Lay Pov

I checked myself in the mirror; only to get disappointed again. I can't look at myself without getting disgusted. Why am I ugly? Why am I stupid? What's wrong with me? Why am I so innocent? I left out a tired sigh. I smoothed out any creases on my shirt.  I opened the bathroom door and lumbered down to the front door. I stood there lifting my feet, having my maid put my shoes on. She even dressed me today. I have no strength to do anything. She stood back up and slipped my book bag over my shoulders. She did last minute touches on my hair. She gave me a warm smile. Too bad I can't return one, I can't smile. Not if I know this will be another day of torture.

I looked up at the stairs that lead to the school's front doors. I took a deep breath in and started my way up. Reminding myself it's just left, right, left, right, left, and right. With my head down, I walked slowly to my locker. I looked inside of my locker. Nothing, but some books and pencils. I didn't grab any books, knowing that I won't be doing work today. I swallowed, slightly wincing at the pain. My throat is too dry. But, I don't feel like drinking. Hunger left me a day ago, now I'm just thirsty. But I need to punish myself. I deserve this punishment. I heard the bell ring; signaling the beginning of first period. I turned my body and leaned back onto my locker. I watched as students ran to their classes. Some giving me weird looks, probably wondering why I wasn't moving. I just didn't want to face him again.

Eventually I found myself walking into my first period class 20 minutes late. The teacher looked angry and my classmates looked shocked. Do I really look that ugly? I kept my head down until I reached my seat.  I sat down, without lifting my head up.  I wanted the teacher to scold me. I want someone to yell at me. I deserve every word of it.

Nim: YIXING! This is the third time this week! What is the reason this time!?

Me: ....

Nim: OF COURSE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, BUT GET TO MY CLASS ON TIME! I will give you ONE more chance! THAT'S IT! Do you even have your books with you?

Me: ....

Nim: HA! JUST.. JUST... DON'T MAKE A NOISE TODAY! SILENCE FOR EVERYONE! IF I HEAR ONE SOUND, ALL OF YOU HAVE A WEEK DETENTION! AND YOU CAN BLAME YIXING FOR THIS!

I sunk into my chair. Everyone cursed under their breaths. It's always my fault. I'm so stupid! So stupid! Now everyone hates me! No one will ever talk to me. The teacher is right, I have been like this for three days already. I guess you can say I'm scared. From him. Not that I'm physically scared, just I can't bear to see him face to face. I see him a couple of times in the hallway but it makes me cry every time. To see him all over another boy. Suho was never mine. But I don't know why its hurts so much to see him with someone else.

I shouldn't have said what I had said to him that day. I should've been happy.  I should've accepted his confession. Why was I stupid?  If only I knew it would hurt this much.. I would have never rejected him...

~flashback ~

(Three days ago)

Suho: I have tried many times to tell you Yixing. I like you. No, I love you with all of my heart. Everyday I wondered.. Why my hearts beats so fast around you? Why I can't breathe when I'm near you? Why my brain gets flustered when I try to speak to you? Why can I stare at your angelic face without get tired at it? Why am I allured by you? All of these questions went through my mind...Only to have one answer.. I have fallen in love. With you Yixing..

I felt tears run down my cheeks. My throat getting dry; while my heart is thumping against my rib cage. I looked at him.. He also had tears on his face. I don't know what to do... I want him, but I can't.. He's only playing with me. I don't like him.. This is crazy ! I.. I.. CAN'T DO THIS!

Me: I..I.. I'm sorry b-but I don't feel the same way..

Suho: y-you're lying !

Me: Suho, I'm sorry you feel t-this way for me. But.. But I can't return it to you..

Suho: WHY! WHY ! I SPENT EVERYDAY THINKING ABOUT YOU! AND YOU ARE JUST GOING TO SIT THERE AND SAY YOU FEEL NOTHING FOR ME!

ME: S-stop It. Suho, stop acting childish.

Suho: No, you are right. This whole this is childish. Here I was wasting my days on you. When I could have had anyone I wanted with a snap of my fingers.  Someone like you, isn't worth it. You're ugly , stupid, and clueless. And to top it off , you're innocent.  WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT SOMEONE THAT IS INNOCENT! It would've been years, until I can get into your pants!  

Me: G-get out ! GET OUT!

Suho: Don't worry about that. I'm glad to leave your sorry . I hope you have fun, since now you don't have to worry about me being around you.

I watched him leave. I jumped when I heard the door slam shut. I dropped onto the floor and broke into tears.  Feeling my chest being stepped on. Like someone was stabbing me multiple times.

~end of flashback~