The moment I was a couple of blocks away from school, I find Jongup waiting by a lamp post, whistling to himself. When he spots me, his eyes were sad and he forces a smile. He walks up to me and takes me in a tight hug.

  I cry into him like I did in the past when I found out Jonghyun forgotten about me. I cry, not caring if there were people around because I didn’t want this to happen. I was in the moment and all those words came out. I want to take them back, but I know I can’t. “Jongup… I want to take back everything. I want to start over with Jonghyun. I didn’t mean what I said! I just those words because I was so mad!”

  He rubs my shoulder and says, “If he truly loves you, then he would understand, but for right now it seems like you two need to cool your heads down.” Jongup lets me go. “Let’s take a walk while I tell you something. We’re still far from home, and I need a lot of time to talk about this.”

  I wipe my tears away and tilt my head. What did he mean by that?

  Jongup starts walking and I follow. He takes a deep breath before saying, “You know how I know Jonghyun in freshman year?”

  I nod my head.

  “Well, we were close friends, but then something happened. He kept talking about this one girl almost every day but never said who it was.” That’s when he shifts his gaze towards me with a frown. “And now I realized it was you. He told me it was a dongsaeng and you know how most guys go for noonas at this point.”

  I nod my head, remembering hearing some guys talking about how they wanted someone to take care of them and stuff like that. They all said they wanted a noona rather than a dongsaeng.

  “Well, at that time, I thought it was stupid and actually told him. He was furious and we started arguing.” He scoffs as if it was a dumb thing to fight over which it kind of is. To me, fighting over a girl is a bit too much. Some may like it, but I don’t.

  Jongup continues. “We started fighting after that. We didn’t seem to get along. Sometimes it even seemed like we weren’t friends in the first place, but enemies. Soon, I just couldn’t stand it and started yelling at him, asking him why he overreacts to everything that dealt with emotions. That’s when we had an actual fight with punches and kicks. Of course we were sent to the principal’s office and suspended for two days. Over those two days, the bitterness took over me and when we came back to school, we stopped talking to each other completely. We were no longer friends.”

  I bite my lip. So Jonghyun gets moved by emotions easily even before the accident. But why around me, he doesn’t seem to be that unstable?

  Jongup bows his head. “And then I moved. I regretted everything and wished I could take back everything, too, but that’s hard when you know your best friend doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. After a while, I thought long and hard and realize I was the stupid one. I was the one who started it anyways. I mean, love comes in different ways, right? And anyone can fall in love with anyone.” He pauses once more. “I also fell in love with a girl. She wasn’t younger than me or older; she was in my grade. That also added on to my guilt since I realize what it was like to be jealous and overprotective, so when I came back, I wanted to tell him I’m sorry.”

  “However, he lost his memories,” I completed.

  He nods. “What I’m trying to say is, don’t get too mad at him. Relationships are full of drama and if you’re going to let him go this easily, you’re going to regret it just like I do. That’s what’s happened to me and I’m still troubled by it because I still haven’t told him.”

  I pat his head. “Don’t worry, Jongup. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” Even if I say that, will he forgive me? I mean, this is the first time I had a fight with Jonghyun and I don’t even know how to approach him. I want him to say sorry, but isn’t that being selfish?

  “I think you should wait a week before telling him what you really feel. And like I said, if he still loves you, he’ll come back to you with no problem.”

  My eyes shift. “I guess.”

  He holds my chin and forces me to look into his eyes. He smiles which is shown all throughout his face. “I know him just as well as you do, and I know he really loves you. That’s why he didn’t talk back. He still cares for you.”

  I can feel tears wanting to come, but I hold them in and take a shaking breath. “I guess you’re right.”

  “No, I am right.” He chuckles.

  I giggle.

  That’s when I realize we were in front of my house. I give him a smile. “Thanks Jongup. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  He nods his head. “See you.”

  I head inside and go straight to my room. Unnie and Jeongmin must still be at school since it’s really quiet and I didn’t see the car out front. I look for my diary and sit on my bed. I’ll read an entry before I start my homework.

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 Diary Entry #32

  August 15

  Heya, Diary! Well, today my family, Jonghyun’s family, and I went to the museum today. I’m not really a fan of museums, but since Jonghyun was with me, I didn’t really care. While Mom and Dad were busy looking at paintings and sculptures, Jonghyun and I decided to walk around.

  We were scanning through the museum unlike the other guests who were taking their time examining one painting for hours! I mean, it’s just so boring!

  While there, we just kept making fun of some of the drawings because they just looked funny! One time Jonghyun tried to imitate an expression, but it was a fail! It just didn’t look right! It was just disgusting.

  Heh, just thinking about it makes me want to laugh so hard! And then, we looked at some of the sculptures. Some I just couldn’t look at because I wasn’t comfortable. I know that’s what a human looks like but I’m still young! I think I’ll feel better when I’m much older.

  So, we basically played around but we were still polite so we wouldn’t get kicked out. Plus, if we did, Umma and Appa would get mad at me. I think Unnie was walking around instead of being with them because when we all met up, Unnie was the last one to be reunited.

  Then afterwards, we ate out and I got to sit next to Jonghyun! AHHH!!! I was screaming inside because I just get excited every time I’m next to him. No matter how many times I sit next to him, I’m always giddy.

  Ah… I’m kind of tired today, Diary, so I might stop here. *Yawns* (Yes, I just put yawn because I’m actually yawning. We didn’t get home until ten and it’s eleven right now. I’ll just cut right here, but with this:

  Today was so fun because I got to spend a whole day with Jonghyun. I hope every day will be like this. I’ll write in you again later! Bye!~

                                         - In Young <3

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  After I read that entry, I couldn’t help but cry my eyes out once again. I can’t. I just can’t live without Jonghyun. Even though I said I wanted to break up with him, I want him back. I want him to be by my side again. I don’t want to be separated. It’s evident in my diary entries.

  Like Jongup said, I can’t give up so easily after what I went through. I have to see him again soon.