( Jihye's pov )

 

" Han Joomin. " I repeated her name and frowned to myself. How is it that I can remember her name, her face and the feeling of fear so clearly although I do not remember anything? I look back up to her again to catch a slight hint of surprise on her face.

 

" I.. I... " 

 

she frowned, seeming to be struggling with her words. 

 

" I... " 

 

she sigh and proceeded to bit her bottom lips. " it must have been.. Impactful huh.. For you to remember me despite your condition." 

 

I open my mouth to will myself to say something, anything, but nothing came. I pressed my lips together and gulp, trying to control the weird fear inside me. Finally able to tone down some of that fear, I look up to the girl called Joomin again. This time, I managed to force some words out. 

 

" how... Did you... " 

 

" look Jihye, I.. I was immature at that time.. I couldn't think straight and was blinded by my own wants and temptations.. " she let out a sigh and look down at the table top, avoiding any eye contact with me. 

 

" In the past, I was a complicated kid who just want some attention from people.. You see, I was a mischievous child when I was young compared to my goody two shoes younger brother.. So my parents are always more biased towards him. He always get what he wants and I.. " she stop and started playing with her fingers, chuckling softly. 

 

" I don't get anything. " 

 

her voice, was filled with hurt and despair. The fear that I had felt earlier had completely vanished somehow. 

 

" that's why.. When I met Taemin and jonghyun, the most wanted guy in middle and high school accordingly, I've wanted to made them mine, I wanted to show the world that I could get anything I want, I wanted to make sure that this time, I will do anything I can do to make it possible for me to get it. " 

 

A feeling of surprise hit me when I saw teardrops starting to fall on the table top where Joomin is facing. " I wanted to make myself feel better, I wanted everything to go my way. And when I met you.. " she stopped and chuckled softly again. 

 

" you were so similar to my brother, you were nice, you were genuine and you don't actually curse people behind their back. It made me so angry.. So pissed that you, who is like my brother can get something that I want.. Which was Jonghyun. " she wiped her tears and bit her bottom lips before continuing. 

 

" it was the same case with Mihye and Taemin. I just couldn't stand seeing someone that I want to get to be taken away by someone similar to my brother.. It's like the way my family is treating me is happening even when I'm not with them. It felt horrible. I wanted to destroy the two of you so badly. And my aim all along was to get the popular guy. I told you that just now, and since the girls that they like are so much similar to my brother, I won't give a damn if I destroyed them to achieve what I really want. " she stopped and closed her eyes, letting out a sigh.

 

She didn't talk much about her brother..I wonder if.. 

 

" but your brother.. Didn't he do anything to make you parents give you more attention? Didn't he try to make things fair among you two? "

 

Finally, she lifted up her head and look out of the window. " I.. I had depression Jihye, I was blinded by the love that I crave and lack from my parents. I didn't care about my brother's concern to me much.. But he was a good brother. " a smile formed on her face and she turned to look at me. 

 

" please don't tell any of the stuff I told you to Jonghyun, Taemin and everyone in their group of friends alright.. I would rather them continue hating on me then sympathizing me. " I nodded. She smiled and stood up, turning to leave. 

 

" w-wait Joomin- " she stopped in her tracks and turn to look at me once more. " You probably won't see me again. And.. Jihye,... " she paused and look straight into my eyes. 

 

" I... I'm sorry "

 

With that, she turn and walk quickly out of the cafe, disappearing among the crowds outside. Somehow, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I felt so light. 

 

" people are so different from how the seem sometimes. " I mumbled and look out the cafe, realizing that it's already evening. I stood up and stretch my stiff arms before leaving the cafe, not forgetting to leave a tip on the table. 

 

The fresh yet cold air hit my face once I open the cafe's door. Autumn is at its peak now. My past, like the autumn air, it's all around me, but I just cannot grasp it. 

 

" what's the point in trying to remember when the people around you are not encouraging you to remember it. " I let out a sigh and kick the pebble on the pavement. And suddenly, it dawn upon me, Sunggyu said something about what if the car accident that I had all along thought which made me how I am now didn't actually happen..? 

 

What about the girl Joomin just now? Who was Mihye? Why did she say sorry? What wrong.. Did she do to me..? And Taemin? And Jonghyun? Why are all these questions just appearing now? 

 

" Kibum.. " he has the answers to all this doesn't he..? " I am going to figure all these out today. " I whispered to myself with strong determination before dashing down the sidewalk to catch the bus to Kibum's apartment.

 

------

 

>>> click next!