Miserum II

5:15 PM

Looking at the time, Seunghyun woke up and walked over to Jaejin’s room. and when he entered, he saw, for the first time in a very long time, Jaejin cuddled up in his blanket, sleeping peacefully, giving him the appearance of a child. Part of him didn’t want to wake him up. He wanted this moment of peace and solitude to last forever. It had been such a long time since any of them, especially Jaejin had slept in such tranquility and to wake him up from such a slumber seemed to be an act of cruelty – but he knew it had to be done - for all their sakes. With great reluctance, he walked over to Jaejin and gently shook him.

“Hyung. Jaejin hyung. Time to wake up. We need to get going.”

Jaejin squinted his eyes open, similar to the manner of how a schoolboy opens his eyes when he has to get up for school. Sleepily, Jaejin asked -

“What time is it?”

“It’s almost 5:30 hyung. We need to get going.”

Smiling his characteristic ‘slump smile’ Jaejin got up, rubbing his eyes in the process. After a minute or two, he clumsily walked over to the restroom.

“Alright. Alright. Let me go wash my face. Then we can get going.”

Seunghyun smiled at the sight of his hyung. However, the smile quickly faded.

5:43 PM

Third Person POV

The two settled themselves into Seunghyun’s car and Seunghyun began to drive to their destination. Not quite fond of the awkward and tense atmosphere between them, Jaejin tried to start a conversation.

“So where are we going?”

Seunghyun remained silent. His eyes focused only on the road. Jaejin pouted at the silent response, shifting his attention to the buildings outside his window.

Guess he doesn’t wanna talk about it.

The two remained like that for a while – Seunghyun only staring at the road while Jaejin stared outside the window, only to realize that this path and the buildings they were passing looked extrememly familiar to him. Feeling uncomfortable, Jaejin, began to shift in his seat, trying to repress the thought that Seunghyun would be taking him there of all places.

Jaejin’s POV

"Seunghyun...Where are we going?"

Silence

“Seunghyun. Where are you taking me?”

“Hyung… -“

That tone...I knew it. He was taking me there.

“Stop the car.”

“I’m sorry hyung.”

“Seunghyun stop the car and turn around.”

“I can’t hyung.”

Loosing my cool, I yell at him. Why the hell was he trying to take me there of all places?! He should know better than anyone that that’s the last place I want to be right now!

“SONG SEUNGHYUN STOP THE CAR RIGHT NOW!”

He pulls over and stops the car. Pissed off, I try to exit only to have him lock the doors.

“The hell are you doing Seunghyun?”

“Hyung – just hear me out.”

He looks at me with pleading eyes.

“Hyung….you need to go and talk with him today.”

“The hell is going on Seunghyun?”

He stared at me...his face emotionless...but his eyes...I haven't seem them since the night Jonghun died...

“Seunghyun…Tell me what happened.”

He takes a deep breath.

“Hyung….Hongki hyung attempted suicide this morning.”

My eyes widen in shock. Did he just say Hongki? Hongki tried to commit suicide?!

“The nurses found him unconscious with both of his wrists slit open. He lost a lot of blood but they were able to stabilize him with transfusions. He won’t talk hyung. He won’t talk to any of us…Not me. Not Minhwan…I – I don’t know what to do anymore hyung….”

At that moment, I felt as if my heart had been taken and shredded into pieces. The pain was almost unbearable. Why?! Why Hongki?! Did I only make the situation worse? I only wanted to help him – I just wanted him to smile again…I just wanted to see that smile one last time, but knowing that he tried to kill himself….It is my fault….Its all my fault... Tears began to fall from my eyes.

“Hyung....”

Despite my pitiful appearance, I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down...I needed to if I was going to face him...if I was going to face Hongki. Part of me wants to run away. Run away and dissapear forever but now I know I can't do that....I have to be strong...not only for myself - but for everyone. Taking a deep breath I told Seunghyun.

“Take me to him.”

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Ahhhhh sorry if the story starts to feel like its dragging....don't worry I have a huge resevoir of angst just waiting to be published but before that I need to resolve this Hongki Jaejin dynamic....Anyhow thank you for the continued support It really means a lot to me. THANK YOU!!!