honkgi’s room. Signaling for the attendant to leave, Jaejin took his place at the bedside and calmly placed his hand on Hongki’s. Registering his presence, Hongki slowly turned his head over to Jaejin.

“Hyung…”

After a moment of silence, Hongki spoke.

“Jin…I saw him…I saw Jonghun…”

Jaejin remained emotionless. What did Hongki mean by he saw Jonghun? That was impossible. Jonghun was dead, and Hongki didn’t know about it. After he woke that day, Jaejin and Seunghyun both told him that Jonghun hyung had to go abroad to care for his terminal mother. No one had ever told him that Jonghun died. Even Jonghun’s funeral was kept a secret from him.

“Hyung…Jonghun hyung’s in America…”

Hongki made eye contact with Jaejin.

“Jin…I know…I know he’s dead…”

Jaejin’s eyes widened in shock.

“H-How?”

“I heard you guys that day…his dad told you guys to keep it a secret right?”

Tears began to fall from Jaejin’s eyes.

“It’s okay Jin. I know you guys did it to protect me…”

Hongki then moved to embrace Jaejin in a hug. They remained like that for a while.

“S-So…what did he say?”

“…He told me to move on…he told me to experience love...to be happy…that he’ll be waiting for me on the other side…he said he wants me to experience everything he couldn’t so that when I go over there, I could tell him about my experiences here as we walk together…”

They both smiled at the thought.

“Hongki hyung…that day...he died in my arms. But before he did he made me promise him…he made me promise that no matter what happened…Seunghyun and I would keep you happy…”

Jaejin smiled between his tears.

“…but I don’t think we were able to keep our promise hyung…”

“Jin…”

Swallowing his tears, Jaejin began to speak.

“…Hyung...To this day, I can't forget that day...it was like a living hell but now reflecting back, I think it's taught me something...there’s no such thing as a painless lesson…they just don’t exist. Sacrifices are necessary…you can’t gain something without giving…but if you can endure that pain…if you can walk away from it, you’ll find yourself with a heart that can withstand anything and you’ll be able to move forward. Listen, we’ve been through a lot. You’ve been through a lot…but you're here now hyung - you endured it…and now have a strong pair of legs hyung. You should get up and use them…”

 Hongki smiled at Jaejin. Jaejin smiled back at Hongki before walking off to the window and lifting the blinds. It was raining outside.

"This world…its not perfect. But it is there for us, doing the very best it can…and that’s what makes it so beautiful…so go experience that beauty hyung...not only for your sake but for Jonghun hyung's sake too.”

“Jin…”

Both of the were crying now – not of sadness but of happiness as if a huge burden had finally been lifted off their shoulders. But before anything Hongki had one question to ask Jaejin...one question before he would finally be able to breathe free. 

“Jin...I know that I've been hard to deal with the past few years...pushing everyone away when all they did was try and help...I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry Jin...sorry for being in your way all the time.”

"Hyung..."

Hongki began to cry.

"I...I'm just so...sniffle...sorry Jin...sorry for being in your way all the time...I - "

Jaejin gently strengthened his grip on Hongki’s hand and smiled at him.

“Hyung…I'm not something that exists in some dream of yours…I am who I am and I know that I exist...I'm here for you hyung, through thick and thin...I'lll always be here waiting for you...Don't ever forget that.”

Hongki looked over to Jaejin with tears still falling from his eyes. Smiling wamly at Hongki, Jaejin gently placed his hand on Hongki's face, his thumb gently brushing away the tears/

“Thank you Jin…thank you for everything.”

Jaejin smiled toothily at Hongki.

“Through thick and thin hyung.”

As Seunghyun and Minhwan watched from outside the room, they couldn’t help but smile. Things were finally getting better.