Where am I? Red light district? It's so dark and cold. No. I must be...wait...I don't know where I am. If I keep on walking, what would happen? Would the sidewalks end? Would I encounter unsavory people? Would it be so dark that I won't be able to see? Would I walk to another city? If I took a bus and allowed myself to fall asleep on it, where would I end up? If I hailed a taxi and had the driver drive until he couldn't anymore, where would I be? Would I ever make my way back? Would I want to make my way back? If I upped and lefr, would I be able to ever see that silver bracelet on Minho's wrist? Would I be able to cook a meal for Taemin? Would I still be counted as one of Jonghyun's lucky stars? Would I ever be able to see Onew's smiling eyes and beautiful face? What happens to me? Am I able to live past this? Am I able to live beyond the life of the one who raised me? She was my best friend who I could share everything with, my loving grandmother who cooked and baked for me, my mother who tucked me in bed and made sure my hair was in place, she was my teacher who taught me how to love music and sing not just words, but poetry. She was my inspiration, my support system, the woman who convinced my father to send me to ISA...

If I keep going, will I be able to come back whole? Some people would say running away is an overreaction, but when the center of your life leaves you, what else are you supposed to do, other than feel unbelievable pain, numbed by it, and then feel it all over again? My legs will not let me turn around. I am walking farther and farther away from campus, farther from my warm flat, from my friends, from my love, from my future...

Minho's brother died, and his brother's girlfriend is trying to reconcile...he experienced death...is he running away? No. He wears his bracelet and holds on to get better. He stays strong for the one he loves. 

Taemin hates himself to the core...he thinks he is ugly and desperately wants to be perfect when he already is...but is he running away? No. He talks to his brother and he found love in Sulli. 

Jonghyun is...he's experiencing physical and emotional pain of a condition he cannot change...is he running away? No. He is getting help and counts his lucky stars. He found love. 

Onew...Lee Jinki...he came out and was abused...broken by the people who were supposed to build him up. Is he running away? No. He breaks down but manages to lead and live. He is precious and the most wonderful person I know. He is the personification of light. He's my...

"Key!"

No. Wh...don't...Onew...

"Kim Kibum!"

Not here...Lee Jinki...not now...

"Key!" 

Don't turn around...

"Key! Answer me!" 

"I'm not strong...I am small...I am not strong enough to face this...Onew don't come closer...

It was extremely dark. Key had walked for a long time, and now he was in a part of the city, far away from campus, that he was not familiar with, as he was not a native of Seoul. He didn't know how Onew had found him. Onew did not know either. No one had told him, Hyoyeon couldn't find him, he just kept walking because his he felt it in his gut. Key was trying to out walk Onew. He didn't know why he was doing this, his legs just would not stop moving. He let Onew comfort him earlier that same day, but when it came time, Key didn't know if he could be reminded that it actually had happened. He didn't want comfort, he didn't want to go through the five stages of grief, he wanted to rewind the clock. 
 

Key kept walking. It was cold, his chest hurt and he felt pressure in his head, his throat, his legs. He felt dizzy, but he did not stop. He picked up the pace, trying not to let the warm, salty tears that threatened to fall, to escape his eyes. His chest was heaving and he hurt all over, inside and out, but he kept walking. He still felt footsteps behind him. Faster and faster Key went. Faster and faster Onew went, until finally, Onew came close enough to capture Key's delicate, pale, cold wrist. Key tried to pull away, whispering things under his breath that Onew could not understand. Key was furious. He wanted to run away, but Onew wasn't letting him. 

Onew could feel Key's hand shaking. Onew said nothing, as he began to run his warm thumb over Key's frozen porcelain skin. He then took Key's hand and interlaced their fingers while using his other hand to gently rub the tips of Key's fridgid, trembling fingers. Key's skin was dry, and under the street lamps, looked almost colorless. Onew began to use his warm, larger, comforting hands to memorize each of Key's bones, each knuckle, each finger print and finger nail texture, the cold metal of Key's ring that he wore on his index finger, the small squares that made the pattern of Key's skin. 

"How far did you think you would get?" Did you think if you left that we would stop looking for you? Forget about you? Not love you anymore? Did you think that leaving in your state was a smart idea? Take it from me, a breakdown can happen anywhere! What if you ended up completely getting lost? What if your phone died? What if you weren't warm enough? What if you wanted to eat but you ran out of money? What if I had another breakdown? Hm? What would I do without you? What would Minho do if you weren't there after he visits his brother? What if Taemin was not eating anything and you weren't there to make food for him? What if Jonghyun gets worse...if we all breakdown...we need you in infinite amounts because we can only get through if it is the five of us. We can only get though if Taemin has Sulli and Minho has Jjong...and I have you! If I don't have you to warm the other side of my bed at night, to tell funny stories about your high school life, to make breakfast and sing in the kitchen while making it...if I don't have you then...then I don't have you! And I won't live with that! You lost a person that meant so many things to you. It is my job to piece you back together, not sit here and let you run away. We need you and we love you. I love you, Key. Kim Kibum, it took me about thirty seconds to fall for you and I am falling more in love with you with every comment you say and I fell more in love with you every moment that you were not with me. Please let me take you back, you need to heal. Let me at least do that for you. 

Onew panted as if he had said that all in one breath. He then held his, waiting for Key's response. 

30 seconds. A minute. Two minutes. Four minutes. 

"Who...who told you to say all of that stuff?" Key began to sob. "Damn you Lee Jinki for making me fall for you all over again." Key choked out, while walking into Onew's arms. So many tears. 

Answer me, I am right behind you, if you trip or fall

I'm giving us my all

A/N: LATE AGAIN :( i had a rough week. hope you enjoy^^ COMMENT PLEASE ILL RESPOND YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING I LOVE COMMENTS COMMENTS COMMENTS. god this chapter i cried during it.