I felt completely hopeless. There wasn’t anything I could do, nothing I could say. It almost seemed like it…like it was over.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the sting of fresh tears beginning to arise.

I was stupid, completely stupid.

‘Babo! Babo!’ I admonished myself over and over again.

I didn’t want to hurt Junsu or Nichkhun, but in the very end, I’d hurt them both. I was a bad person. I didn’t deserve the luxury of feeding, cleaning, and living with 2PM at all.

I sat up straight in the bed and nodded determinedly. That’s it! The only way I can protect everyone from getting hurt over again is to quit.

I rolled my head back and forth, to wake myself up more and grabbed a pen and paper. Tapping the pen to my mouth, I pressured my brain to function, so I could start my resignation letter to JYP.

“Knock, knock…” I heard someone softly pound on the door.

“Yes…Come in…” I wiped my tears ferociously away, and hid my writing materials.

“Eun-Gyo, Noona?” I heard Chansung’s voice echo into the room.

I faked a smile and beckoned him over.

“Is something the matter, Chansungie?” I fluffed his hair as he sat on the bed.

“No…Well, yes. I’m worried about you, Eun-Gyo Noona…you don’t seem happy anymore. A few days ago you were fine, but then you started acting strangely. I let it go, thinking it was because maybe you were having ‘that-time-of-the-month,’ or just a bad day, however, I don’t think that’s the case anymore.”

“Oh, Chansungie!” I smiled weakly. “You’re such a sweetie…you’re really like my younger brother. Thank you for worrying about me, but I’m fine. Like you said, I’ve been having a rough week. I’ll be fine in the long-run.”

“You’re sure?” Chansung cocked his head to the side. I knew he didn’t believe me.

“Yes…” My voice drifted off and I gasped as the tears began to form, yet again. “Oh…” I hiccupped and sniffed.

Chansung didn’t reply, but I did feel his arms surround me in a friendly, and soothing hug.

“There, there…” He cooed, my hair. “Tell me what’s wrong…”

As soon as I calmed down, I explained everything. My worries, what went wrong with Nichkhun and Junsu, and how I was currently feeling.

After listening to me pour my heart out, Chansung pulled me into another hug.

“It’s been hard on you Eun-Gyo Noona…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry! Why are you apologizing? It’s my fault. I should have confronted Nichkhun sooner about his feelings. I should have straightened everything out before getting into a relationship with Junsu. I’m the one who’s been pulling and pushing people away.”

“At least you know you’ve done wrong. There are many people who don’t even admit their faults. You aren’t a bad person Eun-Gyo Noona. You’re kind, sweet, fun, and always makes food for your younger brother here!” Chansung slapped his chest.

I gave a smile. Chansung was such an understanding person. The girl he chooses will be a lucky one!

“But…I don’t think you should quit. Quitting would mean you’re running away, and I know Eun-Gyo Noona isn’t someone who would turn her back and run away.”

I nodded. He was right. Before I even could think about leaving the 2PM boys, I needed to apologize, and get everything straight and back on track. I didn’t want to leave on bad terms anyways.

“Thank you, Chansungie…you’ve always been here for me. Thank you.”

“No problem. Now, how about you repay me by making some yummy ramen?”

A gurgle erupted from my throat. A laugh. I hadn’t laughed in days, but here I was now. Maybe things would turn out okay after all…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I looked across to Nichkhun sitting two seats away from me, as he answered the question the MC asked.

The three of us, Nichkhun, Taecyeon, Wooyoung, and I, had been invited onto a talk show, and I wasn’t being as enthusiastic as I should have been.

Nevertheless, I tried to act happy and the same sweet, and sensitive Junsu as always, but on the inside, I felt like crap.

‘Is it the end for Eun-Gyo and I?’ I asked myself. I knew I’d be able to forgive her for everything because my love for her was true, however, I’d been debating if it was the right thing to do. Should this be something to be forgiven? Even if I did forgive her, would we be able to go on?

“I would like to know about how the 2PM boys deal with arguments and conflicts around the dorm and elsewhere. Junsu, will you tell us a little bit?”

I shook my head out from my day trance and focused on answering the question, choosing my words carefully.

“It depends how serious the conflict is. Most of the time, it isn’t too significant so we can all sit down and discuss. We usually can come up with some compromise that everyone is happy with in the end.”

