“Oh my god,” said Kyuhyun, cradling his cheek in his hand. “You hit me! Me.” Kyuhyun stared at Sungmin with wide, betrayed eyes, wondering if his poor cheek would ever recover from Sungmin’s heartless and totally unneeded slap.

“You deserved it,” Sungmin scowled.

“B-But, I -“

“Do you want me to slap you again?” Sungmin warned, his palm raised threateningly.  

Kyuhyun shook his head quickly and stayed quiet.

Sungmin lowered his palm and glared with cold eyes. “Was this some sort of elaborate trick to come out of the closet?  Were you trying to make a point, or – wait, are you even gay?”

Kyuhyun scratched his head and stared blankly at Sungmin. “Uh, well, now that you mention it, no.”

Sungmin’s jaw dropped open, and Kyuhyun had to force himself not to laugh. It totally wasn’t his fault that Sungmin looked like his old pet fish he used to have when he was five. It was a good, loyal, fish, but Kyuhyun overfed it, and well, the fish became well acquainted with the sewerage pipes.

Sungmin continued staring with his jaw hanging open. Kyuhyun began to wonder if he should start getting concerned over the lack of movement; maybe he was in shock? He was just about to poke Sungmin’s forehead when he blinked and came back to Earth.

“You…” Sungmin mumbled, looking absolutely astonished, and, to Kyuhyun’s apprehension, a little amused. “You do realise that everyone thinks you’re gay now, right? Now how do you think you’re going to be able to convince the members that you’re not a raging homoual?”

Kyuhyun paled a bit. That was something he hadn’t given much thought.

Sungmin chuckled evilly. “You’ve dug yourself into a hole, Cho Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun spluttered and attempted something of a witty comeback, but all that came out was an unattractive throaty choking sound. His brain was in meltdown mode, and he wasn’t sure how long he could function until he needed his trusty laptop and Google to help him out with his life problems.

“But – but they’ll think you’re gay too!” Kyuhyun childishly remarked.

Sungmin shrugged and smirked. “Big deal. I’ll live.” Sungmin folded his arms, looking more menacing by the minute. “And the next time you try get a girlfriend? Well, let’s just say I’ll advise them not to go down that path, since you’re otherwise… engaged.”

“Hyung,” Kyuhyun whimpered, and without warning, dropped to his knees dramatically. “I was wrong!” Kyuhyun pawed at Sungmin’s arms until he was grabbing his hand near his hips, shaking them forcefully. “I’m sorry, I’ll tell everyone I was just playing a prank and then-“

The door swung open, and Leeteuk spoke whilst sticking his head through the door. “I just wanted to check if you were – Okaaaaay then,” Leeteuk said, looking a bit horrified. “I’ll just uh, leave you… to it.”

Kyuhyun belatedly realised that, from Leeteuk’s point of view, all he could see was Sungmin’s back and Kyuhyun’s hands around Sungmin’s hips. Thing’s really weren’t going well for Kyuhyun lately, and the misunderstandings were really piling up. Leeteuk slammed the door shut and Sungmin took a large step back, his face flaming red.

“Look on the bright side,” Kyuhyun said, sounding awfully cheery, “at least you weren’t really .”

“Cho Kyuhyun I swear I’ll get you back for this. I swear.”

Sungmin didn’t consider himself a cruel person by nature, but after the fourth person had come into his room asking if he just wanted to talk, he had reached his snapping point.

Cho Kyuhyun was going down. Oh he was going to make sure that the snarky maknae never, ever had another successful relationship in his whole life. He would make sure that he couldn’t even walk with his head up after he was finished humiliating him. 

Sungmin had kicked Kyuhyun out of their room after their extremely unpleasant exchange and left him to explain whatever he wanted to the guys. It didn’t matter to him anymore. No, he was going to antagonise and embarrass Kyuhyun as much as he possibly could. It was only fair, so Sungmin would feel absolutely no remorse for any of his future actions.

The maknae needed to be taken down a peg, and he would personally see to it.

The next morning, Sungmin decided it was time to initiate phase one of his plan.

He composed himself and attempted to smooth out the incessant twitch in his left eyebrow, then stretched his shoulders out, getting ready. He left the room and wandered into the living room where he caught a whiff of breakfast. He sat down at the table and waited for everyone to take their seats and food, Kyuhyun giving him a horribly pathetic look all the while, before he would spring the gossip on them.

Sungmin blanked his face, and, completely calmly and out of the blue, deadpanned, “Kyuhyun, honey, has, you know, that rash settled down a little?”

Kyuhyun choked. A heavy silence hung over the members for a few moments as the words sunk in, but not long after, everyone (besides Kyuhyun who was still busy choking) descended into fits of giggles. Heechul was downright laughing out loud, and the rest looked like they wanted to follow suit, but though it might be a little impolite.

Sungmin continued eating calmly, not letting his amusement overtake him quite yet. Things were just getting started. Sungmin picked up his half empty plate and sauntered over to the kitchen, in a fabulous mood. He couldn’t hold his smirk anymore when he saw Kyuhyun, red faced, trying to explain how it was completely untrue and that he didn’t have a rash anywhere.

Cho Kyuhyun, Sungmin thought in amusement, you asked for it. 

A/N: Sorry for the late update ;; I haven't been able to write much lately. I'm not sure about this chapter but, uh, things will be picking up from here (and by things I mean Kyumin), enjoy.