Hyukjae had been turning and tossing around ever since two hours ago, but he still couldn’t sleep. And he was annoyed to think that the reason why he had a problem sleeping was because of a certain hateful devil named Lee Donghae. Donghae seemed to be hiding something from him, he could feel it. He had been trying to figure out what Kris was trying to tell him earlier, but he just couldn’t find any answer.

Letting out a sigh, he slowly sat up and stared out the window, looking at the neon lights reflected on the glass. It was quiet around him, and he didn’t like it. He hated to be left alone after all. But there was no way he’d tell Donghae that.

“Donghae…” He didn’t even know why the first thing that crossed his mind at the moment was Lee Donghae. I must be crazy, he thought as he shook his head lightly. He was about to stand up and walk out when suddenly his phone beside him rang, showing Sungmin’s picture on the screen.

“Hyung?” Hyukjae quickly answered the call, wondering why the older was calling him late at night. Did something happen?

“Hyuk-ah, have you been eating well?”

Hyukjae’s lips immediately formed a smile as soon as he heard Sungmin’s worried voice. “Hyung, I’m doing fine. You don’t have to worry.”

“Well, I might need to remind myself again that my little brother is already an adult now,” Sungmin chuckled. “Is everything okay between you and Donghae?”

“Yeah,” Hyukjae managed not to stutter, though he could hear how his own voice changed the moment Donghae’s name was mentioned. But why would Sungmin ask about them? Did he know about what had happened?

“I’m glad then. I hope you two can get along well. I think he’s a nice person, Hyukjae-ah.”

“Hmm…” Hyukjae replied half-heartedly.

“Hyuk-ah…I have something to tell you actually. But please don’t freak out, I’m doing this for you, and don’t ever get mad at Donghae for this, please.”

Hyukjae furrowed his eyebrows at the latter’s words, unable to comprehend what he was trying to say. “Hyung, you’re scaring me. Did something happen?”

“It’s about Donghae,” Sungmin said nervously, “He came to see me this morning.”

“He what?” Hyukjae couldn’t believe what he had just heard. So that was it? The reason why Donghae went back to Seoul in a rush this morning because he wanted to see Sungmin? But why would he do that?

“I’m sorry, Hyuk-ah. I…I told him everything. I don’t know what happened between you two but he begged me to tell him about it, and I just couldn’t let him down.”

“What do you mean, hyung? What…what kind of thing are you talking about?”

“I…” Sungmin paused for a few seconds before he continued, “I told him about what happened to you when you were in college.”

“Hyung, you…” Hyukjae’s voice trembled as he was trying hard to calm himself down, “Y-you promised not to tell-“

“I know, I know what I said. But this time’s different, Hyukjae-ah. Donghae begged me to tell him, he was begging on his knees, and I saw how sincere he looked. He might be the right one for you, I can feel it. Maybe he’s someone that you can trust.”

“You don’t understand a thing, hyung. I ended up like that because I trust people too easily,” Hyukjae said before he quickly ended the call.

He rubbed his face a few times, feeling like his head was going to explode because of the sudden mention of his past. It was hard for him to forget about what happened at that time, and Sungmin just had to bring it up again. But why would Donghae want to know about him? It wasn’t like he cared, so why?

Hyukjae was startled when he heard the sound of the door being opened, followed by the sound of footsteps approaching his room. He hesitantly stood up and walked towards the door but before he could turn the doorknob, it was already opened, revealing Donghae outside.

“Umm…did…did someone else come here?” Donghae asked, scratching his nape awkwardly while looking around the room.

“No,” Hyukjae shook his head, frowning as he watched the latter’s strange behavior. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Donghae said calmly, though he was cursing Kyuhyun in his mind. To think that the latter had just successfully managed to trick him, he really felt like killing someone right now. “Go to sleep, it’s already late,” he said before slowly turning around.

“Why don’t you say something?” Hyukjae said, causing the latter to stop at his track immediately. “Sungmin-hyung told me you went to see him. What exactly are you trying to do?”

“Hyukjae…” Donghae sighed as he faced Hyukjae, but before he could continue, the blonde cut him off.

“So now you know what happened to me. And? What are you going to do? Do you feel happy now that you can see me like this?”

“I’m sorry.”

Taken aback by the words he had never expected to hear from the latter, Hyukjae instantly fell silent. He had never seen Donghae making that face before. The Lee Donghae that he knew was a selfish devil who only wanted him to suffer. But was he really telling the truth?

“I’m sorry,” Donghae repeated, his eyes staring right into the blonde’s. “I’m sorry for what I did. I had no intention to-“

“Stop it,” Hyukjae quickly said, his voice trembled as he was trying to hold back his tears, “I’m going to sleep.”

“I’d never let something like that happen to you if I were there.”

“I said stop!” Hyukjae was practically yelling in Donghae’s face. His eyes were getting teary and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back anymore. “You’d never know how I feel. So stop acting like you understand me! I was nearly by my own best friend, Donghae. And he told his family that I was the one who forced him to do it because I'm gay. I was accused for being a . Do you think that’s easy for me? And even my own father is not accepting me, just because I’m not normal. My whole life is in a mess. Someone like you will never understand, Lee Donghae. I don’t-“

Before Hyukjae could finish, he was already being pulled by Donghae into a tight embrace. And he broke into tears right away, unable to control his feelings. He struggled to get away from the latter’s hold, he punched his chest again and again, but Donghae kept holding him, showing no signs of letting go. He didn’t know what exactly happened then, but he could feel sleepiness was slowly taking over him.

“I’m sorry…”

He could hear Donghae’s voice whispering to him once again, as his eyes were slowly closing. And that was the last thing he could remember before he fell asleep.

______________________________________

It was 3 in the morning, but there he was, standing in the dark while staring at the sky. There were no stars, indicating that it was going to rain soon. He smiled in satisfaction when he heard the sound of thunders roaring in the distance, and he could already feel the cold wind blowing. He shoved his hands into his pockets and closed his eyes, inhaling the cold air around him.

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