│17th October 2006│

What will I do if I’m a superstar?

Eomma…

Appa…

Noona…

I will make you happy and live a better life…

But… What if I fail?

            A young man was sitting in the corner of his dark room. He silently cried, one by one stringing up some words in his mind. More and more he felt pain in his heart.         

            My name is Lee Kiseop.

Aaah… It’s been a week… I don’t wanna do anything… What can I do now?! I’m sick of those inquiries and my friends are mocking me! Those all companies have rejected me! Am I not good-looking enough? Am I lacking in singing a song or dancing?

I even can’t make my family living in peace and wealthness. I’m such a heavy burden to them since I had so many frustrations. Yes, I’m not going to do anything until I can make my dream comes true. But I know misfortune would come and fail me again.

Enough.

This is my limit and I don’t wanna do it again. I surrender,

Eomma, Appa, Noona…

I cannot bare it again, to see all of you live in starve…

Eomma, I don’t like to see you cry for me…

This is the last time you will cry for your only son…

Maybe, I should end this from now on…

            That young man walked approach his bed and pulled out the cover. He made a noose on each tip of the cover and tied one of the noose on the ceiling of his bedroom. He picked up a chair and climbed it. With his neck in the noose, he’s ready to end his life.

            One…

            Two…

            Th─

“Are you bored to be alive?” The man suddenly appeared and sat on the window sill. He let a smirk formed on his mouth and glared at Kiseop.

*Who is he?!*

Kiseop startled that he loose his balance and the chair fell to the floor. The noose now snared his neck tightly that he choked and gasped for air.

            The man chuckled as he saw Kiseop hung on the ceiling and watched him slowly stretched out his soul. Kiseop has been in agony while the man walked approach him and asked the same question, “Are you bored to be alive?”

            “Who… are… Aaarrgghh!!!” Kiseop let a piercing scream as the man pulled his legs and made the noose snared his neck tighter.

Pull and pull.  

For the last time, the man pulled Kiseop’s legs and made the noose severed and Kiseop fell to the ground with a loud thud.

He didn’t move.

The man walked around Kiseop’s motionless body and crouched down. He slowly touched Kiseop’s face.

Still didn’t move.

He dragged Kiseop and put him in the corner of the room. Kiseop suddenly cough and he gazed frantically around the room and ended by staring at the man that stood in front of him. The cold glare he threw at him made Kiseop’s face more paler than before.

“Who are you?! What do you want from me?!” Kiseop shout hoarsely.

“Are you bored to be alive?” Same question asked by the man.

“Yes I am. You ruined it. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!” said Kiseop sarcastically while he imitated the guy that he repeated his questions.

“You’re such a miserable.” The man chuckled. “You should be grateful that you’re still alive till’ this day. You don’t know how’s the feeling of death.”

“How come? You too alive and you don’t know it,”

“Who said I’m mortal? I already dead,”

“You’re lying, sir. Are you drunk last night?”

“I have saved you from a suicide and you don’t want to thank me? How pathetic.”

“Yaaa! I do not want to be alive! I want to die! So is it necessary that I have to thank you?!”

“Okay, okay. I knew it. So you want to die, huh? I can kill you in seconds but promise me you want to do a favor for me.”

“Really? You’re not lying, huh? What favor?”

“Of course not. You have to die first before I tell you the favor,”

Kiseop, with his puzzled mind, he nodded and accepted the man’s request. He shut his eyes and muttered,”I’m ready. Now, kill me.”