11.28.2012

6:42 AM

Minhwan’s POV

It’s 6:42 in the morning and it is freezing. I’m sitting here on the bench in the park in front of the hospital Jaejin hyung’s staying at. If I’m correct, he should be getting discharged today but I’m not here for that. After I sent Seunghyun the message last night, he requested that I meet him here. When I asked him why not in Jaejin’s room, he told me it’s better not to talk about Hongki in front of Jaejin hyung because apparently he still blames himself for betraying Hongki’s trust and everything. Poor Jaejin hyung. –Sigh- Life is so complicated at times. Still, I can’t help but think that there’s something that the three of them aren’t telling me. I know they’ve been friends since they were young but I just have this feeling that something’s missing and an important one at that. It really is windy today and cold too. Aishhh, where’s Seunghyun?

Seunghyun’s POV

It’s a good thing that I had Minhwan meet me outside the hospital. Since Jinnie hyung still blames himself about Hongki, it’s better to not talk about Hongki at all in front of him. Hmmm. I wonder how the meeting with Hongki and Minhwan went yesterday. I hope it went well but something’s telling me that it didn’t. Still I’m gonna continue to hope that it did. Who knows?! Minhwan might have wanted to meet me to tell me that Hongki’s getting discharged! Hehehe.

Steps outside the hospital.

Wow its really cold and windy today. Wait is that Minwhan? I hope he has some good news.

Third Person POV

As Minhwan waited, he saw Seunghyun coming towards him with a big smile. Watching his ever so cheerful hyung, he couldn’t help but feel happy. Hopefully the mood would remain that way.

“Minhwan!”

“Hyung!”

Handing him a cup of coffee, Seunghyun seats himself next to Minhwan on the bench.

“So why did you wanna meet me today? Are you here to tell me that you fixed all of Hongki’s problems?”

Minhwan smiles briefly before he takes a deep breath and faces Seunghyun directly in the face.

“Hyung. I need to ask you something.”

“Sure. What’s it about?”

“It’s about Honkgi.”

At those words, Seunghyun realized that the situation was a lot more delicate than he presumed it to be.

“What about him?”

Looking at his cup of coffee, Minhwan took a deep breath before asking his question.

“Did something happen to him? or did something happen to the three of you?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Hyung. I need to know.”

Dismayed, Seunghyun eyed Minhwan. He knew he couldn’t keep it a secret forever.

“Minhwan. What exactly happened between you and Hongki yesterday?”

Sighing, Minhwan took a sip of his coffee before he began to answer.

“Well, like I told you he asked me to talk to him after work hours so I went over to his room after shift. When I entered, he was staring outside the window and he told me that when he was a kid, he wanted to be a star.”

“And?”

“And the conversation continued. Eventually, he started to ask me why it had to be so hard for him to be normal. He wanted to know why it was that every time he overcame something, a bigger obstacle would get in his way and push him back to square one.”

Seunghyun continued to listen attentively.

“So I told him that there’s no reason to bear the burden alone and that it’s okay to ask for help – that it’s okay to open up to someone because that’s how we develop relationships – by helping each other. I assured him that it would go fine and that there was someone for everybody. And then he grew quiet.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean exactly what I said hyung. I got no response. Well I actually did but I don’t think he intended for me to hear what he said. Actually its because of that subtle remark I asked to meet you hyung – what he said – it really worries me.”

Seunghyun was worried. Although he already had a vague grasp over where this conversation was headed, he couldn’t help but hope that it was headed in a different direction. The subject that Minhwan was touching on, it hurt all of them.

“What did he say?”

Minhwan takes a deep breath and then exhales.

“He said he didn’t have anyone hyung and that he didn’t deserve anyone because he was trash. He said that trash like him don’t deserve anything like relationships.”

It was at this moment, Seunghyun knew that there was no avoiding it.

“Minhwan. I need you to listen to me and I need you to listen to me very carefully.”

“What is it hyung? Do you know something?”

“I do Minhwan. I do. But you have to promise me, whatever I tell you right now stays between us okay? I know I seem like I’m being and everything right now but what we’re about to discuss is a very sensitive issue that hurts all three of us, especially Hongki. Understand?”

Minhwan nodded at Seunghyun. Taking a deep breath, Seunghyun began to speak –

“To begin, you know that Honkgi hyung, Jaejin hyung, and I are all pretty close right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well there used to be one more in that group. His name was Jonghun and he was Hongki’s boyfriend.”

“Was?”

“Yes was Minhwan. Was.”

Taking a sip of his coffee, Seunghyun told Minhwan the tragic events that had unfolded on their weekend trip and how Hongki had been abducted and and how Jonghun had died trying to rescue him. By the time Seunghyun finished, Minhwan was teary at the account of such a tragic past.

“I – I’m sorry hyung. I didn’t know –“

“Well you were bound to find out eventually.”

“But still –“

“It’s okay Minhwan. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Smiling through his tears, Minhwan thanked Seunghyun.

“Thanks hyung.”

Suddenly Minhwan’s phone began to ring. He picked up the call.

“Yes?”

The call itself was brief – lasting no longer than twenty seconds. What concerned Seunghyun was the expression Minhwan had after he received the call.

“Hyung we need to go…Hongki hyung….he tried to kill himself.”