“You said that the conflicts, most of the time, aren’t significant. That does mean though, that you can get into more significant arguments though. Tell us about how you deal with your anger if this occurs.”

Great. This isn’t where I wanted to conversation to go. Blech.

“If the conflict is so significant that I get angry, I usually won’t be able to speak to my members because I don’t want to end up yelling at them. Having a yelling fight isn’t good. If it happens, I’ll probably go somewhere by myself to cool down and then talk it out.”

“I see,” the MC was disappointed. What did he expect? That we all get into a fistfight or something? That’s just absurd.

“Well thank you for watching our program today,” the MC wrapped up. “We hope you enjoyed hearing what 2PM is up to these days, and tune in next week for our special with Super Junior! Goodnight, and thank you again!”

“…And…we’re off!” The PD signaled.

“Thank you!”

“Good work!”

“Thanks for your hard work!”

“Goodbye!”


After filming, I wandered to a nearby coffee shop. I actually did need to calm down because after, I’d be calling out Nichkhun to talk.

Sipping my mocha I’d ordered, I wondered what I would say.

I was piping mad, definitely, but I didn’t want to be extremely angry because Nichkhun is my friend.

“ARGH!” I scratched the back of my head. Why was this so difficult? I’d always see these kinds of situations in dramas, but I never thought it would have happened to me.

I sat in the café for another half and hour, pondering many things, and finally decided that it was time.

Pushing the glass door open, I was surprised to find that Nichkhun was just walking in.

“There you are…” he said, without much emotion either. “I was just coming to get you.”

I gulped and summoned my courage, and said in, to my surprise, a steady, low voice. “Yes. Well, I’d like you to sit down.”

Nichkhun also seemed surprised, but he didn’t reject the offer, and immediately sat in a chair.

I also sat, and sighed. I didn’t mean to sound cold. Time to start ‘Plan B,’ play it cool and calming talk it out.

“Nichkhun,” I started. “We need to talk. This can’t be put off for much longer because I’m afraid if we did put it off, we’d both eventually blow up. It’s better if we can discuss this now in a calm and a more…uh…friendly manner.”

I watched consciously as Nichkhun furrowed his brow in, relaxed it, and exhaled.

“You’re right,” he replied, this time his voice had let go of the icy tone, and now, it just sounded tired.

“Nichkhun, we’ve been friends way longer than either of us has known Eun-Gyo. I don’t think we should be on such unfriendly and cold terms with each other just because of a girl.”

“So are you saying that ‘friendship’ triumphs over ‘getting the girl, meaning that neither of us gets her?” Nichkhun raised his eyebrow.

“Uh…theoretically, yes. But I don’t know if I’d be able to give her up.”

“Well, me either.”

We were getting nowhere. At least we had agreed on something, but neither of us was going to make the move of letting Eun-Gyo go, and handing her to the other.

“I guess it’s because we’re both kind of stubborn by nature,” I gave a small smile, trying to lighten the mood a little more.

“Yeah! At least we can agree on some things still,” Nichkhun laughed, going along with me.

“We need to get back to being more like ‘brothers.’ We’ve always been like that, but lately we’re more like enemies. We need to come to some sort agreement about Eun-Gyo, or we’ll never be able to let go of anything. That’s the core of the problem.” I began to reason.

Nichkhun nodded. “Well, what better way to do that than by having Eun-Gyo pick herself, me or you. The other one will have to give up when she decides.”

“Sounds fair to me. Is there a certain amount of time in which she will need to choose?”

“I don’t think so,” Nichkhun shook his head this time. “We’ll just be putting pressure on her, and plus, if there’s a time limit, we’ll both become way to competitive with each other.”

“But there’s a problem with that. Girls…well…girls like it when the guy asks them out. It might be awkward to say that we’ll compete until she asks one of us out.”

“You’ve got a point…Well, let’s just say, when you feel like you’ve got the right time, and the right chance, you can confess and ask her out. If she says ‘yes,’ then you win. If ‘no,’ obviously, you’ve got to give up.”

“Well, that’s also good, but I say that neither of us can do that until we’ve had some time to pursue and convince her. Let’s say, two or three months?”

“Two and a half,” Nichkhun bargained.

“Agreed,” I held out my hand, to seal the deal.

“Deal,” Nichkhun’s hand slapped mine, and our fingers closed over each other’s.

It’s on…I’m never going to lose to him!